Happy the Hard Way

Kallel was most definitely not looking forward to school today. She walked in and immediately saw her decoy standing by her locker, his name was Mark. He seemed like a really sweet guy, she didn’t understand why he was allowing Logan to do this. The only explanation she could come up with was free pot; Mark was a druggie. Kallel gave him a lazy hello and started stuffing her backpack into her locker.
"Hey kallel, hi..person who is not Cameron." colleen said, giving them both a wary smile.
"Hey Colleen, this is Mark, my new cameron...i guess" Kallel said. She desperately wanted to tell Colleen about Logan, but if she did that she knew logan would do something to someone she loved, plus he was always lurking right around the corner.
"oh...well then, I'm Colleen" she said, giving kallel a confused look.
Kallel knew what colleen was thinking, 'slut'. there was no doubt in her mind that everyone would be thinking that about her, first there was Logan, then Cameron, then Mark the decoy. Kallel hated herself for doing this to Cameron.
Kallel ate her lunch unusually quickly that day and left the lunchroom early and headed towards her locker. She turned the corner and saw cameron leaning up against her locker. Her heart started beating faster and a smile appeared on her face, then she remembered what she did to him and her heart sank.
"hi..." she said quietly, opening her locker.
"who was that guy you were kissing earlier today?" cameron asked, his voice harsh.
"Mark..." she said, feeling embarrassed.
"that’s funny, i didn’t think you wanted to be in a relationship with anyone" he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Kallel didn’t say anything, she had no idea what to say. "Did you even love me?" cameron asked quietly.
"Cameron, i'm not discussing this." she sighed, she loved him, and still did, but if she admitted this to him he'd only end up getting hurt, physically again by Logan.
"no, Kallel. Please inform me, what the hell is going on?" he asked rudely.
Kallel shut her locker and leaned her back against it "Drop it." she said, avoiding his eyes.
Cameron sighed "kallel, i love you. I don’t get it, why..." he said quietly, moving closer to her so that his face was an inch from hers. he lightly placed his hand on her cheek and looked deep into her eyes. Kallel wanted to tell him, so, so bad, she wanted him to save her from this 'destiny'. Cameron's lips lightly brushed against hers then he whispered "you don’t have to do this." then he kissed her.
Kallel knew he was right, she didn’t have to go through with logan's plan, or whatever you want to call it. but then again she did, he mentioned Elizabeth. Of all people, her sister, her younger, 6 year old sister. Kallel quickly pushed Cameron back. "Cameron, no." she said, her eyes closed. she sighed and looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Mark running towards them. 'shit' kallel thought to herself.
"Is everything okay here?" mark asked, wrapping his arm around kallel's waist.
Kallel gave her most convincing smile "its fine" she said, giving Mark a kiss on the check. She gave Cameron a 'leave me alone' look then walked off with Mark, their fingers interlocked. It was disgusting her that she had to pretend she didn’t like Cameron, she had to go back to treating him like dirt, she had to do it all with a smile on her face. she was disgusted by herself.
***
"how was your day pumpkin?" logan asked once kallel got into his car.
"don’t call me that." she said, not bothering to put on her seatbelt.
"well someone had a bad day now didn’t they" he said smiling, shifting the car into drive and leaving the school parking lot.
"you're having a hay day with this aren’t you? you’re just loving every minute of it." she said angrily, staring straight ahead out the window.
"feisty, i like it." he said, then turned the radio on, signaling they were done talking.
Logan pulled into a Jack-in-the-Box "hungry?" he asked.
Kallel shook her head "I don’t eat meat, and i'd rather not have a heart attack from fast food either." she said, it was somewhat true, she didn’t eat ground hamburger, only turkey, chicken and shredded beef; she was weird like that. Logan shrugged and ordered through the drive up. I guess you could say they had a normal fake relationship. Even though it wasn’t normal, at all. They went on normal dates, he actually treated her right this time, no abuse. Kallel still was uneasy around him, she knew he could hit her at any time. Whether he hit her or not, she still hated him.
A few days later Logan took her back to his house, they were sitting in his bedroom watching tv, although Kallel was just staring at the tv, thoughts racing through her head.
"so did you love him?" logan asked "cameron, i mean."
"you bet." she said, glancing over at him, he was studying her.
"you love me right? " he asked a smile on his face.
"not one bit. but i sure as hell would love kicking you in your ball sack" she said, taking a drink of water.
"ouch, that was harsh. you know that could prevent me from having kids one day, right?" he stated.
"why on earth would anyone want you to be their child’s father, the kid wouldn’t want you to be its father either." she said. She tensed up as logan sat down next to her, slinging his arm around her shoulder.
"i'm not going to hurt you, i've got all of my anger worked out. that’s what those anger management and abusive classes will do, you know, the ones you sent me to. Thanks for that, really thank you, that’s coming from my heart" he said, tapping his chest. Kallel picked up her glass of water and splashed it on him. Logan laughed. "see, months ago i would have beat the living hell out of you for doing that, and being a smart ass. but like i said, i've been helped" he said, placing his hand lightly on her face. "you don’t have to be scared of me" he said, his face close to hers. then he kissed her, holding her face in his hands.
Kallel refused to kiss him back, she couldn’t do that to cameron, even if she wasn’t with him anymore, she was being forced into this, she wasn’t going to kiss him. He was a vile, repulsive person, no, he wasn’t even a person he was a monster; she wasn’t going to show him affection. "You'll learn to love me" logan said, then grabbed his keys to take her home. Kallel had to admit he was being a gentlemen, opening the car door for her and offering to buy her food, he was still an ass. She was still itching to know why he was making her date him...shady.
Again, Kallel refused to put on her seat belt. Logan glanced over at her "put your seat belt on..." he said. Kallel shook her head. Logan sighed "just do it, it could save your life." he said.
"not dating you could have saved me a bunch of bruises." kallel snapped back at him. "what are you a motivational speaker? 'put your seat belt on, it could save your life you know!' " Kallel said mocking him. Logan shook his head and pulled out of his driveway and headed to kallel's house. He let her off at the corner, then watched her walk up to her house and left once she got inside.
Kallel walked in the front door of her house and saw Nathan and Elizabeth sitting in the living room watching The Wiggles. "Hi..." kallel said, confused why nathan was there.
They both looked up at her "oh hey, your parents went out to dinner with mine, double date for them" nathan said standing up.
"don’t you have better things to do on a Friday night rather than watching The Wiggles." kallel asked, the words coming out harsher than she meant, setting her backpack down.
Nathan was shocked by her tone but ignored it. “where were you?" nathan asked, avoiding her question.
"with L-Mark," she said, catching herself before she said logan.
"what happened with you and CQ?" he asked.
Kallel glanced over at elizabeth who seemed to be listening in. "Elizabeth why don’t you go upstairs to your room" kallel said. Once she heard elizabeth's bedroom door shut she answered nathan's question. "its over. i just didn’t want to be in a relationship..." she said, avoiding his eyes.
nathan gave her a skeptical look "uh-huh. i see. But you're dating this Mark guy?" he asked.
"no" kallel said, which is true, she wasn’t. she was 'dating' logan. "we're just enjoying each others company. I'm not in a committed relationship with him, and he's not in one with me." she said. Nathan nodded, though he was still confused. Kallel sighed "Look, Cameron seemed more like a relationship kind of guy, a serious relationship guy. i don’t want that, and I’m sure cameron doesn’t want a non-committed relationship" Kallel finished.
Nathan nodded "have you seen him lately?" he asked
"today at school. Why?" kallel said.
"i was at his house tonight. that kid is a mess. sweatpants, his hair is a mess, well it always is, but its ten times worse" he said, messing with his dreads.
An image of Cameron in sweatpants, his hair a mess, popped into kallel's mind. He was adorable like that, though he probably looked like more of a wreck than adorable. Knowing that she was hurting him, and she was making him worse absolutely killed her inside. Like nathan said, he really, really liked her. What.had.she.done?
Kallel stood there awkwardly, she wanted to tell nathan what was going on, but she wasn’t sure why Logan had wanted her back...she couldn’t risk putting people she was close to in danger.
"i guess its not really any of my business. but uhm, i should go" he said, clapping his hands together. Once he was out the door Kallel lugged her backpack upstairs and plopped down onto her bed ready to fall asleep; Only to have elizabeth barge into her room and jump up and down on her bed. This was going to be a long night.