Happy the Hard Way

Kallel opened her eyes slowly. She sat up and looked around, not knowing where she was. She was laying next to a brick wall in a small nook off of the street. 'how did I get out here? I was just at Logan's….no. no. NO! it didn’t happen. it couldn’t have. but it did. I remember him. i kept going in and out of consciousness when he, he....he raped me.' Kallel quickly stood up looking down at herself, she was wearing one of Logan’s shirts and her, now ripped sweatpants. she felt disgusting, like she was covered in mud. she had to get home. She ran out onto the sidewalk, and looked around, there wasn’t a car in sight. She had to walk the 2 miles home.
"She's home!" her mother yelled when Kallel walked inside. "Kallel, honey what happened!? were you out in that rain?"
Kallel nodded "sorry, my phone battery died. you know i like to walk instead of taking a car. sorry. I’m going to shower off and go to bed if you don’t mind. Night" she lied, then slowly walked upstairs. she stood in the shower, looking down at her feet. How could she feel so disgusting and dirty but not have the water wash it off...After 30 minutes of standing in the shower and scrubbing her body nonstop she got out and headed to bed. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw Logan, with his black eyes, forcing himself on her. Sleep was out of the question, instead she spent the night curled up in a ball on her bed.
The next day Kallel got out of bed, happy to see daylight. she there on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, ran a brush through her hair and headed over to Nathan's. There was no way in hell she was walking to school alone. Nathan walked out of his house, pop tart in hand, back pack slung over his shoulder. "oh hey kallel?" he said
"hi, i was wondering if maybe...i could ride with you to school?" she asked, looking down.
Nathan gave her a questioning look then nodded and got in his car. "since when do you not walk to school?" he asked after they started driving. Kallel shrugged, looking down at her lap. Nathan was quiet the rest of the drive, he would occasionally look over at her a puzzled look on his face then turn his attention to driving.
When he pulled into a parking spot kallel climbed out of the car. "thanks" she said quietly then ran off to her locker. 'i have to tell someone, i cant just hide this or pretend it didn’t happen...or could i? i deserved it anyway. no one is going to feel sorry for me. I don’t even feel sorry, i deserved it. YOU deserved this kallel. it serves you right. suck it up and move on, no one cares.' she thought to herself. She saw mark standing by her locker, the smile vanished from his face when he saw her.
"are you okay Kallel?" he asked, resting his hand on her arm.
Kallel slapped his hand off of her "don’t touch me" she said, then opened her locker, grabbing her books for her math class.
"did something happen Kallel?" he asked concerned. Kallel had begin to think of Mark as a friend, and for a split second she thought about telling him. But he was helping Logan. Mark was part of the reason she was rapped. he probably knew about it and was pretending to be concerned, no doubt laughing inside, he probably laughed with Logan about this. Kallel shook her head and ran off to math without him.
She sat down, Cameron was already there. "trouble in paradise? i saw that little fight out by your locker" cameron noted, being sarcastic. Kallel couldn’t look at him, instead she opened her math book and started reading the next chapter. "i'm sorry it was just a joke..." cameron said sympathetically, a hint of concern in his voice. Kallel ignored him, she didn’t deserve his concern.
After class Kallel ran out and headed to the bathroom, staying in there until she heard the bell ring and the hallways get quiet. She walked out of the bathroom and ran right into Mark.
"hey! there you are. Logan seemed kind of pissed this morning, he was asking about you..." he said, slinging his arm around her shoulders.
"Mark!" she snapped, "I told you, don’t. touch. me."
"Kallel, are you sure you're okay? i mean i know i'm not your favorite person for helping Logan out but if you need to talk i'm here, I kind of consider you a friend..." he said, moving closer to her.
"don’t even pretend like you don’t know, it was Logan's plan all along, you knew about it. And now you're going to pretend you don’t know what he did to me. that's just low." she said, fighting back tears.
"what? Logan?! What? kallel i'm beyond confused right now." he said, gently pulling her out a door that lead outside. "what happened?" he asked sternly. Kallel scoffed, she couldn’t believe him, pretending like he didn’t know. She glanced up at him, seeing his eyes wide with concern. "what did he do? i know he did something, you just told me in there. What did i allow him to do?" he sounded hurt, saying the last few words slowly.
He was faking it, she knew he was. "God damn Mark! you're going to make me say it!" she whisper yelled. "its pretty funny for you and logan though, right? Hey my names Logan and I raped Kallel. good one right?! yeah i got her back for her telling the cops that I hit her!" she said, tears spilling out of her eyes.
Mark sunk down onto his knees. "He, he what?......He raped you. I let this happen, if i wasn’t fake dating you for free pot you wouldn’t have been raped...." he said, putting his head in his hands.
'oh shit, he didn’t know. i just told him i was raped.' she thought to herself. "mark, i thought you knew all along. I....Its not your fault, he would have managed to do it sooner or later. with or without you." she said quietly, now mark fell like it was his fault. "its not your fault mark, its mine. i deserved it"
Mark stood up and gave her a hug "Kallel Clancy this is NOT your fault. you did NOTHING to deserve this. you're a victim. you need to tell the police" he said "...did you by chance take a pregnancy test?"
"I‘m not telling ANYONE! i don’t want to relive it. i'm just going to forget about it. I'll be fine. its not your fault, its mine. forget i even told you" she said, ignoring the last question, then ran back inside school.