Nothing to Fear

Taking out my phone, I dialed Nana’s number. I stepped under a giant oak in the front yard as I listened to the dial tone. Raindrops pelted down on me through the leaves and branches that were snapping all around me. I held my cell phone close to my ear and placed my free hand on my other ear to block out all other sound. The phone rang a few more seconds before it went to voicemail. Nana’s honeysweet voice spoke through the recording. Perhaps it would be the very last time I‘d ever hear it. “Hi. You’ve reached Madeline Culpepper. I’m not in right now, so please leave your name and number and I’ll get back to you shortly.” I hung up the phone before the beep went off.

I ducked my head through the tree branches and dared to steal a peek at the upper window. Whoever was in the window before had left. I made a run for the door, my feet sloshing in the mud as I did so. Before reaching the building entrance, I slid on the mud and fell into the stony gravel below. Pain shot through my knee. I let out a yelp and hugged it to me.

After a few moments of recovery, I heard a loud bang coming from somewhere inside the building. “Nana!” I called out. I instantly rose from the ground, ignoring the pain screaming inside me. I limped up the porch steps as best I could. With every step my body rejected my movement, but I couldn’t be stopped. Nana was the closest thing I had to a mother and in many ways she was the closest person to me.

Once I reached the door I found that the door was locked. Of course it was locked! I pounded on the door after falling to my knees. I felt so helpless. “Nana! Someone help! Nana!” I yelled as loud as I could, but it still didn’t sound loud enough. The storm was drowning me out. I continued to pound on the door, but for a different reason entirely.

“Oh, Alizabeth,” an earsplitting voice taunted from somewhere in the darkness. I squinted my eyes tight. It was a voice that I had dreaded the most. It made my body go limp. “Shouldn’t you be somewhere?”

“Go away!” I cried out, though I was certain it would do no good. The voice only let out a mocking laugh. “Just go away.” My voice had been beaten to a whisper and I began to sob.

“Alizabeth? Is that you? Dear, what are you doing out in this weather?” My eyes opened to a short old woman wrapped in a heat blanket. Her eyes were opened as wide as they would go and she moved closer to me while holding the door open with one hand.

“I’m fine Mrs. Bradshaw,” I assured as I raised myself up off the ground and stepped into the building.

“Does Maddie know you’re here?” Mrs. Bradshaw asked as she led me up the steps to the second floor. I found myself watching the cracks under the door to her apartment cautiously.

“She should. I spoke with her on the phone. Does she have company already?” I asked. Because Mrs. Bradshaw was so old, it took twice the time for us to make it up the stairs. My skin was crawling as we came nearer.

“There was a man that she buzzed in about a half hour ago, but I don’t know much about it.” I swallowed deeply, but a huge lump still sat in my throat. I nearly grabbed Mrs. Bradshaw as she knocked on the door. If someone had intruded, nothing would stop the perpetrator from tackling old Mrs. Bradshaw and myself.

We waited outside on the landing for a few moments, but there was no answer. Mrs. Bradshaw mumbled and knocked again, this time more profoundly. Still there as no answer. “Perhaps she went out for some bread.” Mrs. Bradshaw offered. “Maddie? It’s me, Lily. Are you home?”

My eyes moved from the door to Mrs. Bradshaw, then back to the door again. I chewed on the side of my mouth, which was a nervous habit of mine since I could remember. Mrs. Bradshaw sighed again and looked to me. Just as she was about to speak, the door flung open.

“Lily? Alizabeth? Honey, you look awful. What happened?” Nana stood in the doorway, unscathed.

“Nana! You’re alright?!” I gave her a hug and she laughed a familiar laugh. My body filled with warm relief.

“Well, of course I’m alright Sweetheart.” She laughed once more.

“But I saw a man in the window,” I blurted out. Nana let out another gentle laugh. My eye brows knitted together in confusion.

“Alizabeth, that was just Mr. Jenkins. He was installing my new cable dish. My screen got all fuzzy because of the storm so he came and hooked up that fancy cable dish your father got me last year. Poor guy smashed my window.” I was speechless. Of course her story made sense. It did. “But what happened to you, Dear? Are you alright?”

“I just slipped outside,” I gestured down at my muddy. “I’m fine now.”

“Well, we’ll have a look. Come on in. Lily, you are welcome to join us if you like. I made a big pot of stew. It’s on the stove.”

“No thanks, Maddie. Elliot is waiting for me downstairs. It’s salmon night.” Mrs. Bradshaw turned and made her way back down the stairs.
“Well, come on in Miss Beth. I’ll ladle you a cup of stew and you can tell me all about your new job.” I followed Nana into her apartment that was decorated much like a home from the 1950’s. All of her furniture was decorated with lace doilies and it was unnaturally clean. I stepped through the living room and into the kitchen, Nana in front of me.

“Mr. Jenkins, Alizabeth is here with information about her new job.” Nana said as we entered. She went straight to a pot and began stirring. Mr. Jenkins sat at the small table sipping a glass of milk. He was a man in his late 40’s. His four daughters have all graduated and his son just took on a position in accounting. For his age, Mr. Jenkins looks about ten years older.

“Is that so? Where might that be?” He asked looking up from his milk with a smile.

“I’m going to act as an assistant for a doctor there.” Nana sat a bowl of stew in front of me. Nana’s stew has always literally been a healing remedy for me. She’s been feeding it to me practically my whole life.

“But of course you’ll be a doctor by the end of your schooling, right Sweetie?” Nana asked. I could hear the smile in her voice.

“What doctor are you assisting? I may know him.” Nana let out a laugh as she poured me a glass of milk.

“Is that so, Bradley?” I couldn’t help but chuckle myself. “Do you get a lot of mechanic business from them?” Mr. Jenkins made a face, but didn’t respond.

“Dr. Jonathan Crane,” I answered. “He acts as a psychiatrist and medical doctor.” I answer, trying to talk up Dr. Crane as best I can. Unfortunately, I was partially distracted during his interview and his demonstration. My information was vague.

“Hmm.” Mr. Jenkins leaned back in his chair. “Haven’t exactly heard of him. Then again, I don’t make very many house calls to the Asylum.” Mr. Jenkins finished off his milk and looked at me thoughtfully. “I heard they’re taking that serial killer there. What’s his name?”

“Oh, Bradley. You’ll give us all nightmares talking like that.” Nana let out a joking laugh.

“Victor Zsasz?” I offered. Nana grew quiet as she took her place next to me at the table. I had nearly forgotten the conviction of Victor Zsasz and his relation to the note I had found in my home.

“Yeah. Are you sure you’re up to it? I hear it’s a tough job, harboring those goons.” I had to admit that I hadn’t thought of it in the same way as Mr. Jenkins did. I looked at it as helping people. I hadn’t once thought about the difficulties of the job. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it though,” Mr. Jenkins continued, turning to look out the broken window in the living room. “You’ll have doctors like this Crane fellow to help you out.”

“Yeah. I suppose you’re right,” I answered. I could hardly see Dr. Crane helping me out if one of the patients went hostile. Something about him made me wonder if he even wanted me as an assistant. He didn’t seem too concerned about my safety when Killer Croc was set free.

“Well, I’m just glad my little girl is following her dreams. I’m so proud of you, Alizabeth.” Nana squeezed my hand. I felt my eyes moisten and I had to look away from Nana’s sweet motherly face.

Mr. Jenkins cleared his throat in discomfort. “Well, I must be going. Thanks for the stew, Madeline. It hit the spot. I’ll come back tomorrow to fix that window. Sorry for the inconvenience.” He stood up and put on his coat. Nana stood up to and began to scoop out some more stew which she put in a plastic container.

“Here, Bradley. Take the rest of it. I know an old woman like me can’t finish it off.” Mr. Jenkins accepts it automatically.

“Thanks very much, Madeline. I’ll be sure to have it for my lunch tomorrow.” His eyes went to me. “Good luck on that job of yours, Alizabeth. I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” He winked and then left the apartment.

Nana turned to me, her smile even wider. I raised my eyebrows in curiosity. “What is it Nana?”

“I have a surprise for you!” She giggled like a little girl. “Hurry up and finish your stew.”

After dinner, Nana led me into her bedroom where she searched through her closet. It seemed as if I were standing there for a while before she said, “Oh! Here it is.” She turned around to face me, holding a blue velvet box. “I know I really shouldn’t have taken them, but your father is too hung up on the death of your mother. God only knows what he would have done with them.”

She handed me the velvet box, which felt like feathers to my skin. I brushed my fingertips across the lid before opening it. Inside the box was the most beautiful necklace of sea foam pearls; my mothers’ pearls. I could barely believe what I was looking at. I hadn’t seen the necklace for ages. I had thought that it had gotten lost many years before, but there it was.

“Nana, where did you get this?” I asked, breathless.

“I took it out of your fathers’ room the day I left. Oh Alizabeth, I hope you’ll forgive me. I just knew he’d never let them go.” She touched my shoulder.

Thinking back, I did remember my dad seeming very downbeat. I caught him in his room yelling and throwing things. “It’s gone! Someone stole it!” He yelled to no one. Eventually, he simmered down and went back to work. Sometimes it’s scary how easy burying the things you love is.

“Thank-you, Nana.” I hugged her and gazed longingly at the set of pearls. I don’t think anyone could ever understand the happiness they brought me. Before I left, Nana brought up the subject of my new job several times. Mainly about the dangerous criminals that were housed there. Her face showed signs of being worried. For that reason, I didn’t bring up that nights events.

“Now, just be careful tomorrow,” she said as if I was a little girl going to play at the playground. “I want to know more about this Dr. Crane the next time I see you. Alright, Miss Beth?” I let out a laugh as I shrugged on my coat.

“Of course, Nana. I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. Arkham is a secure place. I should be fine.” I hugged her and left, but all the while, I couldn’t stop thinking about how wrong I could be about Arkham.

“Welcome, back Miss Knight.” The secretary spoke as I entered the Medical Facility the next day. Coincidently it was the same secretary that I had spoken to the previous day. “Just go up those stairs and make a right. Dr. Crane should be in his office.”

“Thank-you,” I nodded, thankful that she didn’t tell me that he was out. Then again, hadn’t Dr. Bolding say that Dr. Crane was usually in the Medical Facility.

I walked up a flight of stairs that led to a long wide hallway. I turned right and began to read the names on the doors. As I was doing so, I noticed my heart beginning to beat faster. Why was I nervous? It was just Dr. Crane. What was it about him that made me so jumpy?

Finally I reached a door that read Dr. J. Crane. It was much like the door to his other office, except it didn’t have a humongous crocodile sized chunk taken out of it. I knocked twice on the door and waited, playing with the sleeve of my shirt.

“Come in,” Dr. Crane’s voice sounded from the other side. I twisted the doorknob open to see Dr. Crane sitting behind another desk, this one was ironically more clean than his other. He stood up and offered me the chair in front of his desk. “Please, have a seat Miss. Knight.”
I did as I was told and sat in front of him. I tried my best to keep myself from scanning the room. Dr. Crane managed a smile as he took his seat back behind his desk. I couldn’t help but notice that he wasn’t wearing his glasses. His striking blue eyes watched me carefully.

“I’m sorry to have left you yesterday. I was needed elsewhere for urgent business. I imagine that you got along alright with out me?” He said it as if it were a question. Something protested deep inside me. Did he really not know what happened or was he just playing dumb with me?

“Dr. Crane?” I spoke, my eyes didn’t leave his. “Are you aware of what happened yesterday?”

“Miss Knight, I’m afraid I don’t.” Dr. Crane and I kept our eyes locked. Something was coming over me and I didn’t know what. It was something I had never felt before.

“You left me in your office yesterday, right? Do you know what happened after that?”

“I can’t say I do,” he responded, much like a robot. What was wrong with him?

“Dr. Crane, I am a college student.” I put a hand on my chest to suggest it. “I don’t know what’s going on here in your asylum, but you and everybody else are acting as if… as if.”

“As if… what, Miss Knight.” When he spoke my name, it sent shivers down my spine. Of course, it didn’t phase me.

“As if you’re all pretending it never happened.” My eyes searched his for anything, but they were unreadable as usual.

“Miss Knight,” Dr. Crane spoke. “I’d like to show you something.” His eyes remained locked on mine and I was unsure of how to respond. He stood up, watching me all the while as he made his way to a cabinet to the left of his desk.

“Dr. Crane,” I stood up. “I will not be lied to. I don’t care if you’re trying to hide some company-related issue, that’s fine but I’m a part of this company. I’d like to be, anyways. I don’t think I can accept this job if you’re not going to trust me.” I was close to him again, maybe a foot away. He had slightly turned to look at me, his blue eyes holding something that I couldn’t exactly place. I didn’t know what overcame me. I had always been a quiet person, always keeping to myself. Something was different though.

He turned fully so that we were parallel from each other. “So, will you trust me?” I pressed.

“You have scratches on your face.” His hand reached out to touch the one on my cheek. Surprisingly, his touch was gentle and I was tempted to close my eyes. Somehow I resisted that temptation and continued staring at him. “You made these yourself?” He asked.

“When I’m afraid,” I answered.

“When are you afraid?” His hand was still on my cheek.

“All the time,” I closed my eyes, unable to resist any longer. His hand slid up higher so that it was touching the first part of my hairline and I felt goose bumps crawling up my spine. Then his lips were on mine, as gentle as his touch. He was pushing me into the counter and I found myself wrapping my arms around his neck.

I felt dizzy, but other than that I didn’t know exactly what I was feeling. I just knew that I wanted more and that he wasn’t close enough to me and I didn’t want this to end. His lips were becoming more intense on mine and I was having trouble breathing.

“Dr. Crane,” a steady voice called from the hallway. Dr. Crane and I continued kissing and when he raised his head, I grunted in disproval.

“Yes?” He asked, obviously out of breath himself.

“You’re needed in Patient Observation.”

“I’ll be there in a minute.” He answered. His eyes found mine and he slowly backed away. “I’ll be back in a moment.”

“I’m coming with you,” I answered. Surprisingly, Dr. Crane nodded and everything was silent. I so badly wanted to put my arms around him again. I just wanted to be close to him. He picked up his suitcase and stepped to the door, pushing it open for me to exit. When I passed by him, for a moment we just stared at each other. Then I continued out into the hallway, not exactly knowing the person who walked into Dr. Crane’s office before.