When You Got a Good Thing

[Sadie's POV – Dec. 5th, 2010 6:37 PM]
Brian and I got back to Lena's house sort of late (according to her). After our excursion of fun in the backseat of my car, and after visiting the barn, we went to visit a very dear friend of mine, Lottie. I hadn't seen Lottie in a few months, she'd been busy with her new boyfriend Ezra, settling into their new apartment and him going on tour with his band (he's in the band Vampire Weekend). I introduced Brian, and we chatted for a while over some wine...a step for Lottie as she wasn't much of a drinker to begin with. She said she would stop by to see me before I leave for California.

I had begun to pack my stuff. Plenty of skinny jeans, some bands t-shirts, v-neck shirts, sweatshirts, a few pairs of shoes, rings and necklaces that I liked to wear, and of course underwear. As I packed up my things, I heard footsteps and then the patter of nails on the doorframe. I turned to see Zacky, leaning against it, a small smirk spread across his lips.

"Hi Sadie…I see you're putting underwear in there." Bouncing off the frame, he walked slowly over to the bed, where I had the suitcase open.

"Yeah…so?" I gave him a puzzled look, but when back to throwing clothes into the bag.

"Well…I was just wondering…do you wear thongs?" I stopped and glared at him, my gaze questioning his.

"Um..Zack?" He pulled something out of his back pocket, which I recognized to be the Vengeance University V-String.

"Well…I was gonna give it to Lena, but she doesn't seem like that kind of girl. And I figured since you were coming back with us, we'd need to deck you out in VU merch." I laughed at his comment about Lena.

"You'd be surprised about Lena. She's been with a lot of guys. A lot of bad relationships. Not a lot of people expect it though, because she looks all cute and innocent on the outside."

"You aren't exactly a princess, miss sailor mouth!"

"No, but I've been like that since I was thirteen. Lena hasn't. My brother and I got into all sorts of trouble with our friends and we never got caught."

"Really? Like what kind of trouble?"

"Stupid stuff. Like my old boyfriend was a big time smoker, and he never had money for cigarettes, so he would steal them. He drank a lot too, once we got into high school."

"Oh? So you have had a boyfriend? Before Bri, I mean." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Memories of him flooded back, but I brushed it off and tried not to think about him.

"Never said I didn't Mr. Vee." Zack flopped back on the bed, hands behind his head on the pillow.

"Well from what Brian told me, he made it sound like you were a virgin." I stayed silent for a moment, grabbing one more tank top out of the drawers. He gasped at my silence.

"Were you? Oh my god! Brian was your first time!? You lucky bitch!"

"How many girls have had their virginity taken by Brian, huh? I bet I'm not the first one. And it wasn't technically my first time."

"What? What do you mean?" He sat up, watching me zip up the bag and put it on the floor.

"My old boyfriend and I used to fool around. It almost happened a few times, but it just…didn't."

"Well…then it doesn't count. Brian counts. But I'm still surprised. You really waited for that special someone then."

"I did. And I'm proud of myself for it. If Brian is that special someone, that is."

"Are you questioning your future with him?"

"Maybe…I don't know. I mean we're not even a month into this relationship, so I don't want to expect anything yet." I flopped on the bed next to Zack. He put his arm around me.

"Good point…so…Brian was your first fuck. Wow. I'm a little jealous." I fell back against the mattress, laughing hysterically.

"Zack…you….can't…say…shit….like….that!" I said between breaths. He chuckled heartily.

"I'm kidding! But seriously. Lucky you. Brian is…pretty damn good in bed, from what I've heard."

Once I calmed down, taking a deep breath, I stood and went to walk out of the room, but I turned.

"Yeah, he was pretty good." Zacky laughed at my comment.

"I bet he was more than 'pretty good' I'm sure he was beyond unbelievable." He yelled after me.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~
[Brian's POV – Dec. 7th, 2010 8:00 P.M.]
Lena had made a great dinner and we all took up residence in the living room, around the TV. As always there was nothing on.

I observed Zack, turned around, toward the kitchen.

"What are you looking at?" I asked quietly, hoping not to disturb the rest of the guys.

"Sadie. She's been talking to Lena ever since we finished dinner. Didn't you notice how quiet she was?"

"No I guess I didn't. Is she okay?"

"Go ask her yourself. You are her boyfriend." Zack replied, a bite of annoyance in his words. He turned back to the television and wore a bored expression, folding his arms across his chest. I stood and walked out to the kitchen. Lena stiffened.

"I'll uh…leave you two alone." She scurried away, no doubt to find her laptop.

"Sadie are you okay?" She turned her face away, surely hoping I wouldn't see that her eyes were a bit red.

"Sadie, please. Tell me what's wrong. I want to help you." I placed my hands firmly on her hips, hinting to her that I wasn't going away until she told me what was bothering her. She moved closer, winding her arms around me, holding on tight.

"I keep saying I don't want my past to come up but it does. It keeps rearing it's ugly head and I want it to stop." I could tell she was fighting back tears. I felt terrible for continuing to bring it up, but I wanted to know.

"I can't help if you can't tell me the details."

"I know, but it is so hard. I have no clue even where to begin."

"Why don't we go upstairs and talk?" I asked. She nodded and we quietly retreated to the bedroom.

I pulled her into my lap as we settled on the bed. I pushed her hair behind her back, laying my warm hands on her neck.

"Sadie…" We sat silent for a moment, the only sounds in the air, our heartbeats and breathing. "What did you mean the other day when you said 'It's complicated'."

She took a deep breath, in an effort to calm herself and began to explain.

"Okay. This is hard for me. But…I need to start telling you what's going on. I really do. So promise me that you'll just…listen and not judge. Even though I don't agree with some things my father has done over the years, he's still my father and I still love him."

"Alright. I promise." I said and leaned her and I back against the pillows.

"So what's the problem with your dad. Why don't you keep your horses at his barn?"

"Well…first of all, the barn that he has…it's a racing barn, so my horses wouldn't fit in. I also don't like the horse racing community too much. It's full of liars and cheaters. I worked as an exercise rider for one summer and saw a lot of things that I wish I hadn't."

I really didn't know what went into the behind the scenes work of horse racing. I'd gambled on races a few times, but never really understood or cared about the animals themselves. Now that I hear her say this though, next time I'll think twice before even going down to the track.

"Okay so I get that. But what's the problem with your dad?"

"My dad bought me a horse when I was in high school. He was this big beautiful stallion named Storm. He was the father of the Stormy that I have now." I nodded, allowing her to continue.

"Everything was going well. I was showing him and winning and my dad was so proud of me. But then I went to college. My dad asked me if someone else could compete on Storm while I was away. Of course I said yes, because I wanted him to continue to show and win. So the girl was doing important shows with him. Like, national shows. Jumping huge jumps." She sighed and I saw tears begin to form in her eyes again. I had a feeling I knew what was coming next.

"So…she went with my dad to a show and she got on and went in the ring. Storm was going so well, jumping every jump perfectly and they were doing so good time-wise. They were ahead of every one else and it looked like they were going to win. The last fence came up too quick though. Whether the girl wasn't paying attention or what, I didn't know, but she pushed him to the jump when she shouldn't have." She began sobbing softly and buried her face in my chest. I kept her close, waiting until she calmed down enough to speak again. It took her a few minutes. I wiped tears from her cheeks and kissed the top of her head.

"You don't have to say anymore, baby."

"No. I do. I'm not finished."

"Are you sure?" Sadie released the death grip she had on me. She rolled onto the sheets next to me. I propped myself up on an elbow and spread my hand across her stomach.

"Yes. Really…I'm okay." She brushed tears away again and continued. "Stormy fell on the jump. There was a brick filler underneath it. He broke both of his front legs, but they didn't know that at the time. They had to sedate him to get him to the equine hospital to take x-rays and assess the damage. The vets told my father and he immediately said 'Put him down.' So they did. My father…didn't…even…tell…me. He just…made the decision. I mean, I didn't want Stormy to suffer, but he waited until I got home from college to even let me know that my horse was dead! Two months! Two fucking months he waited before telling me what happened to my horse. That horse was like my best friend and I didn't even get to say goodbye!" She sank into a fit of sobs again. I wrapped my arms around her, letting her know I was there and I wasn't letting go.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry." Her body shook against mine and I could do nothing but cradle her there. It made me think of Jimmy. I couldn't imagine finding out two months later that my best friend had died. It was hard enough to find out the next day.

Sadie sat up, placing her hands in her lap. It felt like something else was bothering her.

"Sadie. What else?"

"I'll tell you another time. It's too much right now."

"So…I have a question. You said Storm, the one you have now, is going to stay at your dad's farm. Why would you do that when you don't like the farm?"

"My friend Jaylen works there too. Jaylen is the one one I really trust with Storm and he lives on the property."

"Oh…okay. Gotcha." I gently pulled her back down and she rested her head on my chest.

"I understand what it feels like to lose someone. You know that. And you know I'm here for you. I'm never leaving."