I Need a Second to Breathe

It all started with the excuse of having to work late. Next came the unknown numbers on the phone bill and then the smell of cheap knock-off Chanel perfume on his clothing. It didn’t take a scientist to notice that all of the signs were there, but Allison just couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that the man she planned on marrying was sneaking around with other women behind her back.

She had seen firsthand what adultery can do to a relationship. Her own mother fell victim to this years ago when her father ran away with his secretary, leaving Allison to deal with the aftermath of it all. She had to endure the fighting, the screaming matches, the slamming of doors, the sounds of family picture frames shattering to pieces, the uncontrollable sobs of her mother…all of it. She watched her parents’ marriage self-destruct and she vowed to never let herself fall apart so easily because of some guy. But Allison never realized how hard it would truly be to keep herself together in a situation like this. Just like her mother, she began to question her entire relationship with Evan. They were set to marry in only a few months and she knew that there was no chance of her even making it down the aisle considering the fact that she was completely sure that her fiancé was being unfaithful.

Day in and day out, for the past two months, Allison pondered whether or not she should just end things with Evan and put an end to all of her misery and heartache. She thought so many times about just packing her things and leaving their quaint little apartment for good, without even so much as a simple goodbye. But one thing always stood in her way from leaving: her love for Evan. Allison was such a passive person and she didn’t have the courage to outright walk away from a man whom she felt and cared so deeply for.

It was on a dreary Saturday morning, however, that this passive girl suddenly gained all of the courage in the world. Evan had yet again come home late the night before and noticeably smelled like he had been with another woman. The overpowering smell of perfume that she had taken notice of time and time again, a perfume that obviously wasn’t his own, clearly gave Allison the impression that he wasn’t alone at the office last night like he said he would be.

Allison woke up that cold, rainy Saturday morning more determined than ever. She got herself ready for the day, going through the same routine she had set up for herself since she moved in with Evan. She went into the kitchen after getting dressed and began to prepare breakfast for both herself and her still sleeping fiancé. Veering off from the normal Saturday breakfast of eggs and hash browns, Allison decided to make chocolate chip pancakes. For the last seven months she had made the same thing, gone through the same routine, but today was different. In the middle of cooking she heard the shower start and knew that Evan was finally awake. Just as she finished putting the pancakes onto a paper plate, Evan emerged from the bedroom and smiled at the sight of food. He walked directly to Allison and stood behind her. He put his arms around her waist, leaned his head over her shoulder and placed his lips against her cheek.

“Pancakes this morning? What did I do to deserve such a lovely treat?” he murmured softly into the nape of her neck. He placed small kisses upon the side of her neck and failed to notice Allison grimace every time he did so. All she could think about was who his lips were attached to the night before and how many other girls he had kissed upon the very same place. Evan slowly retracted his arms from her waist and took his seat at the dining room table. Allison quickly followed behind him and placed the food on the already set table. The couple sat in silence as they ate and Allison did everything she could to keep her mouth shut until they were both finished with their morning meal. Once Evan finished off his orange juice he stood from his chair and walked into the small, cramped kitchen. Allison saw this as her chance to finally get answers and jumped up from her seat with her plate in hand. As she entered the kitchen, she went straight for the trashcan and dumped the remaining scraps from her breakfast. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Evan lean against the counter with a satisfied grin. She took a deep breath and turned around to face him, wanting nothing more than to wipe that smile off of his face. A million thoughts instantly ran through her mind, millions of things she was dying to ask him, but she settled on one simple question to say aloud. Evan was staring intently at her and she knew that this was her one and only opportunity to clear the air and get out what she needed to say. She was determined more than ever to get the answers that she felt she was entitled to know.

“Where were you last night Evan?” she calmly asked. She folded her arms over her chest as Evan scrunched his eyebrows together.

“I told you yesterday that I had to work late Al, so I was at the office.” Allison raised her eyebrows, challenging his answer.

“Alone?” she questioned. Evan reached up and scratched the back of his neck, a clear sign of nervousness.

“Uh, yeah. That’s how it usually is when I stay after hours,” he slowly answered, trying to be as convincing as possible. “What’s this all about babe?”

Allison shook her head, not buying into yet another one of his little lies.

“Why are you lying to me Evan?” she demanded harshly. Evan was quite taken aback by the sudden hostility Allison put forth.

“Why would I—” he began.

“You think I’m stupid?!” she hissed, interrupting him. “You think I didn’t notice the cheap perfume on your clothes last night? Or all of the random numbers that seem to keep showing up on the phone bill? I may be oblivious to a lot of things Evan, but I’m not a fucking idiot.”

Evan’s eyes widened and panic started to take over. He knew exactly what Allison was alluding to and he knew that she couldn’t be any more wrong with her assumptions.

“Al, baby, you’ve got it all wrong,” he tried to persuade, but Allison wouldn’t have any of it.

“Fuck you Evan!” she finally exploded, flailing her arms into the air. “I know damn well what’s going on! Late nights at work? Bull fucking shit. You’ve been out with other women…you’ve been cheating on me. The signs are all there!”

Evan let out a shaky breath and quickly shook his head. He knew that he had to come clean, seeing as his relationship pretty much depended on the truth at this point. Evan opened his mouth to confess, but much to his dismay Allison beat him to the punch.

“Out of all the people Evan, I never thought that you would do this to me. God I just—we’re supposed to get married! You put a ring on my finger and for what? If this ring is supposed to symbolize your commitment to me…then why the hell am I wearing it?” she hissed, sliding the diamond ring off of her finger and angrily slapping it down on the counter beside her. Tears clouded her eyes and slowly trickled down her cheeks. Evan immediately pushed himself off of the counter and advanced toward her but Allison quickly shot up her hand, silently telling him to stay away from her.

“Allison please just listen to me for a second,” he quietly pleaded. She slowly shook her head and adverted her gaze to the floor.

“I just don’t get it,” she helplessly whispered. “What’re we doing Evan? Why are we even together if you’re just gonna go out with other girls behind my back? I thought you would at least respect me enough to break up with me before you did anything remotely like that.”

Evan let out a heavy sigh and ran his hands through his semi-shaggy brown hair. Everything had gotten so blown out of proportion and it killed him to see the love of his life in tears because of him.

“Alli, look…I— fuck, I love you. You’ve got to believe me on this,” he desperately pleaded. Allison finally glanced up at him and caught his eye.

“Can I?” she retorted. “I don’t even know anymore. Evan why didn’t you just end this before you cheated? Why the hell did you string me along like this? What—what the hell do you want from me?”

More tears streamed down Allison’s face and Evan could no longer take it. He took a step forward, closing the gap between them, and reached up to cup Allison’s cheeks with the palm of his hands. He used his thumbs to wipe away her tears and slowly inched his body even closer to hers. Not once did Allison object because quite frankly she had given up on fighting. She knew at this point that it was a lost cause and she refused to look up at him. Evan took notice of this simply by her defeated posture and took one hand away from her cheek and put it under her chin. He slowly moved her head upwards until she made eye contact with him. He could see the pain and hurt in her eyes and that alone killed him.

“Nothing can ever be easy can it?” he muttered. “My god, I wish for once life could just be simple. Allison I swear on my life that I never cheated on you. I would never do something so low and despicable. I would never hurt you like that…ever.” Evan began and Allison braced herself for yet another lie. “Al, you’re right about two things. I haven’t been staying late at the office and I have been out with other women…but it’s not what you think at all.”

Allison rolled her eyes and tried to wiggle herself out of Evan’s grasp, but it was useless, seeing as it only made Evan grab her wrist so she couldn’t leave.

“Oh real— ”

“Let me finish,” he interjected, “I’ve spent the last two and a half months with a realtor. Alli, it was supposed to be a surprise, but I’ve been back and forth with owners of a house trying to make a deal. Pretty much every night after work I’ve been going to the realtors’ office, because that’s the only time I’ve had. Last night I signed the papers and bought the house by the lake that you’ve always talked about having.”

Evan reached into his pocket and pulled out the official title of ownership document and unfolded it. “I was going to surprise you tonight at dinner…” he murmured.

Allison looked at him skeptically and when her eyes landed on the paper in his hands she immediately felt foolish. Looking into Evan’s eyes she saw that there was so sign of deceit…but rather he was telling the honest to god truth. She instantly threw her arms around Evan’s neck and felt her cheeks heat up as it finally dawned on her that she had blown things way out of proportion.

“I—I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions Ev,” she mumbled into his shoulder. Evan placed his lips on top of her head and rubbed soothing circles on her back.

“Don’t be sorry Al,” he began. “I shouldn’t have been so sneaky about it. The one time I try to do something romantic and surprise you and it totally backfires in my face.” He leaned back and held Allison at a distance. She looked up into his eyes and gazed at the man she loved.

“I love you Evan,” she said softly. Evan grinned and reached around her, grabbing her engagement ring off of the counter, and held it in front of her.

“Will you please put this back on?”

Allison grinned and watched as Evan slid the ring back onto the finger it belonged. After placing the ring on her finger he leaned down towards Allison, crashing his lips against hers. Their lips slowly moved together in sync as the kiss became more passionate. It seemed as though minutes had passed before a breathless Allison suddenly pulled away from Evan gasping for air. As she leaned her forehead against his he furrowed his eyebrows together with concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and she gave a low chuckle.

“I need a second to breathe,” she smiled, before eagerly attaching her lips to his once more. Allison felt him smirk against her lips and Evan slowly pulled away from her.

“What do you say we go check out our new home?” he said breathlessly. Allison bobbed her head up and down and quickly pecked his lips.

“I’d love that.”