Just a Girl

“Mom, why?” I asked.

“Because I said so.” She answered. But I know that’s just what all parents say when they don’t have an actual answer. We were moving and she wouldn’t tell me why. And knowing my mom, she probably didn’t know either.

It was just me and my mom in out house. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 14. So he moved to New Jersey to get away from us. And my brother, Josh, was away in California, like he planned to since he was about 16, and he eventually got a career in professional skating, so he’s pretty famous. But we don’t have the same last name, even though he is my real brother. Anyway, after California he moved do Portland, Oregon (the skate capital of the world).

I went to my room to start packing. I wondered how we were going to pack all of our stuff in two days. Maybe if we didn’t pack it all we would get to stay a little longer. I think I could live with that.

I started putting random stuff in random boxes. I am a messy and unorganized person. I don’t mind things being neat, but it doesn’t bother me when my room is messy.

I couldn’t believe that I only had two days to say goodbye to my friends. And say goodbye to the town I had grown up in.

After packing for a couple of hours I was exhausted. Slipping into my bed, I admired my work. My room was pretty bare. The walls that had once been covered in posters of my favorite bands and random doodles I made and turned out pretty cool looking, were now plain white with 100’s of holes from all the thumbtacks I used.

I was dreading tomorrow too. I would have to break the news to my friends.

***

My rude alarm clock blasted “We Are Broken” by Paramore, waking me up. I hit the snooze button and dragged myself out of bed. I brushed my light brown hair and put my nose ring into my right nostril. I don’t like to sleep with it in because it gets sorta crusty, and then its painful. I got my nose pierced on my 13th birthday…it’s just a part of me and my personality. A lot of people judge me for it, but if they are going to judge me because of the way I look, and not my personality, then I really don‘t want them as a friend.

On my way out the door I grabbed one of my mom’s waffles. They taste like feet but I just needed to grab something and go because I was running late.

My friend Ryan that drives me to school every day was outside honking his horn. I walked outside and stepped inside his grey S.U.V.

“Whatcha got there?” He asked pointing at my waffle.

“A waffle.” I said. “Do you want it?” I asked waving it in his face.

“Um…yeah!” He said in a “duh” tone.

I gave it to him and he took a bite.

“Not bad.” He said, wolfing the rest down.

We drove off arriving at school about 15 minutes later.

***

I grabbed an apple and a can of coke and placed them on my tray.

I sat down at my usual table with all my friends. They chattered and chattered and I just stared at my apple, not really wanting to tell them what I needed to tell them. So I decided to just get it over with.

“I’m moving.” I burst out.

Everyone stopped their conversations and turned to look at me.

“Seriously?” Ashley asked, looking concerned.

“Seriously.” I answered back.

“Poor Cara.” Cheyenne sympathized.

“Where are you moving to?” Asked Nate.

It struck me then. I wasn’t really sure.

“I don’t know.” I mumbled.

“Aw!” Ryan said. “So you might not even go to this school anymore!” He added.

“Yeah…” I said, trailing off in thought.

“This must be scaring you…no wonder you’re so pale!” Ashley chimed in again.

“No, she’s just normally like that.” Ryan said.

“Hey!” I said, slapping Ryan. But it was true. I am very pale. It’s an Irish thing.

The rest of lunch slipped away pretty quickly knowing this may be the last time I ever see my friends. And tomorrow I would be spending the whole day packing.

***

I woke up to giggles all around me. I sat up rubbing an eye and slowly all my friends came into focus. They were standing around my bed with mischievous smiles.

“What are you doing here?” I said in a scratchy voice.

“We are here to help you pack and see you one last time.” Ashley said in an a enthusiastic voice. Ugh, too early in the morning for that kind of enthusiasm.

“Okay…” I said getting up and tumbling right into Nate. I covered it up with a hug, but I still think he knew I had stumbled like the klutz I was. He hugged me back and then steadied me.

“I can’t believe this is it.” Cheyenne said and then faked sniffled.

“Me either.” I said. “At least you guys will have each other. I’m gonna have to make new friends.” I sighed.

“Aw.” Ryan said. “You can always call or text us if you don’t make any friends and become a lonely loser.” He chuckled.

I went to smack his head but he caught my hand and held it for a second. Then he stared at it. As I was wondering what he was doing, he quickly brought it up to his mouth and licked it. He then let go and I wiped my hand on my plaid pajama pants.

“Gross!” I shouted, disgusted. “I don’t know where that mouth has been!” I said. Then I saw everyone’s wiggling eyebrows and I realized how wrong that could be taken.

Ryan just pouted. He was such a weirdo sometimes…

“Ok so get dressed and we will meet you downstairs. Just tell us what to do.” Cheyenne told me.

We packed boxes all day, without the help of my mom. She was finalizing some stuff, or that’s what she told me. She also told me where we were moving. It was this small town in Michigan called Brooklyn. I was actually excited about it because we lived there when I was little, but my parents decided we needed to move and I was abruptly ripped from my friends and the town I have become so used to and attached to. I had grown up in Brooklyn. Well sort of. We moved when I was 9.

We were now putting them on the U-Hal and everyone was sweating from working all day. We were almost done now, we packed everything and just had a few more boxes to put on the moving truck.

I picked up the box with my lamp and most of my clothes in it. As I was walking I noticed the box was a little too heavy and started slipping. I tried to put it down, and get one of the guys to take it, but it was too late. It slipped and the edge of the cardboard slashed my hand open. The box dropped to the floor with a loud crash and everyone came rushing in trying to see what was the matter. I just clutched my hand to my stomach.

Nate was the first one at my side.

“What happened?” He asked eyeing my hand.

“The box slipped and cut my hand.” I said holding back a cry of pain.

“Let me see,” Nate said in a stern voice.

I unstuck my bloody hand from my shirt. He took it in his and examined it for a second. Then he let go, letting it drop to my side.

“We’re gonna need to clean that.” He said gesturing towards my hand.

I shook my head. “No, it’s gonna hurt.” I whined.

“Cara, don’t make me take extreme measures,” he warned.

I put my uninjured hand on my hip. “Try me.” I sassed.

He came toward me in a fast, swift motion, knocking my legs from under me and then catching me so I was sitting princess style in his arms. He smirked at me. I crossed my arms. Not fair. He used his strength against me. Although, when did he not.

I guess I was getting my hand cleaned. I cringed at the thought of peroxide in my cut.

Nate carried me into the bathroom, with Ashley following, and set me on the counter. Then he went to get the first-aid kit out. I was contemplating whether I should try to make an escape or not. I decided it wasn’t a good idea with Ashley standing right there.

Nate came back over with the first aid kit in his hand. He situated himself right next to my legs. He set the first-aid kit next to me on the counter. He opened it up and grabbed out the peroxide, a cotton ball, and the gauze.

He poured a little peroxide on the cotton ball. He looked up at me with amusement.

“Brace yourself.” He told me.

I shut my eyes tightly and felt pressure in the palm of my hand, and then a sting. I inhaled a sharp breath. Then the stinging started to fade. I opened my eyes and Nate’s blue ones were staring at me, still with an amused look.

“That wasn’t so bad, now was it?” He asked.

“No, it was pretty bad.” I replied.

He playfully rolled his eyes.

He took the gauze off the counter and started wrapping my hand. Then he fastened it with a…fastener. Yeah, I know that’s a little redundant.

“Thanks,” I said.

“My pleasure.” He replied.

“I’m sure it was.” I mumbled.

With that I hopped off the counter and went into the living room. Ryan and Cheyenne were sitting on the floor. Well actually, Ryan and sitting, Cheyenne was laying with her head in Ryan’s lap and he was playing with her hair. She was giggling and he was staring down at her as if she were the most precious thing in the world. Aw, they’re so cute together. If only they would realize it.

They must not have realized I was there, because when I took another step they jumped. Both of them blushed a deep shade of red. I pretended not to notice.

“Oh hey guys.” I said nonchalantly.

“We got the rest of the stuff on the truck.”

“You guys are the best,” I replied with a huge smile.

“Eh, what can I say…” Ryan chuckled.

My stomach grumbled and I realized I hadn’t eaten anything all day, and my friends probably hadn’t either.

“You guys hungry?” I asked everyone.

I got a mixture of “yeah’s” and “mhm’s” from my friends.

“How about we go to McDonald’s, my treat.”

“Okay.” Everyone replied in unison.

“Midnight food runs are the best.” Nate sighed.

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Who’s driving?” I asked.

“I will.” Ryan volunteered.

“ I call shot gun!” Cheyenne announced.

Of course she did. She wanted to be next to Ryan.

Everyone got their jackets on and headed outside to Ryan’s S.U.V. I was the first one out the door followed by Ashley, then Nate, then Ryan and Cheyenne. The cold winter air practically slapped me in my face.

I took the first step off the porch and immediately went flying. My face was coming closer to the ground. I braced myself for the pain. My face was about a foot away from the ground when a pair of hand caught me by the waist and brought me back to my standing position. I turned around to come face to face with Nate, who was smirking at me with his hands still on my waist.

“Thanks.” I mumbled.

“Well we don’t want you any more hurt than you already are, now do we?” He asked, rhetorically.

“You can let go now.” I said, eyeing his hands on my waist.

“I could, but I don’t trust you not to slip on the ice again.” He replied with a smug look on his face.

“Fine,” I grumbled.

Nate and I carefully made our way over the icy driveway to Ryan’s truck. We had to wait for him to unlock the car for us to get in. I just wanted him to hurry up with it already so Nate would just leave me alone. I mean, maybe he was just trying to be a good friend, but maybe he was just being a guy.

Ryan finally got his car unlocked so I opened my door, stepped on the running board, and slipped, getting a face full of seat. I adjusted myself and sat in the seat embarrassed. Nate eyed me with a mocking look then slid in next to me followed by Ashley.

Ryan and Cheyenne both sat in the front. He reminded me a lot of my brother. Never letting anyone drive his beloved truck.

I tapped on Ryan’s shoulder from behind. He looked back at me.

“Can you please turn the heat on?” I asked nicely.

“Well I can, but it will come out cold first. And it’s only a short drive to McDonalds, so it won’t be any warmer by the time we get there. If anything it will be colder. So do you really want me to turn it on?” He asked.

“No.” I mumbled.

“Don’t worry Cara. I’ll keep you warm.” Nate said, scooting closer to me.

I looked out the window trying not to show my disgust toward Nate. Instead I watched the snow flurry around the truck. The Christmas lights were so pretty too, especially in the dark night.

I remember when I was little me and my brother used to decorate our tree together. We had boxes of candy canes and ornaments that we would put on the tree. When we were done our parents would see it but not look twice. It was just sort of there. They were never traditional or sentimental people.

I was abruptly ripped out of my thoughts when I heard the clicking of seatbelts. I looked around and realized we had reached our destination and everyone was getting out of the car.

I fumbled with my seatbelt until I finally got it unlocked and got out of the car. I quickly ran after my friends. I caught up with them and we entered the warmth of the building. I immediately got goose bumps when the warm air engulfed my body.

My friends and I ordered our food quickly. I was reaching into my wallet once the cashier announced the total when suddenly it was taken from me. I looked over to see Nate had it in his hand, and then hand it off to Ashley.

“What are you doing?” I asked. I could see the teenage girl behind the counter was getting annoyed.

“I’m paying. It’s the least I could do.” He replied.

“No, I promised I would pay, now let me pay!” I demanded.

“Wow, you’re arguing about him paying for our food?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, I am. Nate worked hard for his money and he doesn’t need to be spending it on me. I don’t care if he pays for your food, but he won’t pay for mine.” I replied, squinting at him. Me and my mom have always been prideful people. We never accepted things like that. That’s the way I was raised. And I would stick to it.

“But he offered.” Ryan countered.

“But I-”

“Shut up and have your wallet back.” Nate said handing me my wallet back. “I already paid.”

“You butt!” I said punching his arm. He didn’t even flinch.

“Would you just be quiet, if you’re that mad about it, then think of it as an early birthday present.” Nate said.

“But my birthday is in 11 months!” I replied. “And don’t even think about getting me anything for my birthday.”

“Don’t count on it.” He smirked.

“Oh my gosh you guys. Can you please stop flirting so we can go eat?” Ashley butted in.

“I wasn’t flirting.” I replied, blushing at the thought.

“Yeah, and I’m the queen of England!” Cheyenne said.

“There is nothing going on between Nate and I.” I replied, wishing they’d drop the subject.

“Whatever, let’s eat. I’m hungry.” Ryan said, saving me.

We headed to a booth with cushy seats. I slid in first and then guess who followed. Yes, it was Nate. Then on the other side was Ryan and Cheyenne. Real shocker, I know.

Ashley was looking sad.

“Well, where do I sit?” She asked.

Nate scooted over closer to me, squishing me into the wall. He patted the spot next to him.

“Right here.” He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes.

“Dick.” I muttered under my breath, so only Nate could hear it. I saw him smirk out of th corner of my eye.

I looked up and the tray of food was on our table. Apparently Ryan had gotten it while I wasn’t looking. Everyone took their food except for me. I wouldn’t give Nate the satisfaction of eating the food he bought me.

Everyone was unwrapping their food and eating it quite slowly.

“What are you guys doing?” I asked.

“We are prolonging our time with you. This is our last time seeing you.” Ashley explained.

“Well I’ll come and visit.” I promised. “Brooklyn is only about an hour from here.”

I saw everyone smile.

“Really?” Cheyenne asked.

“Yep.” I replied.

“You promise?” Ryan asked.

“I promise.”

Nate leaned over and half hugged me, well as much as the tiny space would allow. “It just won’t be the same.” He fake sobbed.

I peeled his hand from my shoulder. “Oh, don’t worry.” I said reassuringly. “You can text and call me as much as you guys want.” I said, flashing a smile.

We spent the rest of our time eating and remember old, good times we had together. The nostalgia was almost so think I couldn’t breathe. I felt like crying. I had felt like this when we were moving from Brooklyn to here. Now we were moving back. I was happy about that, and the fact that I might even be able to become friends with the people who had once adored me when I lived there. But I was sad because I would miss my friends here.

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. I was royally screwed.

***

We arrived back in my driveway. I was trying not to cry as I said goodbye to my friends.

“Goodbye Ryan.” I said as he pulled me into a warm embrace.

“Goodbye Cara.” He said. “I’ll miss you.”

Cheyenne was next.

I hugged her and said goodbye, then Ashley.

Last was Nate. I looked over at him before he came over to me.

He turned to our friends and said “Can Cara and I have moment alone?”

Everyone nodded and went inside Ryan’s truck.

I sighed and turned back to Nate. “Goodbye friend.” I said.

“Wait, before you leave I want to give you something.” He continued.

I nodded, showing him I wanted him to go on.

He leaned really close to my face. I was afraid of what he would do. Then all of the sudden he took a box out of his pocket and handed it to me.

I opened it and it was the most beautiful necklace I had ever seen. I gaped at it.

“Nate I can’t accept this.” I said.

“Sure you can. It’s an early Christmas present.” He replied easily.

“But-”

“But nothing. I wish you would just accept this one thing. Please? Christmas is coming up.” He pleaded.

“Fine…” I sighed.

“Here let me put it on you.” He said reaching for the box and taking the necklace out.

I lifted my long hair up and he clasped the necklace around my neck.

“Thanks.” I replied. I was just in awe. I had never received anything so beautiful, not even from past boyfriends (because I never had any).

“You’re welcome.” He replied. Then he pulled me into a bear hug and I hugged him back equally tight.

When he pulled away my whole front was cold from where his chest was pressed against mine.

“You should probably go now.” I said. A single tear escaped down my cheek.

Nate wiped it away with his thumb and then turned away, getting into the car. My friends waved and then Ryan took off. I watched as my friends disappeared down the road, taking part of me with them.

I just had this sick, uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. What if no one at my old school remembers me? What if no one likes me and I end up being an outcast. I mean I like to think I can go on without caring what people think, but I still want to have friends!

I sucked it up and called my mom. She had been gone all day. I wasn’t sure if I should be worried or mad. I went to my contacts and hit call.

It rang a few times before she picked up.

“Hello.” She said.

“Hi mom.” I replied. “Where are you?” I asked.

“I am in the car on my way home actually.”

“Oh, well where have you been all day?” I asked.

“Honey, it’s illegal to talk and drive at the same time. So I have to go, bye.” She replied. Just like my mother to dodge the question. I chuckled to myself and sat on the porch. I was actually sort of enjoying the cold. It felt pretty good with the wind blowing through my hair.

I looked down at the necklace that was around my neck. It was a silver locket with a diamond in the middle on the front. I opened it, expecting to find one of those model couples who have everything they could ever want and are pretending the are madly in love. But no, that’s not what I found. It was a tiny picture of me and Nate from when we into one of those photo booth things. It was from almost 2 years ago. I can’t believe he kept those all this time.

*Flashback*

“Hey Cara, look, it’s a photo booth!” Nate said excitedly.

“Yeah, so?” I asked.

“So lets go in it. We can take some pictures and keep them forever.” He replied.

“I doubt that.” I said.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” He said, still excited. I don’t know what this kid ate today, but I’m guessing it had to be 5 jumbo-sized Pixie Sticks, followed by 2 Big Gulps.

“I don’t think so. I really don’t feel like have my picture taken.” I replied.

“Well too bad.” He said, grabbing my wrist and dragging me into the photo booth and closing the curtain.

I wasn’t having a very good time at the mall with Nate, being dragged around and all that and now we were in a photo booth getting our pictures taken and I looked like a mess. Of course he had to pick today to hang out at the mall. Boys. I internally rolled my eyes.

“Just 5 pictures okay?” He asked.

“Fine.” I said. “But I’m not smiling, just so you know.” I said stubbornly.

“Oh yes you will.” Nate said, smirking. With that he pushed the button and the screen gave us a count down. I was trying to keep a straight face. But Nate started tickling me and I couldn’t control my laughter. As soon as I started laughing the pictures started being taken. The booth was flashing like crazy. Once it stopped flashing Nate and I stepped out to get our pictures. I glared at them. My hair was a mess, and I had a really weird look on my face from laughing.

*End of Flashback*

Another tear formed in my eye and I blinked it out. It rolled down my cheek, down to my chin, and then dropping off and splashing on my leg.

I was taken out of my thoughts when my mother pulled into the driveway.

I looked back at my house. My stomach twisted even more. I really didn’t want to leave. My mom opened her car and walked over to me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Ready?” She asked.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I mumbled.

“Well lets go.” She replied.

“Wait. Who Is driving the U-Haul?” I asked.

“Me.” My mom said, poking her hest with her thumb. “You can drive the truck.”

“Okay.” I sighed. “I’ll follow you.” My mom tossed me the keys and I caught them.

My mom and I stepped into our designated vehicles. I turned on the truck with a roar.

I let my mom pull out of the driveway first. Then I pulled out after her. I wasn’t sure I was ready to embark on this journey, but I pulled myself together and turned the radio, trying to calm the twisting in my stomach.

Let’s look on the bright side. I would get to see some of my old friends. That would be good right? 'Just breath Cara, you’ll be fine' I told myself.