The Portal Of No Return

Bam
I bang on the snooze button of the alarm clock that was annoying me. I lay in bed for a while on my belly, and groan for today is going to be torturous.
I get the privilege of going over to my grandmother's house and cleaning her basement.
Who knows how long it's been since someone has been down there.

I turned thirty-two years old only a few weeks ago, and I already feel like I need early retirement. Whining I make my way out of bed, and off to the washroom to clean myself up. Brush my teeth, hair, etctera..

Since I will be most likely be getting very dirty, I decided to put on some loose fit boyfriend jeans and a plain black t-shirt. I pulled my hair back into a high pony tail, and covered my head with a red bandana.

Making my way down stairs I made my way to the kitchen, I expected to see my husband Fabian there, with a kiss ready and some breakfast. That's how it usually was, I would come down stairs and he would always be here to greet me, and have breakfast ready.

As I stood near the counter, the same thought entered my mind, the same thought that has been crossing my mind for a year now,


He passed away a year ago, he stopped giving me kisses a year ago, he stopped telling me he loved me a year ago, worst of all he left me here all alone a year ago.

Most people don't believe in love, but I knew and believed in my heart that Fabian was my soul mate.

He was the one I was supposed to grow old with, and have a lot of babies to raise them together, and for our bond to grow stronger with every passing day.

But he wasn't here, he was gone, and in a way so was I. that day the phone call came my heart stopped beating, just like his had. He died of pulmonary disease, he was to young only thirty-four. What hurts the most is that I wasn't there in the hospital with him. I never got to at least tell him one last time that I loved him, sometimes I wish I could go back.

I shook my head of all these memories of Fabian that were beginning to cloud my mind.

I made my way out the house grabbed my car keys, and with one last look to the kitchen, stepped out of the house.

The drive to my grandmother's house took little over a half hour, when I got there I put my car in park, and tried to prepare myself mentally and physically for what I was about to do.Now my grandmother's basement is no joke, it is the dirtiest, smelliest, crowded, awful place in her whole house.

"Hi grandma! I'm here!" I said while letting myself in.

"Oh Vivian dear! Your looking lovely, come and say hi to your grandfather." said my grandmother as she attacked me with a hug.

I followed her into the dining room where my grandfather was reading a fishing book.

"Marco! Look Vivian has come to clean the basement!" she said and walked closer to him and said,

"Don't mention F-A-B-I-A-N ok." she said in a not so low voice, why she thought I couldn't spell was beyond me, but she's old so I won't say anything.

My grandfather just nodded quickly then stood and turned to me,

"Oh my sweet Vivian! Come here give your old grandpa a hug." he said arms stretched out.

"Hey pa nice to see you." I said while hugging him.

"Vivian the cleaning tools are already down stairs in the basement, oh and dear whatever you do don't open the Scarlett painted door." she said.

I looked at her oddly, she was being mysterious, so I pursued the subject.

"Why not ?" I asked.

"Oh because, trust me dear you don't want to bother with that door." and she walked out.

I decided to let it go and get down to the basement and start the torture session.

First thing I was attacked by were spider webs, I cringed a little, I really hate spider.
Going down the stairs it was pretty dark, I searched for the light switch. Finally flipping it, I see many boxes, a couple of old car parts stacked, dirty windows and a lot of dust and the floor in need of some serious mopping.

First task I decided on was placing the boxes far away in a nice organized pile. After doing so I moved the car parts near the boxes and stacked them neatly as well. This only took about an hour, an hour and I was already feeling worn out.

I next decided to wipe the windows spotless, and when they were clean even a little more sunshine entered the dark basement.

But it was when I was sweeping the dust into a pile that I noticed something behind the boxes. As I got closer I noticed a color, a color different from the rest of the walls in the basement.

I used what strength I had a moved the boxes out of the way. And there it was, a small door, in height it probably reached my chest. This must be the door my grandmother told me to not open, there is no other doors down here.

She strictly told me not to open this door, but why not? What could be lurking back there that is so forbidden?

I am a thirty-two year old women I don't think there could be anything that could, poison my mind. Unless they have a dead body in there, that would be a little disturbing. Having your grandparents as killers? Yeah not so nice. Ignoring my grandmothers warning, since when do I listen anyway, I place my hand on the turn knob.

I slowly turn it and open the door, and what I see on the other side, makes my eyes widen and my jaw drop.

On the other side I see a portal, exactly like the ones they show in the movies. It's colors are magnificent, they range from green to purple to and electric blue. And this sphere of colors is just whirling around in a clockwise motion. I stand in awe for a few moments, for I have never seen anything quite like this.

"Step in at your own risk." I yell and slam the door quickly.

It spoke to me, the portal talked.
I stepped back away from it feeling quite terrified. I looked behind me towards the stairs to see if my grandparents had heard my scream, they never came down. I looked back towards the door, did they have some sort of secret life I didn't know about?

I mustered up some courage and opened the door again. I waited for it to speak again but it didn't, it just continued whirling and changing colors.

"Hello?" I said.

"To go back to the past you must step inside, but going back may be dangerous." it said. This thing was actually talking! I decided to respond to it,

"What do you mean dangerous? Go back, back to what? What are you like a time machine?" I said.
"To go back to the past you must step inside, but going back may be dangerous." it said the same thing again. Was that the only thing it was going to say? Most likely.

I took two small steps forward, on the third step I re-thought what it was saying and changed my mind, I didn't want to go back to the past, but before I could take that third step back I was sucked in.

It was like I was flying through light, everything was so bright, I was moving so fast that everything was just a blur, and I felt the skin on my cheeks fold back.



I land on my butt in a all white room, I stand up and dust myself off a little. I look around and only see white, white walls and white floor.

"Hello? Where am I?" I say aloud.

"Look to your left." comes a voice.

I obey and look to my left I see two doors appear out of no where, one is blue and the other is yellow.I take a few steps to my left and stand in front of the two doors. Before I can ask what this is all about,

"You must choose a door, only one door. The blue door will take you back to when you met Fabian. The yellow door will take you to when he was in the hospital on the day of his death. Choose one door Vivian, and choose wisely. Remember going to the past can be dangerous."

"Why dangerous?"

"You must choose one door, only one door-"

"Ok ok I get it." I interrupted before it could start over again, it was getting annoying.

Now I had a decision to make, if I chose the blue I would go back to when I met Fabian, I remember that day perfectly. I was at the beach jogging, when someone rammed into me and knocked me down. It was him, he was playing Frisbee with his little brother.

He fell right on top of me so when he got up he smothered me with apologies and kept checking my body for injuries.


I remember that day like it was yesterday, after the incident he offered to buy me lunch I accepted and the rest was history.

If I chose the yellow door, I would get to see him before he died. Finally say goodbye like I was suppose, have one last kiss. I made up my mind, so without further hesitation I went to open the yellow door.

Once again I felt myself become sucked into the door, and it felt like I was flying at the highest speed. Suddenly I felt myself become drowsy, and started dosing off till I felt my eye lids close.



I woke up and after blinking a couple of times I realized I was in the hospital. In a room to be exact on a chair in a very uncomfortable position. I stood up and stretched I felt so stiff.

And there he was, eyes open chest rising up and down slowly. One word went through my mind once I saw him, Fabian. He was looking at the ceiling, he looked terrible. His once sun kissed skin had become ivory pale. His eyes, his eyes looked as if he had smeared the darkest charcoal around them. His tender full lips now chapped and dry. I felt the tears slowly fall down my eyes, he looked like death itself, as if he had already died. If it wasn't for his chest rising I would have thought he was dead. I walked closer to him,

"Fabian," I whispered.

He didn't turn to look at me nor did he even acknowledge my presence. I reached to grab his hand, and to my surprise it was transparent. I couldn't hold his hand I couldn't hold it, this was ridiculous!

"Fabian please." I whispered.

He just stared at the ceiling as if he couldn't hear me or see me.

What kind of sick game was this?

The door opened and in came a nurse,

"Ok Fabian here's your lunch." she said while pushing a cart in, and setting it near his bed. She grabbed the bed control and rose him to a sitting position.

"Thanks Ms." he said in a very low voice, he sounded so drained.

"Ah Fabian is your wife going to be coming in today?" she said.

"No, Doctor told me I don't have long, so I told Vivian to go home for a few days that I would be fine. I know I lied but, honestly I don't want her to see me like this. I would probably disgust her, and I don't want to see her. It's too difficult,I'll be gone soon, and it's better that she doesn't see me like this." he said.

"No! Fabian! No! I love you!You don't disgust me! Fabian!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.

I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't touch my own husband, I couldn't tell him how much I love him. I felt my knees buckle and come in contact with the hard cold floor. No sooner I felt myself become drowsy but I didn't give in.

"You really love her." said the nurse.

And he said,

"More then she will ever know." And his heart rate began to slow down till it reached a straight line. And he was gone, he was actually gone. And I wanted to be here for this. I rose quickly and ran to him,

"Fabian! Come back! Please!" I tried to grab him, but I couldn't.

I walked away slowly,

"Now you may choose to go back home or go back to the beginning." came that retched voice.

"What does that mean? what beginning?" I yelled I was beginning to really hate that voice.

"You did this! This is all your fault!" I said dropping to the floor.

"You were warned, if you chose the yellow door it would bring you here. You chose this Vivian." said the voice it continued,

"Now you may choose to go back home or go back to the beginning." that voice was getting on my last nerve.

"The blue door will take you back home, and the yellow door will take you from here and back to the beginning when you and Fabian met, choose wisely."

I stood up and as always the two doors appeared out of no where on the wall. Should I go back to the beginning? It would mean that I would be with Fabian once again. But the outcome would be the same, wouldn't it?

I chose against the yellow door, I couldn't bare to loose him again, the pain is too much and I don't know if I would be able to handle it.So I opened the blue door and I saw the portal, I closed my eyes. My tears had dried a little, I took one deep breathe before stepping inside, and feeling myself be whisked away at intense speed into nothing.

When I woke up I was in the basement, once again. I stood up and the first thing I saw were my grandparents.

"You opened the door didn't you, after I clearly told you not to." said my grandma in a stern voice.

I just stood there, most likely with red rimmed eyes and a stuffy nose, with fresh tears falling.

"I shouldn't have went back, I should have stayed. He didn't want me to see him like that, he looked awful. And he's gone, he's really gone. I should have left things the way they were, it would have been better then having to go back and feel the way I do." I said, and without another word they left.

I should have stayed, I shouldn't have been stupid enough to think that going to see my husband die would make me feel better.


I made my way to leave when the door opened on it's own.

I turned and looked at it, the portal was there again.

"To go back to the beginning you must eneter now." it said.

"Why would I want to go back? He's going to die anyway." i said.

"You have the oppurtunity to change the outcome, To go back to the beginning you must enter now."

Change things?

"How?"

"You have the oppurtunity to-"

"Ok! I get it! " I said, with one more look to the basement door, I stepped in.

And flew away.