The Aftermath

I do not know how long I stayed on the ground in the park. I know I stayed a little longer, hoping the spirit from before would return. I was not done with him. I wanted more answers. I wanted to know how to set things right.

There had been a time when I wanted to know how to move on. The feeling was still there, the desire to, because it felt like something urgent. Something I had to do. But, even so, it was not even very high on my list anymore.

I mostly wanted to know how to make things right. How to make Gerard all right.

I pondered about what the spirit had told me as I slowly started walking towards my brother's apartment. It was not me who had unfinished business with the world, it was the world which had unfinished business with me. Or rather, I suspected, it was Gerard who had unfinished business with me.

I wondered what it could be. What could be so important to him that it prevented me from moving on? What was so important to him that it clearly prevented him from moving on, as well?

I did not resent him for keeping me Earth-bound. If anything quite the opposite. I wanted to stay near him, whether my soul or a higher power or whatever had deemed me ready to move on. I wanted to stay near him so badly. And I was thankful that he wanted me near, too, so much that it kept me here.

I was thankful, except the pain of the loss was slowly breaking him.

Sighing, I made a decision. I would find out what Gerard's unresolved business with me was. I would solve it. I would help him move on. And if that forced me to move on as well, I would pay that price however unwilling.

I would see Gerard happy again.

When I finally got to his apartment it was darkening outside. I had taken my time getting there, not quite ready to face the broken look in my brother's expression again. Moving up to his window with a few strong flaps of my wings, I found him sitting by the dinner table, stabbing at his food.

It took me a while to realise why the picture looked off to me; Gerard often seemed to lose his appetite nowadays. Eventually, I realised that it was the fork which bothered me. Or, rather, the fact that he was holding it in his left hand.

Looking a little closer on his right, I quickly understood why, though. I did not know what he had done to it, but it was clearly swollen, beginning black bruises spreading across his knuckles. I swallowed hard.

I should have known what had happened.

I should have been there when it happened.

I should have stopped it from happening.

At that last thought I cringed. How could I have? I could not do anything anymore. I could not interfere.

And suddenly something sparked in my memory. Twice over.

The ghost, the spirit, probably, in the church, whispering to Gerard that he could not interfere on a physical plane. I had chased him away and I had kept my brother warm for the night.

Then the spirit in the park, screaming at me to save the girl, again stressing how he could not interfere on a physical plane. And I had gone, I had caught her, I had gotten her safely to the ground.

The spirits I had met had gone on about their inability to interfere physically. I had interfered.

The thought was making my dizzy and I swayed on the slim windowsill. For an absurd moment I wanted to knock on the window, to tell Gerard to let me in so I could get a better seating while I thought this revelation over. I snickered at the ridiculousness of that idea, before pausing with withheld breath.

Physical interference?

Before I could think it over, before I could start thinking it was a bad idea, I knocked on the glass. Once. Twice. Gerard did not even blink.

I felt ridiculous, but for that I wanted to cry. Sniffling I squeezed my eyes shut for a long moment.

When I finally looked back up, my brother was looking out the window, his brow furrowed. This time I was not fooled, though. His eyes were very distant. It was easy enough to see that he was not looking at me but through me. I sighed.

Stretching my wings I glided the short way to his bedroom window, figuring he would have to go to bed soon. I nestled on the windowsill preparing to watch over him for another night.