Does Love Still Exist?

Sitting on the grass wearing a pair of soccer shorts and a running tank that has USA printed on it, Katrina watched as some of the girls that had made the cut for team USA practiced. Before coming back to New York, Katrina saw a doctor that had cleared her to rejoin the soccer world. Once back she saw her team doctor and then the doctor for the players on team USA. It was agreed that since the game was in New York, she would play in the friendly.

The practice had ended for her about ten minutes ago, but she stayed and watched the other girls continue on. By this time next week, she really hoped to be back full time. She missed playing the game that she loved so much. So many things in her life were changing now and she knew somethings just wouldn't ever be the same again.

Feeling the dry sweat on her forehead, Katrina got up and headed to her bag and went down the runway and to the locker room. Gathering her stuff up, she didn't bother to shower and change. Instead she just headed out and went home. Home to a big house where she and her two young sons lived. Where mail for her husband would come as well as phone calls.

When she found herself pregnant with Noah, she thought she'd be doing everything by herself, but Hank stepped up. He was there when she needed him the most. Things had been rocky between them and part of the reason was her hormones, but the other was the fact that she couldn't trust him, not in the way she needed to. The only difference now was that she had two kids. Not trusting Hank wasn't what she planned on, but she refused to allow him to hurt her and her family. She didn't think that he would hurt his sons, but the trust had been broken. It would take time for her to think about what it was that she wanted now.

Once she got home, Katrina walked inside and heard screaming and yelling. Dropping her bag by the stairs to remind herself to take it to the laundry room when she brought down the boys' laundry. Slipping off her flip flops, she walked towards the main room where she had heard the screaming and yelling coming from.

“Noah Alexander, what have I told you about using your out door voice when inside the house?”

“But Mommy....”

“No buts,” Katrina said. “Inside voice or you can go sit in the corner.”

“Mommy...” Noah starting whining as he stood up and walked over to where his mother was standing. “Hold me!”

“Noah, you are too big for mom to keep picking you up,” Katrina said leaning down and moving his hair from his eyes. “I think you need a haircut soon.”

“Kitty,” Hank said standing up with Kristopher in his arms. “Marc is going to come over and watch the kids tonight. I think it's time that we finally talk about everything.”

“Hank, I'm tired and-”

“He's coming either way,” Hank interrupted her. “So you can take a nap and then shower or go like that. Either one is fine by me.”

“Daddy says he gots a surprise for you!” Noah smiled, excitement in his voice.

“Did he tell you what it was?”

“Dinner!” Noah shouted.

Shaking her head, she looked over at Hank. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere nice,” he smiled. “There is a dress in our room for you to wear.”

“I'd rather just stay here.”

“And not talk about it?” he asked. “We've both avoided this for too long.”

Nodding in agreement, Katrina headed up stairs.

Taking her time in the shower, she got ready and put some thought into what she would wear. By the time she was finished getting ready, she headed downstairs. With her wallet under her arm she made her way down the stairs where she saw Marc holding Kristopher in his arms. She knew this dinner was important, not only for her sake of mind but her marriage as well. With smile that didn't reach her whole face she left the house with Hank, leaving her boys with Marc who she trusted fully with them.

“So how's Marc as a full time roommate?” Katrina asked, using the straw in her water to stir the ice around as they sat at the restaurant. “No problems?”

“I'd rather be at home with you and the boys.”

“No.”

“Kitty, I love you. I love the boys. I'm sorry for what happened with....” he trailed off knowing not to say her name.

Rubbing her head, she let out a long sigh. “I do love you Hank, but you cheated. It brought me back to the Olympics and that isn't a place I want to ever be again.”

“You won't because it won't happen again. You're everything I want.”

“You wouldn't have slept with her if that were true,” Katrina told him. “I'm always going to come second to her and that isn't fair to me or the boys.”

“I made a mistake Kitty, a stupid mistake. I don't want to lose you. Let me make it up to you,” Hank asked of her. “I can prove that I can be the man you want me to be.”

“I don't know if I can,” Katrina sighed. “How do I forgive you when I can't trust you?”

“Give me a chance to prove myself. You owe me that.”

“I owe you?” she questioned him. “How the hell do I owe you anything short of divorce papers?”

“Calm down. Please. I didn't mean it like that,” he said. “Are you really so willing to give up on us? On what we have? We have a family Kitty.”

“A family you don't seem to want.”

“How can you say that?” he asked appalled by the thought. “I love my boys.”

“Then you don't love me.”

“That's not it and you know it. I do love you. If I didn't love you, would I be sitting across from you begging for your forgiveness?” He had to stop for a moment to lower his voice. “I'm begging you for another chance Kitty. I love you.”

“And why should I let you walk over my heart again? How do I tell the boys that daddy rather have a night with some whore than the person he promised to be with? How do I do that when I can't figure it out why you did it and I'm not sure I want to.”

“She's not a whore Kitty!” Hank said. “It was a mistake, a big mistake and I wish it never happened but she' not a whore.”

“How many players has she slept with? How many families did she ruin? Don't tell me she isn't a whore when we both know she is!”

“I'm not trying to make you like her. I'm not expecting you to be friends with her or to understand what happened between us,” he told her as he set his hand on top of hers. “What I'm asking for is another chance, for you to care about our family enough, to love me enough to let me show you it won't happen again.”

“Why did it happen to begin with?” Katrina asked, retracting her hand from under his. “How could you even think it let alone actually do it?”

“She was going through a tough time, troubles with Marc's brother. She needed someone to talk to, so I met her at a bar. I drank too much, we both did.”

“So if you had been completely sober, you wouldn't have done it?” she asked. “Is that what you are saying?”

“Of course I wouldn't have done it. I love you. The last thing I want to do is jeopardize what we have. Can you please give me a little credit?”

“Do you think you deserve any? I have cried over you and that whore more than I should have to. The bad part of it all is the one to comfort me? The one to tell me that everything is going to be okay? It's Noah.”

“Kitty, I already told you, this wasn't really Caitlin's fault. It was just a mistake, a stupid drunk mistake, Caitlin is not a whore.”

“You so readily defend her, even when none of the Staals are around and I know you think about her, so tell me, how do Noah, Kris and I play into the way you defend people?”

“You're being crazy. You're acting like I wouldn't defend you, like I don't care,” he said. “Damn it Kitty I do. You need to get past this. You just need to....”

Slapping her husband's face, Katrina felt like crying.

“I don't need to get past anything. You cheated. You slept with another woman, again!” Standing up from the table, she tossed her napkin down. “You aren't worth the heartache. Don't bother coming by the house. I'll have my lawyer call you about visitation.”

Walking away from the table, Katrina held her head high. She wouldn't look back and look at him. This was what needed to be done. Walking out of the restaurant, Katrina made her way to her car. She was thankful that they took separate cars. The drive home was lonesome and emotional. Looking into the passenger seat, she wished that Hank was sitting next to her, but that wouldn't be happening anytime soon.

Pulling up to the house, Katrina parked her car and got out. Making her way inside, she saw how dark it was which meant the boys were either sleeping or Marc was doing something with them. She figured it was the first because of how quiet it was. Taking off her heels, she made her way up the stairs. Peaking inside Noah's room, she saw him asleep so she closed the door only leaving it cracked open. Walking down the hall a few more feet, she peaked into Kris' room and he was also sound asleep. After leaving him, she made her way to her own bedroom.

Opening the door up, Katrina walked inside.

“Hey,” Marc said. “How was dinner?”

“Wouldn't know,” Katrina told him. “I left before any of the food got there.”

“Why?”

“Because he's not the man I married and he doesn't deserve my love if he can't put me before her. She comes before his own kids. That isn't right, Marc.”

“He does love you.”

“He loves what we were, but I feel like if I were to forgive him and I really mean forgive him then I wouldn't be honest with myself. There will be that doubt in my mind that he might be thinking about her instead of me while we lay in bed.”

“It would eat away at you.”

“It would,” Katrina agreed. “Which is why I won't do it again. As much as I do love him, I think it would just be better if we weren't together anymore.”

“You mean-”

“Divorce papers will start tomorrow and I will work out visitation because I won't deny the boys that.”

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Marc asked as he stood in front of her.

“What I want is to be happy and that isn't with Hank and I'm hoping that there is someone in this city who I can find that with. But they'd have to get past Noah and Kris first.” Katrina laughed a little.

“That isn't as hard as you think.”

Looking up at Marc in time to see him lean down and kiss her.