I Hope You're as Happy as You're Pretending

CHAPTER EIGHT: And I Don’t Ever Learn, But I Know I Forget
February 12, 2011 - Kennewick, WA
“Is George coming out tonight or are we stuck without him?” I looked up, watching Jordon appear into my line of sight. He was holding one of the cups of coffee I had poured for him, when he had gotten up this morning. So far, he had been the only one to get up, the only one interested in George’s whereabouts.

“I talked to him about twenty minutes ago,” I started, picking up my coffee from where it sat next to my laptop. “He said he was coming out. I assume they’re not going to let Kristie out of the hospital until later, so I guess he’ll be here for the rest of the tour. There’s only like three-ish dates left.” Jordon nodded at me, as I brought my coffee to my lips. “He said he planned on it.”

“Twenty bucks says they had a big, knock out fight.” I shrugged my shoulders. He had been the only one I had talked to, and he hadn’t mentioned it, so I didn’t know if it was true or not. I was just hoping that I wasn’t going to have to replace him for the rest of the tour. I didn’t even know who I could replace him with, if it came to that. I would have assumed one of the guys’ from New Medicine, Brady or Jake, but that was only if they knew the material well enough and if their price was right to fill in. I was just hoping George stayed, because essentially, he couldn’t be replaced.

“I don’t know, Mr. Scene.” He grinned and laughed. “I just know what I was told. Just talked to Ragan this morning. Didn’t talk to Kristie.” He shrugged his shoulders, as he took a seat on the couch. “Said he’d get a taxi here, and that he’d be here in time for show. All I fucking know.”

“I got that.” I nodded at him. “Where’ve you been hiding lately? I feel like you’re never around anymore.” I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t imagine why he felt that way. Personally, I felt like I was always around. I was pretty sure I was with someone from Hollywood Undead constantly, whether it was all of them, or when I was lucky enough to be solely with Jorel. Honestly, I cherished those moments with Jorel, paying no mind to the fact that I had just met him eight days ago nor how stupid those moments could turn out to be. I liked Jorel.

“I’m here, all the time.” He gave me an extremely suspicious look. I didn’t know what I did to deserve it, I assumed that they knew that I had been fucking Jorel pretty regularly anymore.

“Where were you last night?” I raised my eyebrows.

“I was in my bunk,” I answered. “I was tired, wanted to talk to someone that wasn’t you fuckers.” Jordon laughed.

“You think you’ll stick around?” He questioned, and I gave him a funny look. I didn’t understand what he had meant by that. I was going to stick around through the rest of the tour, its what I promised to Kristie. “For the next tour.” I shrugged my shoulders. That hadn’t come up in conversation yet. I knew that I was just here for the rest of the Nightmare After Christmas.

“I don’t know. I guess that’s up to you guys. Up to Kristie. Have to see what she wants to do before you start asking me, don’t you think?” He shrugged his shoulders, pushing himself off of the couch.

“I don’t think she’ll come out anymore, but that’s just me.” He came toward me, and took a seat at the table across from me. I pushed down the screen of my laptop, and leaned back against the back of the chair. “So, we have to get serious and find someone new to take her place.”

“And that’s me? You’re just going to abandon her? Maybe she wants to continue coming out, Jordon. I don’t want to get into that, especially when she hasn’t decided for or against it yet. I don’t want to get my hopes up and then have her come back and fuck me over. She might be my best friend, but I’ve got bills and things that I have to cover and shit. I have to get with a band that knows if they actually want me or not.”

“We’ll find something for you to do, if she does come back. Merch or crew or something. We like you.” I raised my eyebrows, giving him a small smile. I guess I was glad someone wanted me to continue to come back. I hated not knowing what was possibly next. I hated going back to that grocery store I worked at, while I wasn’t at tour, just to have money that I could live on. I had been desperately looking for some band who wanted to continue to call me back.

“You just blowing this out of your ass?” I wanted to be certain that he wasn’t fucking me over with this, that he had talked to everyone, and hadn’t just talked to himself. They all seemed pretty comfortable with me, but that could have just been a show they were putting on to make me feel comfortable.

“What?” He laughed. “No! We talked about this last night. We agreed that you’re probably a good fit.” I rolled my eyes and he laughed once more. “I’m being serious. We like having you about. You’re fucking ridiculous when you get drunk. We love it.” I sighed.

“Are you offering me a job then?” Jordon nodded his head.

“Essentially. We haven’t talked to George, but fuck George. He’s already been outvoted, if he says no.” I sighed. “What? Don’t want the job I’m offering you?”

“No, no, I do,” he answered. “I just don’t want to be somewhere where someone doesn’t want me.” Jordon shook his head.

“George doesn’t matter. The rest of us want you here. Plus, I’m sure he wouldn’t care anyways. You guys’ hang out a lot, anyways. You’re friends with Kristie. You guys’ hang a lot.” I nodded.

“You guys’ seriously want me here?”

“Yeah, don’t you want to be with us?” I shrugged.

“Yeah, I suppose so, but you know.” He nodded, looking down at the phone he had in his hand.

“Alright, I’m out. Shower and food time.” I gave him a thumbs up. “Think about it some more.” He slid out of his seat as I nodded, opening my laptop once more.

“Will do, Terrell.” He headed off of the bus, and I slowly pulled myself out of the chair. I took a deep breath, and headed back into the bunks. “Jorel,” I said quietly, tugging open the curtain of the bunk that was two bunks above mine. He was awake, staring at the ceiling, the blanket to his chin. He looked toward me, a smile sweeping across his face like wildfire. His smile made me smile in return.

“Good morning you,” he smiled, propping himself up on his elbow, looking down at me.

“What are you thinking about, Jay?” He shrugged his shoulders. “What is this I hear about a job offering?”

“Jordon told you?” I nodded and he groaned. “I wanted to tell you! And?”

“I suppose I can find it in myself to stick around for another tour, though you all completely stress me out.” He laughed. “I don’t know how Kristie does it.”

“Its George.” I nodded, kind of understanding, but she had started dating George after she had come into the whole tour managing thing with them, anyways. As I recalled, things for them had started out a lot more innocent than things with Jorel and I. “She would have left us a long time ago, had George not, like, needed her, I guess is the best way to phrase that. He wouldn’t talk to us, but he talked to her.” He shrugged. “Whatever. So, what do you want to do today?” I shrugged my shoulders, taking a step back from the bunks.

“I want to go see the new Ragan baby.”

“We just left from there. Its like five hours away!” I shrugged my shoulders, grabbing Jorel’s iPhone from where he had it sitting on the edge of his bunk. “Hey, that’s my phone.” I nodded at him, pulling up the Safari application on it. “What do you need it for?” He didn’t try to take it away from me.

“Yes it is,” I answered, quickly bringing up Google. “I’m going to find a car rental place. We should go see the Ragan baby and bring back George.”

“I’m not driving.” I looked up at him from his phone.

“Bro, fuck you. You are so driving. I fucking hate driving.” He sighed.

“Okay, you drive half way there, I’ll drive the other half, and George can drive back.” I sighed, but nodded.

“Okay, that’s fair.”