Gerard Way Is My Dad?

"What did I do?" Brik asked, innocently. Gerard swerved over to the side of road and everyone turned to look at me. I clicked it onto speark phone and answered his question.

"You fucking tried to kill Frank!" I shouted.

"What?"

"You tried to kill Frank!" I yelled louder.

"I did? Are you okay, Helena?" Brik asked and I almost blew my top. Frank wrapped his unhurt arm around me. He could obviously tell I was pissed.

"I'm not okay, Brik. You tried to hurt Frank! That is not okay with me. Just admit it, you know you did. Everything would work out best if you just admitted everything." Maybe, that would work. I could just get him to admit what he did. Then, we wouldn't have to fight about it all.

"Why would I hurt Frank? That's crazy." Brik added.

"You thought we were dating and you loved me. That's a reason. If you ever did love me." I said that last part louder than I wanted it to be, with mood attitude definately.

"I did love you, Helena. Then something about you changed. You became very uninterested in me. All you wanted was your dad. I felt left out. You didn't act lovingly towards me. I know you were excited about your dad and stuff, but, you started being disrespectful towards your mom, too. Did you even think about that? You aren't perfect, you know. And earlier when I saw you and Frank, I decided maybe we shouldn't be together. Things might never work out, so I got mad. If that makes any sense at all to you. We always used to be able to talk about our feelings. What happened, Helena?"

Whoa. I didn't expect that. What do I say? I've changed a lot. I'm not going to lie about that. Wait, did he say he got mad? Does that mean he just admitted it?

"Okay, I'm not going to lie to you. That is one thing I don't do. Honestly, I haven't thought about my mother's feelings in a while. Of course, it was probably hard for her to deal with me. I always knew that. But, me? Being disrespectful? I guess, I was. I should apoligize, I know it. What really pisses me off though, is the fact that you think that I think I'm perfect. I aboslutely hate people who think so highly of themselves. Sure, self-confidence is a good thing but too much isn't. I know I have changed a lot, Brik. Knowing I have changed though, you have to accept why I have changed. There has been many changes in my life, lately. I'm sorry about not giving you attention, but it gives you no right to hurt Frank. Frank didn't do anything to you on purpose. Just having a dad, is all I ever wanted. It's taking me a little bit to get used to. Especially, it being Gerard." Everyone continued to watch me as I spoke. I noticed Frank messing with his lipring, nervously, when he was mentioned.

"Look, I just didn't want Frank to end up hurting you. Or Gerard. Or anyone. You may of changed but I still care. That won't ever stop. You may not understand why I did what I did but, it's done. So, I'm pretty much admitting that I tried to kill Frank Iero and I am going to go to jail for this, I know." What Brik said, suddenly made sense. I was embarassed to admit it, though.

"Brik, as much as I don't want to say this, it makes sense. I know why you wouldn't want Gerard to hurt me, especially. He totally blew my mother off and could of killed me. He didn't love me in the beginning. It's obvious, that I was taking a huge chance by wanting to meet him. If he was anything like the way my mother described him then I wouldn't want to know him. But, he's still my dad. I've never wanted to admit that I was afraid to see him. I was though. I always was. Frank is a different story. We aren't dating so you don't need to really worry about him hurting me. Besides, it's illegal."

"Helena, did you ever love me?" Brik asked and I had no idea how to answer.

"I think I loved your ideas and the thought of being loved. I never really looked deep enough inside of you to realize if I loved you."

Where did that come from?

"So...that's a no? Well, it's okay, I guess. You probably hate me because of what I did."

I thought for a moment. Did I hate him?

"Yeah, just a little. You did hurt me and Frank. And I must admit, I do like Frank, quite a bit." I smiled at Frank and noticed he was asleep. Poor thing, I bet he was tired.

"I know, that's why I am not forcing you to love me. When you love someone you have to accept their descions. Even if you don't understand them."

That's what I didn't get about Brik. He was so horrible to you, then he became the sweetest and most understanding person in the world. The truth was, I just didn't love him though. We weren't right for each other. Maybe, that's what happened with my mom and Gerard. If only my mom would forgive me, now.