Eyes Like Sunsets.

When Megan’s gone I go from frantic to awkward all over again and the worst part is I have to appear like I’m not in front of John. In all honesty, I have no idea how she does it. How she goes from being a total nut case to acting so cool and collected around guys she’s attracted to? I can barely talk to Megan’s boyfriends without feeling weird and half the time I don’t even like them.

John smiles, his hands in his pockets as he leans all of his weight onto the left side of his body. I can see he’s amused by my actions seeing as I start playing with a couple of the beads on my dreads. Looking away I see Megan near the ramps talking to a tall guy with short hair and a beanie on. She’s using her charm, touching him as inconspicuously as possible to make it seem like she’s just flirting and not totally interested, laughing at whatever he says, playing with her hair –the usual tactics she uses to latch onto her prey.

When I look back John’s still starring at me, but this time his brow is raised.

“What?” I lick my lips, pushing my dreads behind my shoulder.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about what your friend Megan said earlier to me. We had a rather intriguing discussion.” His smile turns into a smirk as he crosses his arms over his chest.

My eyes go sort of wider than normal and it feels like my heartbeat hitches and starts going out of wack. I lick my bottom lip and try to occupy myself by playing with my dreads some more, looking at my shoes, checking my phone, anything to get my mind off the fact that I’m standing next to John O’Callaghan with absolutely nothing to say.

“Aren’t you at all interested in what she had to say?” He asks.

I glance up at him quickly, he appears to be genuinely curious by the fact that I haven’t asked about what he and my friend were talking about. “Not really.” I say with a shrug, even though I’m dying inside to know.

“Hm, okay, well, how’ve you been since I last saw you?” He asks, changing the subject which I’m sort of thankful about, but at the same time sad.

“Decent.”

“That’s it?”

I nod.

“Nothing exciting?”

I shake my head.

“Nothing over-the-top fantastic?”

Another head shake.

“Not even, just like, great?”

And another.

“You sure don’t talk a lot for someone who’s supposedly our biggest fan.” He states finally. “I mean, c’mon, let loose just a little bit, you know? You’re talking with the John Cornelius O’Callaghan V. Don’t you have any questions, any conversation starters, perhaps even a sob story about how our music got you through the hardest time of your life?”

I shrug unknowingly, thinking about how stupid I must look compared to everyone else. All their other fans can just wing it when they talk to them, let loose like John says and have fun, but me? I’m just an oddball nineteen year-old girl with dreads meeting one of her most favorite people in the world and I have nothing to say.

“You need alcohol or something.” John states.

I scoff, I can’t help it. “I’ve never been drunk in my life.” I mumble.

John looks at me in complete shock. I’m probably the first person at Warped to be a total straight edge, no drugs, no alcohol, and yes, even no sex.

“Are you serious?” He asks.

“Completely, sober my entire life.” I state, except I say it with such disappointment that I feel stupid and worthless. No human being at the age of nineteen should ever be as pathetic and dorky as me. They should have fun and party and maybe, just maybe, they’ll have a chance at living a happy, optimistic life like Megan.

“No offence, but that’s kind of sad.”

“Yeah,” I roll my eyes without John noticing and bite my left thumbnail. “I guess.”

We remain silent for a while, so silent in fact I swear I can hear the non-existent breeze blowing between us. Without talking, we stand there, moving our bodies uncomfortably. At this point I feel bad for keeping him here. He could be doing better things than talking with me, like talking with other, more confident girls, hanging out with the rest of the guys, eating –anything really. I’m tempted to just leave, until my iPhone vibrates in my pocket. John smiles at me and motions me to take it. I do, pressing read.

How are you two love birds doing? ;)

Of course it’s Megan. I roll my eyes and look at John who’s peaking over at my shoulder and laughing.

“She’s very upfront isn’t she?” He asks.

I don’t bother looking up at him, instead I type in my reply and sigh, “You have absolutely no idea.” I say.

I hate you. I hope Jason runs you over with his skateboard.

“Harsh much?” John laughs.

I look at him and narrow my eyes. “She deserves it.”

“Do you really hate talking to me that much?” He stops laughing and looks sort of offending, “Because if you do I can just leave you alone right now and never talk to you again. I’m totally fine with that.” He holds his hands up in defeat and turns on his heel to walk away.

At that moment I feel like shit, like I might’ve hurt his feelings. I press my lips tightly together, watching him slowly walk away. I’m tempted to tell him to stay, but at the same time I’m afraid I’m going to make an even bigger fool of myself than before.

“Um, John, wait!” I blurt out, holding my hand in the air dramatically. I feel like I’m in a movie where I’m the nerdy female heroine trying to win the heart of the most popular guy in school.

When he turns around he raises his brow. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just,” I blink, trying to come up with some good sounding reason why I’m acting like a total bitch to him. “I’m not a very talkative person, y’know? And well, Megan sort of surprised me by dragging me here to meet you again. I didn’t expect to see you after that.” I swallow hard after I’m done and try my hardest to breathe at a normal pace even though my stomach is flipping and my chest is pounding and I feel like I’m about to blow up.

He nods, putting his hands in his pockets again as he walks over to me until the space between us is only a couple of inches. He looks down at me, seeing as he’s taller and licks his lips. “In that case, mind joining me for a drink after the show?” He cocks his head.

I stand there, dumbfounded for a good thirty seconds until I realize he just asked me a really important question that could turn the tables on what’s happening now. If I do go with him and have a drink or two maybe I could loosen up and actually get a chance to talk to him about all the things I’ve always wanted to talk to him about.

Plus, I could tell everyone my first time getting drunk was with John O’Callaghan.

“Uh,” I shrug, “Sure.”

“Great,” He says with a wide grin. “I’ll see you later then. I better get going to see the rest of the guys and you better go check in with Megan who’s currently starring at us like a vulture on a dead carcass.”

I scrunch up my face and turn my body to see Megan looking at us, smiling, throwing sexually related hand gestures into the air like some psycho. Rolling my eyes, I flip her off and look back at John who’s laughing.

“You’re one strange person Dreads.”

“Thanks?”

“No problem.” He says. “See you around.” He places his hand on my shoulder like he did earlier and turns to leave. Before he does though, he winks and I’m left totally clueless at what just happened.