Ezzy

It's natural for a teenager to feel uncomfortable in his or her own skin, it's casual, normal, maybe even to want to be someone else- But is it okay to feel like you're not even real? Like a soul and a body never met.

Jack slept on my bed, his limbs sprawled over the comforter with ease as he devoured the bed with his gangly body. Slowly and quietly, I walked over from my computer desk to remove his new yet already worn-out sneakers from his feet. He had been so terribly exhausted he never bothered to take his shoes off; once his face hit the pillow he was out like a light. Along with the Converse, I stripped off his stench filled, dirty socks covered in grim and tossed them to the opposite side of the room. He looked so peaceful and sound while he slept without a second thought, but yet he also looked repulsive and bedraggled as he lay with face strewn with dirt. “I'm glad you're home,” I said to him, kissing him on the cheek.

I grabbed an extra blanket from my reading area, and curled up on the floor. It would have been the perfect moment, if Jack wouldn't have snored throughout the entire night.

*

My eyes opened to the bright light peeking in from my horizontal blinds. I sprung up to my feet, eager to see if Jack was still there or not; he hadn't budged, but he was awake. “Hey,” he said not looking at me. I was glad he didn't, my brown-red hair was a frizzy mane and my eyes had bags beyond bags as they sagged below. It didn't matter to Jack though, he was still my Jack, and I was still his Ez.

“How long have you been up?” I yawned, as I turned my head the opposite direction to hide my morning breath. Stretching, I gave out a generous hand for him to take, as he scooted over and pulled me up on the comfy, warm bed. My bed felt like a soft marshmallow compared to the cold, hard floor. I rendered an unattractive noise while pleasured by how pleasing the comfort of my mattress was.

“An hour, maybe two,” he said. I turned on my side to stare at him. Why hadn't he woken me? “Your mom walked in a few times, glared at me, but then walked back out. She cares about you, you know.”

“You're pretty funny, even when you're not trying to be,” I said flipping back over on my back, gazing at my boring, plain ceiling with him. Staring at nothing with Jack was better than staring at something alone.

“I'm serious,” he said. “She comes in here frequently just to see if you're- I don't know- Not dead.” He stuttered to find the correct wording, and even when he thought he had found it, it didn't sound completely accurate. His hand slid down in between us and touched my hand, electrifying it immensely. My head snapped over to look at him, as I removed my hand from underneath his. “I- I'm sorry,” he stammered, “I-”

“Let's just pretend it didn't happen, okay?” I said jumping out of the bed, facing the door, away from Jack. My face most likely looked flushed and humiliated, I didn't want him seeing me this much of a wreck.

“I didn't mean to-”

“Just don't bring it up, okay, Jack?!” I assertively demanded, flashing an evil glare at him, but an uneasy yet apologetic smile? Was that an accident? I hoped to God so.

*

We skipped school. Jack and I. I told my mother that Jack was going to escort me there, and that we were late and on our way in a hurry. She ushered me along, not particularly giving a shit about what I did or who I did it with... If it was a guy. Mom only had one-million things on her mind, and a child adding to the mix did not agree with her, it's just how it was, no matter how hard Jack tried to convince me otherwise.

“You know Jessica and I hung out,” I mentioned while we sat on the metal benches inside the mall eating $1 chili dogs with everything piled on them.

“Jeshica?” he slurred with beans and cheese in his preoccupied mouth. “Jeshica who?” He spat food when he spoke... This is why I liked girls.

“Allbin,” I said. “I mean, I guess it was both of them, those Allbins. Brad tagged along too.” I didn't mention that it was really Brad and I who had the initial set in stone, first plans, and that Jessica was the one who tagged along, but why should it matter to Jack anyhow?

He wiped his mouth with the side of his hand, ignoring the fresh, white napkins in the greasy to-go bag. “Why? You into Jessica?” He uttered a small laugh as more meat-juice spewed. “Hahaha,” he continue to mock and break my spirits. “Jessica? She's the all-around nice, pretty girl. She's not a bad ass lesbian with tattoos and stuff.”

“She's not a bad ass, but she's bad ass... Lesbians don't have to have tattoos, I don't have any,” I added.

A group of tall women with lengthy stilettos strutted confidently down the wide, tall corridor. Each woman wore a black dress with a high, well-adjusted neck line. Black to ranging to navy blue designing tights fitted them well along the legs and back down to the expensive heels.

“She's not into you, she likes dicks not chicks.”

“Look, I never said I was after her like that, you just assumed,” I snapped, getting irritated with Jack who tried so hard to destroy my crush.

“Those girls over there-” he said waving a limp hand over to the women dressed with class and high expense. “They wouldn't be into you either. And those ones-” he said pointing at a clique of teenage girls who should have been in school like me, “they wouldn't give you the time of day.”

“Go screw yourself, Jack Uden,” I said setting my chili dog down and pranced sexily over to the teenage girls. Jack was right, they all neglected my hand shake and slowly inched away from the girl trying to make a new friend. I retreated back to the metal bench, unsatisfied with my attempts which resulted in failure. “Whatever,” I groaned feeling bleak.

“Told you,” he proved.

“I'm hopeless.”

“Those girls-” he said referring back to the ones I had approached, “are popular. And also bitches, but whatever, they are what they are... You're not hopeless, you just gotta find your niche. Your niche is not those types of girls. Jessica may not be a bitch, but she's out of your league.”

He was so blunt, too blunt.