Status: This is a verse novel. Warning: Involves abuse.
Invisible
I knew better
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
His pen falls in motions
that capture my eyes
as he stares at me.
“I heard from the school
today,” he rumbles.
“They said you had a
panic
attack.
It’s not good enough, Jaqueline.
I expect the best from you.
I don’t expect you to fake
a panic attack
just to get out of a little sport.”
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
I’ve been getting restless lately.
Letting myself have a panic attack?
Making a friend?
Cutting my hair?
Crushing on a boy, and not only just a boy, but the one boy who is featured in most of my nightmares?
This will help
me become not
And even though,
sometimes,
just occasionally
I’d like him to
ccccclook at me,
Tap.
Tap.
His pen falls in motions
that capture my eyes
as he stares at me.
“I heard from the school
today,” he rumbles.
“They said you had a
panic
attack.
It’s not good enough, Jaqueline.
I expect the best from you.
I don’t expect you to fake
a panic attack
just to get out of a little sport.”
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
I’ve been getting restless lately.
Letting myself have a panic attack?
Making a friend?
Cutting my hair?
Crushing on a boy, and not only just a boy, but the one boy who is featured in most of my nightmares?
This will help
me become not
invisible
to my father.
to my father.
And even though,
sometimes,
just occasionally
I’d like him to
ccccclook at me,
doesn’t mean I
want to
become
what Ivy is now –
want to
become
what Ivy is now –
just a banging on
the wall
during the night.
the wall
during the night.