Invisible

Self control; I have none

I’m shuddering
crying
shaking
weeping
sobbing
gasping.

My stomach feels like
it’s being squashed
tightly into a small
tiny
pain filled
thing.

It’s screaming for food.
I’ve never been like this before
even after a few days of
not eating.

God, it hurts.

And I can’t even look at the basin anymore,
because the vomit makes me
want to do it all over again.