You Drain The Life From Me.

I had to tell John everything. He was the only person who could truly calm me down and help me clear my head. Stephen distracted me from the problems that Garrett caused, but he never really solved them. John always knew what to say when stuff like this happened. Always.

So I knocked on his door and when I heard a, "come in!" I stepped inside. From the looks of it, he was on the band's Myspace, updating show dates and random thoughts that ran through his head.

"Hey, John, we gotta talk."

He shut his laptop and patted the space next to him on his bed. "Come tell John Ohh what's wrong."

I chuckled and sat down, resting my head on his shoulder. "Everything's going horribly. It's all out of balance."

"Is this about Garrett?"

"Yeah. There's a lot more though."

"Well, start from the beginning," he suggested.

"You know that he cheated on me with Rachael Roberts, right? Well, right after that, I started to become really good friends with Stephen Gomez. That night I brought him to a show and then 8123, I got really angry and drunk. We ended up doing the dirty."

John froze up and clenched his fists. "You--you what? You had sex?! I haven't even done it yet! What the fuck! I'm going to find Stephen and cut off his balls and then take out his eyeballs and replace them with--"

I placed my hand on his and urged him to calm his tits. "Stop, stop. It doesn't end there. Wait, you're a virgin? Damn."

He rolled his eyes. "Is there anymore intercourse involved?" he asked bitterly.

"Kind of..."

He threw his hands into the air, exsasperated. "You're gonna give me a heart attack, baby sister."

"Would you relax? Anyway, after that, Stephen and I became closer and closer, but we never did it again. Garrett and I had one or two confrontations which just made me angrier. But Stephen calmed me down after those and we were super close to becoming a couple."

"So what's the problem?"

"Well...a few days ago...you know that one show you guys did? The one neither Stephen nor Rachael was there for?"

John nodded nervously.

"Well, um, Garrett asked if he could explain himself. So I let him. And then he kissed me. Then it got heated. Then we decided we didn't want to make it so heated that the van would shake and everyone would know what was going on, so we went to his house and--"

"Stop! Stop, I get it! I know!"

I sighed. "Yeah. And I realized how much I still love Garrett and how much I miss him. And he and I both know that if we got back together, it wouldn't take much for us to go back to normal. I wish I could try. But I don't want to get hurt again because that's what always happens with Garrett. I know that I should be with Stephen because Stephen is sweet and he'll be the one that'll get me over Garrett."

"But you don't want to get over Garrett."

"Exactly."

"I know you like Stephen, but you love Garrett. Huge difference, potato chip."

"I wish things weren't so complicated. Stephen asked me to be his girlfriend today. I said yes."

"Why?"

"Because, like I said. Stephen is good for me. I'm better off with Stephen."

"Look, I know you think that, but it might not be true. I'm not saying it is and I'm not saying it isn't, because we never know until you actually go through with it. But you're obviously not completely happy.

"Sure, if you stick with Stephen, you'll have a nice, peaceful life. Maybe you'll get married and have kids one day, and you'll be the perfect Mexican-American family with steak tacos for dinner with a side baked potato, Mexican-American style.

"But it won't be the same life you'll have if you stick with Garrett. If you stick with Garrett, you'll have your ups and downs, but in the end, he'll still be your best friend. He'll still know you inside out. He'll know things that took over ten years to learn, things that Stephen will probably never know. But there's always the risk of getting hurt. But isn't there that risk in everything we do? Life is meant to be lived recklessly, not meant to be lived semi-happily."

I walked back into my room, thinking hard about what John had said.

I was pretty sure Garrett and I had been safe, but just for reassurance, I had grabbed something from the drug store on my way home from the park. Something that caused the cashiers and people in line to give me odd and disapproving looks.

Heading to the bathroom, I did what was necessary.

When I was finished, I walked back into John's room, clutching the stick.

"Watcha got in your hand there, potato chip?"

Tears fell down my cheeks and I whispered, "John, I think I'm pregnant."