Fall Out Girl

“Parker was the best thing to happen to this town since whipped cream in a spray can. He was sweet, charming, a good listener, a great football player, a true friend, and the best boyfriend a girl could ask for. I can’t recall a day that passed where he didn’t try to help someone out- be it a big or little task.” I took a deep breath and wiped my eye before looking back at my note card. With a deep sigh, I crumbled it up. “I don’t know what you want to hear. And I don’t know what to say to convey some sort of closure. The truth is, Parker was too young to die. He was bound for greater things than Glenview had to offer. His dreams were beautiful. He wanted to go to The University and become the star receiver for the college team. He also become this big businessman, raise a loving family, and donate most of the profits to children’s charities.” I wiped away the tears in my eyes. “He really wanted to make a difference in the world.” I was about to choke up and beak down. Already my voice was cracking.

“I remember sitting on the porch swing with him one night. We were gazing up at the stars. We were sixteen and didn’t have a care in the world. I asked him where he saw himself in ten years. His answer was simple: I’m going to be in the best home I can afford with a loving family. I measure success by happiness. So, even if I don’t become this big hot-shot player or rolling around in the Lambos, I’ll consider myself successful if I touch at least one life…Well, Honey, you’ve touched more than one, I can tell you that much.” I paused and took another deep breath. I looked down at my hands. My note card was torn to pieces. I smiled lightly. “I don’t know what to say anymore. I had the beginning of this wonderful speech written out for him, but I couldn’t finish it…not until this morning. I had a dream about him last night. He was wearing his infamous Chicago Cubs jersey and tossing a football between his hands. He said “Emmy, I’ll always love you, but you have to move on. Say a few soothing words, tell my mom I love her, tell the team that they better keep up the winning streak- I’ll be watching them…but, most of all, play our song. Then move on, you don’t have to let go completely, I still want a space in your heart, but I’m not going to be in the center anymore.” So, In keeping with his request, here’s our song.” I sighed and pressed play on the small stereo. Cheap Trick’s “I want you to want me” reverberated through the church as I made my way down the aisle and out of the cathedral.

I went straight to the park, go figure. No one was there. I went to the jungle gym and climbed up to the top. I sat there and looked up at the cloudless sky. Most funerals you hear about always have rain. Not this one. The sun couldn’t have shown brighter. It took irony to a whole new level.

“I followed you.”

I squinted my eyes and gave him a look.

“FUCK! Why is it that the first words out of my mouth to you are always what a perverted stalker would say?! I’m so sorry Emz.”

For the first time that day, I laughed. “It’s ok, Pete. Really. So, are you ready for the show tonight?”

“Yea, but aren’t you kind of avoiding the question?”

I looked over at him and locked eyes with his honey colored ones. “No, because you never asked the right question.”

He smirked. “I’m sorry. How are you doing? It looked like you were about to break down and cry several times while you were up there.”

I closed my eyes for a second and sighed. “I’m…as well as can be expected.” I replied after opening my eyes.

He sat down next to me. “That’s good to hear. Well, not really, but you-”

“Pete?”

“Huh?”

“Shut the hell up. It’s ok.”

He grinned, showing all of his perfect pearly whites. I’ve known him two months and already knew that he was completely hopeless in the saying-the-right-things-at-the-right-times department. It took him at least five tries before he said the right thing.

I laughed and shoved him off of the jungle gym.

Looking “hurt” Pete climbed back up and grinned at me. “I see you can’t keep your hands off of me.” He began wiggling his body around. That only made me laugh harder.

“Oh yea, don’t you know? I’m soooo in lust with you. I would do you right here, right now.” I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes the entire way.

“Really?” he asked, not noticing my sarcasm.

“PETER! Seriously!” I yelled at him. He’s so helpless.

“I’m sorry. So, Parker Lewis really can’t lose can he? Even in death?”

I stared straight ahead. “Yea. Parker Lewis can’t lose, even in death. He'll always have my heart.”

I could sense him as he leaned back. “Well, then, I’m going to give it my best shot anyways.”