Fall Out Girl

It was now fourth period. Aka. SGA aide period. Aka. Lunch. Angela wasn’t here today and there was nothing going on, so I caught up on my homework and studied a little bit for tomorrow’s Bio test. When the second lunch bell sounded, I headed over to the courtyard, where I knew my brother and friends would be. Wow, friends I haven’t really had those in awhile. Not since I became popular. Everyone I’ve met have been acquaintances. Joe and Chris were practically family to me.

I smiled over to them and sat down in front of the tree. Andy, Chris, and Oat were already there. Pete came bouncing over a few seconds later. He kissed my cheek as his arm went around my waist before he rested his head on my shoulder. I didn’t realize that I missed being held until he made that one simple gesture. I smiled over at him and pulled a few locks of hair out of his face.

Pat, Kay, and- to my surprise- Brittany came out and sat down next to Joe. Joe wrapped an arm around her and pecked her cheeks. Kay went over to Andy while Pat sat in between Chris and I. Pete moved so that his head was in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair almost sub-consciously. It just came naturally and I couldn’t explain any of my behavior today.

“Britt, what are you doing here? And what’s going on?”

“I go here now…well, since Friday. Andy and I are now going out. Are you coming over this afternoon?”

“I guess. It would have to be after Cheerleading, though.”

“Oh, that’s fine! You, me, and Dr. B just need to go over some stuff since you’re going to be living with us soon.”

Pete’s head shot out of my lap and looked back at me. In fact, everyone was looking back at me slack-jawed except for Brittany.

“What?!” I roared. What the hell just happened? When did I agree to this? Did mom know? Obviously Pat doesn’t know. What the fuck?!

Brittany shrunk down. “Oops, I guess I wasn’t supposed to say that. Please don’t kill me. Just forget about it. It was a simple mistake.”

I pushed myself up and walked quickly in the direction of the football field. I held back my tears of frustration. It had to be mom. Why would she do that, though? I’m getting better. I swear I’m getting better. The others…I don’t know anymore. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice that someone was following me until they wrapped their arms around me. I was so close to the field.

Without thinking, I turned in his embrace and buried my face into his chest. His arms tightened around me as I shook. Honestly, I didn’t know how I felt. I was depressed, angry, sad, anxious…I couldn’t really place it on just one emotion. The one thing that I knew is that I loved the feel of his arms around me. I loved the sense of protection they gave me. He ran one of his hands through my hair.

“Shh, Sweetie, it’s okay. Everything is going to be fine.”

I tried to push myself out of his grip, but he just held me tighter. After a few more seconds of unsuccessfully getting out of his arms, I stopped and let him calm me down. I pulled away peacefully this time. I couldn’t meet his eyes. Something was stopping me.

“Thanks, Pete. It helped.”

He brought me into another hug and kissed my forehead. “No problem. It’s what any good boyfriend would do.

Before I knew it, school ended. Pete and I separated at the gym entrance with a kiss. I can’t believe I’m dating again was the thought that ran through my mind as changed into my workout clothes from this morning. Surprisingly, I was the first one on the gym floor. I turned the radio on a began stretching. When the others came out, they joined me in stretching. I got out a few mats and practiced my cartwheels and round offs. For some reason, I couldn’t stick the landings and it was pissing me off. Coach Hollins came in and told us to get into formation.

After that, everything went downhill. It was clear that they changed some things on Friday. I was getting pretty ticked off. I was up in the air, Jared and Chase had a firm grip on my right foot while I held my left one by the toe.

“Alright! Enough! Amelia, get down here!” Coach Hollins barked. Jared and Chase threw me in the air then caught me. I gave them a small smile and thanked them before running over to coach. “Emmy, what has gotten into you lately? You’re always late, never on count, and you’re not focusing! I know that your boyfriend died, but it’s been over two months. Your grace period is over. Get fixed or get out.”

Normally, I would have either broken down or try to logically explain myself… but who was I kidding? I wasn’t normal. I laughed. When most people would square their shoulders and prove their worth, I laugh. I don’t even know why I was laughing, to tell you the truth…I just was. And it felt good. Looking back, I wondered what all the hype of being on the squad was. Why did I need it so much?

“You know what I just realized, Coach Hollins? I. Don’t. Care. Fuck the squad! Hell, fuck everything about this damn school! I don’t need it! And you know what? the competition is this weekend so you better hope that you can find someone who can do a handless cartwheel before then or else you’re screwed.” Laughing, I skipped to the locker room and grabbed my things. I walked, twirled, and skipped my way home. For once in my life, I was proud of quitting something. Maybe this was a sign… that I was finally getting better. Everything was going to alright in the end. I just knew it.