Fall Out Girl

My smile fell instantly when I opened the door to my house. On the couch sat Joe, Will, Chris, Pat, my mom, Brittany, and Dr. Bennington. The look my brother gave me made the blood in my veins run cold. Fear gripped at my heart as I made my way over to them. Slowly, I sat down in the only unoccupied chair. Mom sent me a pseudo-warm smile.

“What’s wrong? You’re scaring me.”

“Nothing is wrong. We were just discussing your living arrangements.” Dr. Bennington replied emotionlessly.

“W-what?”

He sighed. “Amelia, you are clearly not getting better. You’re mother has consented to give me full legal guardianship over you for the next few months. You are to live under my care along with Brittany until you turn eighteen. I’m also pulling both of you out of school. It’s apparently too much of a constraint on your mental health.” I sat frozen, not able to process everything.

When was this decided? I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. Why can’t they understand?

“So, go pack your things. You only need the essentials: clothes and toiletries. I urge you not to pack anything too personal. No pictures, notes, journals, nothing that would make you homesick. Go, you have ten minutes.”

Numbly, I got up and walked up the stairs. I could hear Pat, Will, Chris, and Joe’s thundering feet behind me. It hadn’t quite set in, I guess. I had no emotions or thoughts on what had just happened, I just…went about my business like an obedient puppy. I slid the largest suitcase out of the hall closet and rolled it into my room. I left it standing in the middle of the room while I sat on my bed. The guys distributed themselves equally in my room. Will and Chris went to the closet while Joe and Pat went to my dresser.

I looked around at the baby blue walls, covered in random posters and Polaroids. I remembered when they were taken. All the memories. How can I possibly leave them behind? There was a tightness in my chest and suddenly, I couldn’t breathe. I was suffocating from the anxiety attack. I need out.

“Emmy?”

I curled up in a small ball and began rocking back and forth.

“Sis, what’s wrong?”

Without second thought, I got up and dashed out of the house. I know what you’re thinking Pft, you can’t run when you have a panic attack. And, I know, but I did. I proved everyone wrong. I ran past the park, knowing that everyone would expect me to be there. I kept running, thankful for my track training. I knew it would be a few good miles before my legs would collapse. I ran down unfamiliar roads, getting further and further away from the heart of Wilmette with each stride. My legs finally gave up on the curb of an unfamiliar street. I didn’t break down and cry. Instead I looked around with a dazed expression. In the depths of my mind, I could hear muffled screams. I didn’t know whether they were from me sub-conscious or the other personalities. Either way, I was going crazier than I already was.

“Emmy? Is that you?”

Arms wrapped around me. I turned my eyes toward her.

Concern was evident on her face. “What are you doing here? Are you ok?”

“Can I stay here for a bit?”

She looked taken aback. “Um, sure.”

“Thanks. Don’t tell the guys. I just need to be away from them for awhile.”

“Um, ok. Let’s get you inside.”