Fall Out Girl

I had to go to the free clinic today. Gag me, please. I remember coming in there as an intern and a resident, but this time was different. I don’t know what changed, but it was something big. Every scared pregnant teenager I came across reminded me of Roxie and her situation. It sucked that I really couldn’t do anything for them. It was their choice, religious background or not, and I couldn’t make the decision for them.

“I can’t have this baby. I’ll cry every time I see it. Please, get it out of me. I don’t want to be a bad mother because of a choice I didn’t make,” the small African American girl in front of me pleaded. Even though I tried to stay detached, my heart went out to her. I nodded my head slowly.

“Ok, you just change into that gown right there while I go get the things.”

“I’m not a bad person, I just- I-” she stuttered as I was walking out of the door.

I stopped and smiled at her. “I know, Honey. It’s hard out there and you’re making a decision that is far beyond your age. Don’t worry, I don’t think any less of you.”

“Doctor Lady, what would you do…if you were me?”

I walked back over to her and took her hands in mine. “Probably the same thing. Babies are a part of us, if I were in your situation and I did give birth, I highly doubt that I could part with a piece of myself. Does that help the pain in your heart go away?”

“Yea, you’re a great doctor, Doctor Lady.”

I smiled and exited the room. I never thought that I would perform an abortion. Sure, they told us in med school that everyone performs at least one and that we have to keep our professional demeanor- no matter our beliefs- but I thought I would be the exception to the rule. I was always the exception to the rule until now.

I grabbed the equipment and walked back into the room. I gave her a small smile and told her what to do. After the procedure was done, I placed the two month old fetus in a blanket to dispose of it later.

“Doctor Lady, what was it?”

“Honey, save yourself the hurt and pain. It’s out of our hands now,” I replied, using my adopted southern accent to get the point across

“Ok. Thanks, Doctor Lady.”

“You’re welcome.” I said with a small smile as I left her to change back into her street clothes. I bumped into someone on my way out. I muttered a quick apology and brushed past them. They quickly grabbed my arm.

“You’re not getting away from me that easily.”

I smiled at Kay. “Why are you? Where’s Andy?”

She laughed and pulled me into a hug. “Don’t worry, it’s just me, Rox, and Lexi- they’re in the car. When does your shift in?”

“As soon as I put this in the back,” I said, motioning to the bundle in my arms.

Kay looked at it quizzically, I knew that she was wondering what it was.

“It’s best that you don’t know. Wait for me right here. I’ll be back in two minutes.” She nodded and I ran off. I placed the bundle in a small freezer and shrugged off my white coat. I clocked out and ran back to where my best friend was standing. She smiled at me and brought me into a big hug.

Laughing, we ran out of the clinic and into the parking lot. It didn’t matter what my age was when I was with Kay, we always reverted back to our high school selves.

“Guess what, Emmy?!” Roxie shouted at me. “You’re going to be an aunt!” I squealed and hugged her tightly. All thoughts of the future were out of my head as I squeezed my sister-in-law.