Daisy

“I have to leave soon,” I whispered in his ear. He looked up at me, kissed my jaw and made a sad face.

“Why do you always have to leave so soon?” He replied with a soft voice. I sighed. I wasn’t really in the mood to have this conversation, again.

“I have to work, Noah. You know that,” I said. He nodded and pulled himself out of my arms. I lifted him up over my shoulder and walked towards the bathroom with him.
I got dressed pretty fast after our shower together. I said goodbye to Noah and walked out, towards the centre of town.

I had spent the past few days with Noah and it was time to go back home. I told Abel that I had to stay at a friend’s house, because I had to work for a bit longer. He never minded. I could tell him any pathetic excuse and he’d believe it. Or at least, act like he did.

You see; I have two boyfriends. Not because I can’t choose, because I know I can when I have to. But because I just can’t get enough. I can’t get enough of either. It’s quite satisfying, to know that I can do both two guys at the same time; without them noticing. Next to that, there’s this other guy, named Tyler. He’s just like me; not wanting to be with only one person. How can one person ever be enough? It’s quite impossible if you ask me. I think the guys that are married to only one person, not even looking at others anymore; they’re just unhappy. They’re not living their lives to the fullest. I am. And I’m not selfish, because I’m not hurting anyone with it. I wouldn’t give a damn if Noah or Abel just started dating someone else, without telling me. I wouldn’t care. I’m not hurting them because they don’t know. And if they find out eventually, I’ll just move on to the next one. I’m not ever going to stop doing what I do. I don’t want to end up unhappy and lonely somewhere.

I grabbed the key out of my pocket and opened the door to our apartment. I’ve been living here with Abel for about six months now. We’ve been dating for over a year. He knows how much I have to work, so he never stays up late for me. I quite like that, gives me time to take a shower; get Noah’s or Tyler’s scent off me. And when I was done taking a shower, I’d go towards the kitchen and find some leftovers that I’d warm up. Abel was a really good cook.

The only one that really wanted to move forward was Noah. He wanted to move in with me, but that was quite impossible. I can’t live with two guys in two different apartments, can I? I was worried that he’d find out, or that he’d leave me because I didn’t want to take things any further. But I’d still have Tyler.

After taking another shower, making sure every piece of clothing that smelled like Noah had been washed, and having some proper food, I walked towards the bedroom. I could hear Abel snore, which made me smile. He always snore in this cute, adorable way. Normally it would just be annoying, but his snore was different. You could just lay awake beside him and his snore would be like a lullaby; it wouldn’t take him more than five minutes to make you fall asleep.

I took my clothes off and pulled some sweatpants on, then I got in bed next to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him on top of me. He giggled and opened his eyes.
“Hi cutie pie,” he greeted me. I smiled and kissed his lips soft and gently. He wrapped his legs around mine and hid his face in my neck. We didn’t end up having sex that night, but I didn’t care that much. I was tired and I just wanted to hold him in my arms. Sometimes I was asking myself why I was cheating on him. I really, really liked him. Hell, I even loved him. But as soon as I’d break up with Noah, I’d have to tell Abel what happened. I just would have to. And he’d leave me. Of course he would. Who wouldn’t leave the guy that you’ve loved for over a year, but has also cheated on you for a year? And not even with Noah. I’ve had so many boyfriends in the time that Abel and I were together.
I’m not a slut. I just want to be loved.

The next day I took Abel to the beach. I knew how much he loved it. We did a romantic walk, with the holding hands part attached. It wasn’t my type of thing and I normally wouldn’t do it, but I was certain that I wouldn’t be caught. Noah was out of town, he was visiting his sister for a week. And Tyler was always down town, doing illegal stuff.

I sat down in the sand as I watched the waves. Abel laid his head on my shoulder, so I wrapped my arm around him. The cuddles soon turned to kissing, and the kissing turned to making out. I could notice a shadow coming closer, but I didn’t pay much attention to it. I was really getting into it and it might as well could’ve been a dog.

But it wasn’t.

“F-Felix…?” a soft whisper.

Abel pulled a bit back, but I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t want it to be ruin by some guy that knew my name.

“Felix? I-Is that you…?” a sniff.

I pushed Abel down further, moving my back more towards the direction where the sound came from. But it wasn’t much use. I soon got pulled apart from him.

“Felix?! What the fuck?!” it was Noah.

I already knew it was him. I knew how it sounded when Noah was crying. It was this annoying ringing sound.

“Who’s that…?” Abel said as he looked up at Noah, completely confused. I got up and pulled Abel up as well. Then I sighed and looked over at Noah.

“What do you want?” I thought it would be best if I just played like I didn’t know him.

“What I want? What the fuck do you think I want?! I want a fucking explanation, Felix!” Every person with brains could’ve known that that wasn’t going to work.
I was glad that Abel wasn’t saying much, I couldn’t handle two angry boyfriends at the same time. But it could also be a bad thing; he could be on Noah’s side.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about…” I frowned.

“You don’t kn-… I’ll tell you what I’m talking about,” and he turned towards Abel. This wasn’t going well. Fuck. “That guy, this… this guy that claims himself to be my boyfriend, is making out with you… some, some boy that’s probably even living with his mum!” Oh shit. Noah, what the fuck are you doing?

“You what?! I think you smoked something, mate! I’ve been living with him for six months! I think you need to get your stories straight.” Abel replied and grabbed my hand, pulling me away from Noah. Was he seriously believing me over Noah, who has been crying the entire time?

I didn’t get much time to think about what could happen next, all I could see was me being dragged away from Noah. And how much I hate to say this; but it actually hurt. I mean, I love Abel, I really do. But I think I’m feeling the same for Noah. It hurts so much to see him standing there, crying his eyes out, because of me. Because of what I did to him. I didn’t want to hurt Noah. I loved him, I really did. I wish I could spin back time. Not go to the beach, just go out on my own. I’d call Noah, ask him if he was still going to his sister and if he’d say no, I’d go to him. Spend some more time with him.
But I can’t do that anymore. It’s over. And I’m not even sure if Abel still wants me.