My Beautiful Mistake.

"No progress on your side?" I asked him over phone.

Its been three weeks since I got out of the hospital and had that disastrous dinner with Jake's parents. Jake is always either over at my house or on the phone with me now. We're moving to Stirling next weekend.

"None," he sighed. It hurt me like multiple pins pricking into my skin to see and hear him hurting. He and his mother weren't on good terms anymore, because of me.

"Only time she talks is when she's telling me to... you know the old story," he said.

"Yeah," I replied, with a thick voice, "to break up with me or convince me to get an abortion."

"She's just.. she'll grow out of it," he said, though sounding unsure to me, "so when do I pick you up?"

It brought tears to my eyes when I thought about the sacrifices he was having to make, without even asking him to. I'd seen this fiercely protective and passionate side of him many a times before, and it was perhaps the reason why I fell for him in the first place, but to see him like this for our baby was even more heartening to me.

"Half an hour?" I checked.

"I'll be there," he said, then after another parting 'bye' we both hung up.

"Jenna's still playing the icy witch?" Mary asked, painting my toe nails for me. It was Saturday today, so she was free to spend the day with me.

"I wouldn't say it like that, but yeah, pretty much," I said, examining myself in the mirror on my closet door.

"I've never seen you like this," she said, looking at me curiously, "checking the mirror every half an hour. You were never remotely vain before.'

"This isn't about me," I said, "look... here, you can almost see it now. I mean I can feel it, the bump."

Her dark blue eyes sparkled with interest. "Show me show me show me," she demanded, then put one hand over the slight bulge.

"You feel that?" I asked, "its tiny, still its something."

"Woah," she said, "I can actually feel my god-daughter or godson now. Ugh, wish I knew what it was, I keep having to refer to it as god-daughter or godson. Its kind of tiring really."

I grew silent.

"What?" she asked, sensing my solemn mood.

"Well I can find out," I admitted, "like right now. I'm going to the doctor's anyway."

She blinked. "That's great!" Rosa said as she walked in the room, handing both of us a glass of fresh lemonade, "we can start shopping from now you know, pink or blue. It really makes a difference."

She was all about expressing her artistic side, whether it was through cutting hair or decorating her niece or nephew's room.

"I'm not sure I want to know just yet," I confessed to her, "It should be like a surprise right?"

"It is a surprise," Mary said, "A surprise you've been having us live for more than three months! C'mon Jules don't be a spoilsport, just find out."

"Jake's here," I announced, looking outside the window.

"Hey don't do this... please?" Rosa begged, "Please please please please please????"

"No," I said.

"Another world war?" Jake enquired, as she came to drop me off outside, "what are you guys fighting about this time?"

"This girl says she can find out by the fifteenth week the gender of the baby but she's not in the mood apparently!" Rosa complained. Her childish enthusiasm got me wondering for a moment if she was a twenty one year old or two point one year old.

"Hold on, you aren't getting to know the gender?" he asked, confused, "but the Doc said last week we could."

"Well yeah," I admitted.

"And you don't want to know your own baby's gender?" he asked.

"Yep," I said.

"But I do," he protested, frowning.

"See this is three against one, your not winning Jules," Mary pointed. Jake gave her a hi-fi.

"Why are you guys so impatient? It'll be cool to just go with the flow for now," I reasoned, "I mean naturally we're not even supposed to know till the day of the birth. And I'm trying to keep this as natural as possible!"

"Too bad," Jake said.

"Okay how about this?" Rosa suggested, "Jake's going with you anyway, he can see the results, you don't have to. He can tell all those who are interested but keep you out."

That wasn't where I was heading for.

"No," I said, "Its going to be odd if I'm the only one who doesn't know about it and besides its not like you guys are going to be able to keep any secrets this big from me."

"I will," Jake assured.

"But how? You guys will keep referring to the baby as the baby but one day it slips out as 'he' or 'she' in front of me, then what?" I asked, thinking I made a pretty good point.

"Okay how about this," Mary suggested, "we'll either refer to it as an apple or an orange. Between us we know what to call it if its a boy, but you won't know. So for e.g I'll ask you how big the apple is getting and hypothetically if its a boy then we know I'm asking how big the boy is getting."

"That doesn't make sense in any world," I told her honestly.

"Its cool actually," Rosa said, "So apple if its a - ?"

Mary whispered something in her ear which Rosa carried on to Jake. I felt like I was in kinder garden all over again. Actually worse.

"Sure," he agreed, grinning at their inside game, "and orange if its not."

"Agreed," Rosa said, enjoying keeping me out of the dark.

"Its your decision that you don't want to," Jake reminded me, studying my grimacing expression.

"And I'll stand by it," I retorted.

"But your dying to know anyway," he guessed. I gave him a frosty glare.

"I am not dying to know," I hissed.

"Okay I am dying to know," I confessed when we were at the Doctor's.

"You're free to see if you want," Jake offered. I grimaced.

Stay strong Jules, its going to give you much more happiness when the baby is born when its a surprise. Something more to look forward to right?

He shrugged as the doctor spoke to him. My bed was slightly turned away from the monitor, and my head facing the other way so I didn't see the visuals.

"Ahh.. there it is," the doctor said, "you see that right over there?"

"Woah," he whispered, mystified, "its a - "

"Hold it!" I warned.

"I wasn't going to say anything," he said, grinning.

I couldn't not grin back. Entering the second trimester had put most of the discomforts of the first one away, thankfully. So what I ate these days actually stayed in my tummy, no more mood swings, and I was for the first time starting to really get the concept of the glow in the face thing people say about pregnant women. It was because I felt just so peaceful and excited...

"Its an apple!" he announced when we drove back to the collective "Awww!" 's of my best friend, her mother, my older sister, and even my dad. And Sasha.

"Mrs. Brown," I said, light heartedly ignoring them pouring over conversations of how great it was that a small little apple would be joining the family in less than six months, "Sasha! When did you get here?"

"My daughter's best friend's expecting a child and I can't come over to just see how you're doing?" Carol asked me.

"That's really sweet of you Mrs. Brown," I told her, hugging her.

"And your dad called us to arrange your baby shower," Sasha said, "I know its a long way away, but I don't think he's really going to be able to stand the six months. Plus we all agreed we should have it here before you leave for Stirling."

"You're right on both accounts," I said, "especially the first, it is a long way away.. and in any case I don't want a big fuss - "

"But we're going to make one anyway," Carol cut in, checking a notepad, "so Sasha you're going in charge of the eateries. Rosa dear can you take care of the flowers?"

Amidst all the planning, I suddenly felt exhausted. I caught Jake's eye, who was sitting and talking to dad about his career interests. He excused himself and made his way over to me. We walked up in silence to the balcony of my room to get some fresh air.

"Big, long day today huh?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied, "Jake... isn't everything going too fast? I mean I feel like I just found out about the child and now they're planning a baby shower and we're moving in a week..."

"Just go with the flow right?" he advised me what I'd said earlier today, kissing my shoulder encouragingly.

I turned slightly to face him and stood on the tip of my toes to kiss him, throwing my arms around his for comfort.

"I guess," I breathed inaudibly.