Coffee and Cigarettes

It’s been two months, count ‘em, two months since that talk on the beach about kids and since then, we’ve haven’t really thought about much of any kids. Maybe it was because we both got promoted to the bosses of our departments, which made us way busier than normal, not giving us any kind of down time at work that we used to have. Perhaps, it was that everyday after work we went to our faithful Coffee Shop. I don’t really know for sure, actually. Though Oliver just says it’s the sex we’ve been having. Excuse his crudeness. I beg to differ, but, maybe it’s true. The real logistics is that we’re too busy to talk anymore.

“What are you thinking about, that’s got your face all sad, but painfully annoyed like that?” Oliver said, softly, placing his arm around my shoulders, pulling me gently towards his body.

I snapped out of my day thinking, suddenly coming back into Earth, into our living room. Both of us sitting down on the couch, Oliver turned facing me. His grey-green eyes staring intently into my own eyes, expectantly waiting for my answer. I tried forming a sentence but, I couldn’t. I haven’t been this shy with Oliver, ever. He always brought out the spontaneous, adventurous, daring, confident side of myself. So why the hell was I transforming into my eighteen year old self again? I thought I could get over it when Oliver was with me, but I guess I was wrong…

“Honey, baby. Li, you know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Oliver said softer this time, his hand gently rubbing circles on my back and shoulders. He was trying to get me to talk. I honestly couldn’t hear him. I was more busy repressing my memories, my nightmares, my experiences…anything that would remind me of that year.

“Liam, can you hear me?” when I didn’t answer, Oli continued “Just know that our neighbors are saying that we fuck like rabbits. And we never leave the house except for condoms and work.” He said in his airy voice, chuckling at his own joke. I felt my own lips rise into a smirk, laughing along with him, making his face light up like a star, and grin wildly down at me. I grinned in return, blushing after realizing what he said. He suddenly held my body close against his chest for several minutes, until his chuckles calmed down. By then I was babbling/talking into his chest.

“Of course I know you’re always here for me, silly goose” I said poking his nose and grinning up at his beautiful face. “As for me, I will always be there and here for you,” I said pointing to his heart and his brain. “no matter what.” I smiled up at him, catching his lovingly gaze, then making him kiss my forehead. I scrunched my nose in return and kissed his cheek, smiling more than ever, blushing in the process. I hid my face in his neck, and Oliver swiftly pulling me into his lap, playing with my brownish locks. I closed my eyes and listened to him talk into the now thick air.

“It’s good that you truly know that I’m here for you, even if we don’t really talk like this a lot. Well, if you don’t count you and I talking in bed…” He made a face and looked down at me childishly.

“I don’t.” I said laughing at his facial expression, kissing his lips lightly.

“Well, I guess I get why you wouldn’t. It’s not like we’re saying things that we could actually say in public…”

“We could, Oli” I said while smirking up at him.

“But that Liam, would be a bit too kinky for the both of us.” He said grinning. And with that we both fell into a fairly comfortable silence, the sunrise beaming onto to our faces, looking into each other’s eyes and grinning like fools.

We were happy on cloud nine, that we had each other, and we would be happy if it was just us and nothing else.

And maybe, just maybe we didn’t need a baby or a new addition to our little family like I wanted.