Four Years

Alex's POV

December, 2008.

Everyone in the band and crew had been called and told to meet at me and Rian's house. Matt said he had some news that he'd want to share with us. He said that it wasn't the kind of news that was tweeted, sent in a text, or said over the phone. It was the news said in person.

Matt was late. Of course. The big news that couldn't be said anywhere else but in person by the one person that knew wasn't here.

"Where the hell is Flyzik?" Jack asked as he took a plate of nachos out of the microwave. Before I could open my mouth and respond with a smart comment about Matt being late, Matt walked through the door.

"Uh, guys, I have some big news," Matt said as soon as he stepped into the living room.

"What?" I asked, grabbing a beer out of the fridge. I opened it and drank it as Matt started explaining his big news.

"Fall Out Boy wants us on tour with them."

I spit my beer out all over the floor. Jack gasped and dropped his plate of nachos. That fuck. The cheese better not stain my carpet and - wait, what was I doing? Worrying about cheese staining my carpet? Who the fuck cares?

We were going on tour with Fall Out Boy!

"Are you fucking serious?" Rian asked, staring at Matt in complete shock. Zack was speechless. Well...more than usual. He was actually at a loss for words right now.

"Completely. Tour starts April third. But, we leave for California on the thirty-first of March," Matt smiled.

I looked at the guys, then back at Matt, then back at the guys. We all had huge smiles on our faces. We were touring with Fall Out Boy! We've wanted to tour with them since...fuck, since we started!

"Apparently Pete really likes your sound," Matt continued. I didn't care what he had to say. All I cared about was getting this information out to the fans. They'd be thrilled.

"Holy motherfucking shit fuck, I can't fucking believe this!" Jack yelled, jumping up on my couch. He jumped up and down like a little kid hyped up on too much sugar. "Fall Out Boy! Fall Out Boy! Fall Out Boy!"

The house erupted into a "Fall Out Boy!" chant. A celebration was in order. A serious celebration.

***

March 20th, 2009.

"Yo', I've had a lot of time to think about the tour...and, what if she's with them, dude?" Jack asked, looking at me with a serious look on his face. This was...different. He was serious. He was never serious.

"Who is 'she', Jack?" I sighed, muting the TV and turning a bit to face him.

"You know who she is, Lex...Rachel. What if she's with them?" He said, staring at me with hopeful eyes. He never got over her. He still had feelings for her. He had said he did. But I knew it wasn't true.

"What if she is?" I asked, rolling my eyes slightly. I was constantly putting up a front to show that I "was over her". Was I really? No. I would never get over her. She was the first girl I've ever loved.

"You can't tell me you don't still have feelings for her, Alex," He was taken back by what I just said. "You, the kid who had mental breakdowns for months after she left, is ov - "

"Shut up, Jack," I mumbled, unmuting the TV. I turned up the volume to block him out.

He snatched the remote out of my hand and turned off the TV before throwing the remote across the room. He stared at me with intense eyes, "Seriously, Alex. Just...I miss her. Don't you?"

I sighed, rubbing my face roughly, "Of course I do, Jack. She was my best fucking friend. I miss her like hell. But, dude, she's...gone. We'll probably never see each other again. I'll never get to see my kid. But guess what? I deal with it."

There was silence. Jack sighed and looked down at his beat up Nikes.

I couldn't stand this anymore. I got up and went to my room. I shut the door softly, locking it. I dragged myself over to my laptop and pulled up my pictures. All the pictures I had with Rae were on this.

I sadly went through each and every photo, remembering the story that went with each one.

I groaned and closed the browser. I couldn't have my feelings start to come back. I couldn't become crazily obsessed with finding her again.

I pulled open the internet, hoping to get my mind off her. Hopefully Twitter would definitely get my mind on something different.

I browsed my feed and noticed Pete Wentz had retweeted something. Curious, I clicked the link in the tweet. It led to some gossip site. I was a sucker for this shit.

It was pictures of him and his girlfriend. He was giving her a piggyback ride. I smiled to myself. It reminded me of when Rae and I would hang out. She would get tired and ask for a piggyback ride.

His girlfriend was pretty damn cute. She looked so young. Like...my age. Twenty or twenty-one. I stared at her in one of the pictures. I found myself smiling. Her smile was contagious. Pete was one lucky dude.

"Alex, open the door, please," Jack whined from outside my room.

I chuckled and got up, opening the door for him. He ran in and tackled me to the floor in a bonecrushing hug.

"Jack, get off of me," I choked out. He laughed and got up, pulling me up with him.

"I'm really sorry, dude, and - wait, is that...dude, are you really on US Weekly?"

Laughing nervously, I walked over and tried shutting the laptop when he stopped me. He stared at the screen intently. After a few moments of pondering, he spoke, "Does she kinda look like Rachel to you?"

Really? He just came in here apologizing for bringing her up, and he does this? But, she did kinda look familiar. I shook my head, clearing the thoughts, "Jack..."

"I'm sorry!" He whined, shutting the laptop. "Let's go party?"

I chuckled and shook my head at him. I couldn't believe him. "Call the guys. We're having a fucking party tonight."

He pumped his fist in the air and ran out of the room screaming, "Party!"

Life was pretty damn good.