Four Years

Rachel's POV

I literally bumped into Jack on the way back to the bus. Like, I slammed into his back and fell to the pavement. I groaned and stood, rubbing my sore ass. I think I might've broken my tailbone. Owwie.

"Oh, hey, Rachel," He smiled, wrapping me in an awkward side hug. "Do you wanna help Matt, Danny and I tape up our amps?"

"Tape your amps?" I asked, awkwardly walking with him to the stage.

"Yeah, you know how we've been doing the last four weeks of tour? Usually they say shit like 'balls, cock, fuck'. Something along those lines," He explained, grabbing some green duct tape from Matt. I also took a roll. "But tonight we were thinking of doing 'Home'."

"Awww, I like it!" I smiled, beginning to rip off a few long strips.

"Alright, um, Jack, we're gonna do H and O on these two amps, and Rachel, you and Danny are gonna do M and E on those," Matt explained, pointing Danny, Jack, and I in the direction we needed to be.

I ripped off strips and handed them to Danny, watching him apply them to the amps, "So, Jack, do you know when you're going on tonight?"

"Since it's our home state and shit, we asked if we could go right before Fall Out Boy. So that's when we're going. You better be watching us," He said, throwing a ball of crumpled up duct tape at me.

"And what if I don't?" I asked, smirking a bit.

"I will personally stop the show and come get you. Then I will duct tape you to that fucking pole right there," He answered, pointing at the pole right behind me. "And you will watch us and love us. You're also singing tonight with Alex. And Fall Out Boy."

"Woah, no, sorry. I will not be singing with anyone," I said, throwing the ball of tape back at him.

"Rach, more tape, please," Danny said, tugging on my shirt to get my attention. I turned around and ripped off three more long pieces for him.

I turned back to where Jack was, but he wasn't there. Where the hell was he? Suddenly, duct tape was wrapped around my head. I tried screaming, but I couldn't due to the duct tape over my fucking mouth.

I turned around and saw Jack standing there with his arms victoriously above his head. I glared and grabbed one of the three pieces of tape I gave Danny. Jack's eyes went wide as I started to come towards him.

"Rae, no, not my hair!" He shrieked as I tackled him to the stage floor. I wrapped the neon green duct tape around his head, much like he did mine.

Matt and Danny were both laughing as Jack and I laid there, trying to get the tape off of ourselves. I got up and ran backstage, Jack quickly behind me. I ran into the dressing room and slammed the door shut, locking it.

Jess was sitting on the couch with Gabe and Nate. They were all staring at me with weird looks. "Do you need help?" Jess asked, getting up off the couch.

I nodded slowly while trying to peel the tape off of my head myself. I winced at the pain as Jess quickly yanked it off my mouth. "We're gonna need scissors," She muttered. "Nate, Gabe, whoever, can you get me some scissors?"

"Scissors?" I squeaked, backing away from her. "You are not cutting my hair!"

"I've gotta cut little pieces, Rae. Your hair's already choppy enough," She said, rolling her eyes. She took the scissors from Gabe and snipped at my hair, getting the duct tape out. "There. You look fine."

"Spank ya'," I laughed, balling up the duct tape she had handed me. "Have you seen Pete and or Brendon?"

"Um, Pete is with Patrick doing some interviews. And I have no idea where Bren is," She replied, shrugging. "Who put the duct tape in your hair?"

"Jack," I sighed, throwing the duct tape in the trashcan by the door. "Speaking of Jack, gimme those scissors. I gots to get the duct tape outta his hair."

She laughed and shook her head, handing me the scissors, "Don't kill him, okay?"

"I won't," I giggled, unlocking the door and leaving. I saw Jack at the end of the hall with Alex, Rian, Kara, and...Lisa. Ugh. "Jack! Let's get that tape off of you!"

I could hear a muffled scream before he darted off, most likely out of the venue. I groaned and stuffed the scissors in my back pocket, beginning to chase after him.

"Woah, woah, woah, Rae. Hold up," Alex said, grabbing my arm. "We need to talk."

"About what?" I spat, yanking my arm out of his grasp. Yes, I was still so insanely pissed off at him.

"About how you're being a bitch," He said. I swear, in that moment, my world slowed down. Everything stopped and blurred in front of me. Did he really just call me a bitch? My happiness = gone. Why couldn't my happiness last more than a few fucking hours?

My mind instantly transported me back to the day in school when Alex called me a bitch after I left the cafeteria when I saw Lisa sitting with him.

"Wow, Alex, deja fucking vu," I laughed bitterly. I honestly couldn't believe he just called me a bitch. It was like we were seventeen all over again. "Fuck you. And fuck your fucking girlfriend, too."

I ran off, ignoring my name being called by Rian and Kara. Alex and Lisa were probably standing there in complete shock, stupid looks on their stupid faces. As I turned the corner, someone yanked my arm back, causing me to collapse into them. I looked up and saw Alex. That fucker.

"Excuse me? Deja vu? What the hell are you on, Rachel. I've never called you a bitch in my life," He growled, getting seriously close to my face.

I ripped my arm out of his grip once again and shoved him away from me, "Excuse you? What the fuck are you on, Alex? Do you not remember the day when you met Lisa? You called me a bitch."

His face turned to stone. He looked so emotionless and cold. "I called you a bitch?"

"You always seem to call me one when she's around," I pointed out, folding my arms across my chest.

"Because you always act like one when she's around," He said, with so little emotion, it almost killed me. He was right. Lisa brought out the bitch in me. Which wasn't that hard, considering I was a bitch most of the time. "I don't know what it is, but you need to fucking stop being so rude to her. All she wants is to be friends. Ever since the day she met you, she's wanted to get to know you. But you wouldn't know that, would you?"

"I don't like her and I never will, Alex," I said, staring intently at his face. It never changed. "She was the one who drove us apart. Do you not get it?"

He was silent. He didn't say a word. He just shook his head and walked off, back around the corner and back down the hall.

***
A knock on the dressing room door startled me, but I didn't move nonetheless. I just stared at the door and waited for whoever was on the other side to come in. They got the point and just opened the door. Brendon's head peeked in, and his smile fell right off his face when he saw me. He sighed and walked over to the couch where I was curled up.

"What's wrong, buttercup? Why do you look so upset?" Bren asked, sitting down next to me.

Wordlessly, I sat up and buried my head in his chest, beginning to cry. I just ruined a perfect thing. I was on the road to getting back everything I lost with Alex, then I blew it. I lost it all again. It's like I purposefully ruined whatever I had. I hated myself.

"What happened?"

I just shook my head and continued to cry. The thing I didn't like about Brendon is that he pressed too much. With Pete, I could just cry and cry and not have to explain a thing. I wished he was the one holding me right now.

"Do you want me to call Pete?" He asked after a moment of silence. It's like he read my mind. I nodded my head, wrapping my arms around him and pulling him closer to me. I needed someone to hug tightly and never let go. Brendon was the only one available. I heard him sigh and go through his phone. He waited a few seconds before speaking, "Hey, uh, Pete, can you please come to the dressing room? Uh, the one with the blue pieces of tape on the door. Uh-huh. Yeah, Rae needs you really badly right now. I'm not cutting it."

I couldn't help but to smile at that. Brendon must've felt my smile or something because he laughed lightly and pet my hair. I loved when people played with my hair.

Silence engulfed the room for a few minutes as we both waited for Pete. The door clicked open and I sat up, wiping my face.

Brendon awkwardly got up and let Pete sit down, taking his place. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He smelled so good. I never wanted to let him go.

"What happened?" He asked, I'm assuming Brendon.

"Uh, I don't know. I think it's got to do something with Alex," Brendon said softly.

"That explains why Alex is sitting outside the dressing room..." Pete muttered, petting my hair back.

He was sitting outside the dressing room? Why was he sitting outside the dressing room? I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want anything to do with him. He shouldn't be within one hundred feet of me.

"Do you want me to go talk to him to find out what happened?" Bren asked Pete.

"Nah, Rach will eventually resolve this," He said, dropping the subject. That's why I loved him. He knew what to do.

***

After my breakdown in the dressing room and crying for about two hours, I finally got up and decided to join everyone for a tour lunch at the Cheesecake Factory which was only a walking distance away. They had rented the entire restaurant out for this lunch.

I was currently seated between Pete and Brendon, across from Kara and Rian. Jess was seated between Kara and Patrick. Kara and Jess were wrapped up in their own conversations. Gabe was next to Pete. They were having their own conversations. Jack was next to Rian, who was holding a nice conversation with Brendon.

Jack must've got bored of the silence because he started up a conversation with me. "So, Rae, you gonna sing tonight?"

I glanced down the table at Alex and saw him sadly poking the tablecloth with his fork, watching as it crumpled up when he pushed it. Lisa was resting her head on his shoulder, blissfully unaware of how he was feeling and what he was thinking. I turned back to Jack, "Nope."

"Aww, why not?" He pouted.

"I just don't feel like it," I sighed, looking back down at Alex once again.

"Rae, c'mon, you gotta. It's our hometown," Jack pleaded, staring at me with those puppy dog eyes.

"No, Jack, it's your hometown. My hometown is Chicago."

"No, Rae, you grew up here. This is your hometown, too," He argued.

I rolled my eyes, "My heart ticks in time with Chicago. I was born there. I met Pete there. My life got better there. Why the hell do you think I ran back there?"

Jack sighed and stayed silent, knowing there was no way to argue with me. While I said this wasn't my hometown, apart of me was screaming that it was. Jack was right. I was too stubborn to admit it. Just like Alex said I was.