Destructive Cycle
one.
“Five more minutes…then I can stop,” she panted, feet hitting the floor, getting heavier and harder to move with each step. “Just five more minutes. I can do it.”
I don’t think you can though, sweetheart. You always say that you can do things, but look at yourself. You’re a failure.
Alyssa frowned, beads of sweat falling into the creases on her forehead. Her legs were burning from the exertion, muscles screaming for her to stop! stop it! please!
“I can do things. Look…look at me. I’m run…running,” her frown was still in place as she argued with, what her mother would call, The Voice. But Alyssa knew better. Alyssa knew that this wasn’t just a ‘voice’, it was her.
You may be running, sweetie, you may be burning all those nasty calories, but we both know you’re going to eat when you get back. You’re going to binge, aren’t you? You’re going to stuff your face with chocolate, crisps, and biscuits. Then we’ll be back at square one. You’ll have to run more and more and more. Maybe you should just listen to me for a change.
“Shut up. Shut up! You don’t know anything! You don’t know me!” She stopped running to scream at her, legs buckling, throwing her forwards onto the dirt track below. “Please, just stop it! I’m sorry!”
You’re always ‘sorry’, aren’t you? But really, Alyssa, if you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t be doing this to yourself. It’s dangerous, sweetie. Listen to me and you’ll be fine.
I don’t think you can though, sweetheart. You always say that you can do things, but look at yourself. You’re a failure.
Alyssa frowned, beads of sweat falling into the creases on her forehead. Her legs were burning from the exertion, muscles screaming for her to stop! stop it! please!
“I can do things. Look…look at me. I’m run…running,” her frown was still in place as she argued with, what her mother would call, The Voice. But Alyssa knew better. Alyssa knew that this wasn’t just a ‘voice’, it was her.
You may be running, sweetie, you may be burning all those nasty calories, but we both know you’re going to eat when you get back. You’re going to binge, aren’t you? You’re going to stuff your face with chocolate, crisps, and biscuits. Then we’ll be back at square one. You’ll have to run more and more and more. Maybe you should just listen to me for a change.
“Shut up. Shut up! You don’t know anything! You don’t know me!” She stopped running to scream at her, legs buckling, throwing her forwards onto the dirt track below. “Please, just stop it! I’m sorry!”
You’re always ‘sorry’, aren’t you? But really, Alyssa, if you were truly sorry, you wouldn’t be doing this to yourself. It’s dangerous, sweetie. Listen to me and you’ll be fine.