Just Come Running

“Mm that was fun,” I smirked, sliding my hands into the red-head boy’s back pockets.

“It was,” he grinned unashamedly, “I’ll see you later,”

“Maybe,” I shrugged.

The boy laughed and left my apartment, leaving me to shut the door behind him and walk into the kitchen. The only reason he stayed over last night was because I passed out from all the alcohol I had last night. Otherwise he would've been gone, just like all the others were. Fuck, it’s been two weeks since that party, and I’ve been taking Johnny’s advice very well. Every night I’ve been with a different guy or girl (mainly guys), and I’m loving it. Well, as much as someone who’s cut off their emotions can love anything. Johnny and Beth have been very quiet lately though, especially after I come back after a night out or after someone leaves my room. Not really sure why though.

Just as I was pouring myself some coffee, Johnny walked into the kitchen, frowning. I raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to talk. What is his problem?

“What’s happening to you, Drew?” Johnny asked sadly.

“What do you mean?” I frowned, stirring the sugar into the caffeine.

“Your behaviour for the last two weeks is getting out of control. This isn’t you, Drew. Beth and I don’t even recognise the person you’re becoming,” Johnny said.

“You know what’s funny, J? You’re the one who suggested I should move on!” I retorted.

“I said move on and have some fun, not become a whore,” Johnny snapped back.

A whore? Is that what they really think of me?

“Wow, J. Thanks for enlightening me on what good friends you and Beth really are. I’ll tell you what, just to make sure you won’t have to spend any time with a whore, I’ll go out again tonight. And I’ll live up to my reputation, bring a boy or two back,” I growled.

“Drew, don’t be like this,” Johnny groaned.

“Whatever, Johnny. Save your words, I don’t give a shit. And don’t wait up watching Desperate Housewives with Beth. I don’t know what time I’ll be back,” I sneered.

I snatched a chocolate bar from my cupboard and grabbed my mug of coffee before walking back to my room, ignoring Johnny’s pout. If he and Beth want to talk about me like that behind my back, then fuck them. I’ll do what I want, when I want.

*

I lit a cigarette before lying back down on my bed, watching the boy in front of me pull his boxers back on. Fuck, he’s hot. And so tight. Like I’d said to Johnny, I went back out to a bar and drank a bit, dancing with random guys until I bumped into this guy in front of me. Literally. He spilt his drink down my shirt and started apologising rapidly, but by that point I’d noticed how attractive he was and said I didn’t care about my shirt as long as he made it up to me by dancing with me. Dancing led to grinding, grinding led to kissing, and kissing led to me pounding his ass back at my apartment. So vocal. Just how I like it.

I didn’t really pay attention to the boy as I smoked my cigarette, taking my time to savour the toxic smoke. Fuck, that boy is beautiful. Should-length light brown hair, rosy skin, plugs in his earlobes, light blue eyes and pouty lips. And an incredible ass. What more could I ask for out of a one-night-fuck?

When I stubbed out my cigarette, I turned to look at him, only to see him staring at me, still only in his boxers. Uh, what?

“Um, d-do you want me to leave now?” the boy stammered, twisting his fingers in the material of his shirt.

I scoffed. “What do you think?”

“I-I don’t know, I’ve never…”

He trailed off, his cheeks flushing, and it took all of two seconds for my blood to run cold. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. He can’t be…

“You’ve never what?” I asked forcefully.

The boy stayed silent, his eyes pricking with tears. Fuck. Oh fuck.

“Finish what you were saying,” I demanded.

The boy sniffed but nodded. “I’ve never had sex before this,”

Fuck. I took his virginity?! I wasn’t even gentle! I was fast and rough – that’s not how a first time should be! Fuck! What’s happening to me? Since when have I been so uncaring? Since when have I been such an asshole? Since when have I been…fuck, no, I can’t be like him…

“The reason we hate Tyler so much is because he took Jesse’s virginity and left as soon as he was done. Then he acted as if it never happened. He’s stone-cold and never smiles,” Clark explained softly, squeezing Jesse’s shoulder.

“He really did that to you?” I frowned, looking at Jesse.

“Yeah, he did. I’ve never felt so used in my life,” Jesse mumbled.

Holy shit. Since when did I start acting like Tyler?!

“I-I should go,” the boy mumbled.

“Wait,” I said softly.

The boy bit his bottom lip and looked at me nervously. I sighed and ran my hand through my messy hair. I’ve got to do this. I owe the boy this much at least for being such a jerk.

“Stay. Stay the night,” I told him.

“Y-You really mean that?” he asked hopefully.

I swallowed heavily and nodded. I was only able to smile because of how relieved he looked. The boy whimpered slightly as he got back under the duvet, only making me feel more guilty. Fuck, if I’d at least been gentle he wouldn’t be hurting this bad. Fuck.

“In the morning, I’ll show you how your first time should have been. And then I’ll make breakfast,” I murmured, turning on my side to face him.

“Do you really mean that?” he asked, biting his bottom lip shyly.

Fuck that looks hot. Not the time, Andrew.

“Yeah, I do. I’m Andrew, by the way,” I said softly.

“Sean,” the boy blushed.

Sean. Cute name for a cute guy.

“Mm, goodnight Sean,” I smiled slightly, laying down on my back.

“Goodnight,” Sean whispered.

I didn’t hear him move to lie down though, so I opened my eyes to see why. He looked awkward and hesitant. For fuck’s sake. With a sigh I pulled him against my body, chuckling as he squeaked but smiling as he rested his head against my shoulder. I’ve got to get back to the person I used to be. I’ve got to stop being such a jerk and remember how I used to treat people. Maybe Sean could help?