We Change, We Wait

The soft sounds of whispering woke me from whatever state I was in, opening my eyes just a little, giving them time to adjust to the brightness of the room.

“Mom, he’s waking up” a soft male voice spoke.

I heard foot steps walk towards me, before a cold flannel was place on my forehead.

“John, what did you do to yourself?” a female voice spoke, immediately I knew it was Chris.

I wasn’t entirely with it, my head still felt like it was spinning, my hand hurt a little less that what it did. I was afraid to sit up, afraid to open my eyes even more, afraid of what they would say, what would happen.

“I messed up” I croaked.

I heard her sigh, she was unsure of what to say, I didn’t blame her, I never did blame her. It was entirely my fault.

“Open your eyes, John” she whispered.

With a little struggle, I opened my eyes. I gazed around the room, only to meet with Chris’ orbs looking at me with sympathy. Something in which I didn’t deserve.

“John, come help out a minute” she spoke loudly, causing me to flinch. “Sorry” she added.

The Little John I had once knew, was now a spitting image of me when I was that age, he had changed so much from the little boy I had once knew. He came around me slowly, before each of them helped me into a sitting position.

“Dad?” John looked at me, wearily.

I nodded and smiled softly.

His face was unreadable, at first I thought he was going to hit me or something, but he didn’t. Instead he just simply walked out. I should have expected him to react like that, I mean I would too, if my father walked out on me for most of my life. A loud slam that came from upstairs, which was probably John escaping to his hide away. I looked at Chris who just seemed to be sat there gazing at a spot in the room.

“Chris?” I spoke softly.

Her attention turned to me, her face showed some type of emotion.

“What John?” she replied, her voice cracking.
“I’m sorry” I whispered.