Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight

I have never seen Chretion stand up to his mother like this. I mean, I've seen him get pissed at her before, but he's never done anything like that. He's never told her what he does when they're not around.

And I think what shocked me the most is how he stood up for me, how he defended me.
It was like he couldn't stand hearing his mom talk about me like that and he'd tell her anything if it meant her stopping.

Maybe Nana was right. Maybe he did love me in a non-friendly way. I mean, he did seem to be a little too interested in my upper body when I had my shirt off to play soccer. But that doesn't really mean anything.

I was scared now, though.

What did he mean by saying that maybe it'd be better if he killed himself? Is he suicidal?

And the way he just walked away after saying something like that... who does that?

I'm also worried he's going to go out and get drunk and then do something stupid.

So that's why I followed him.

I didn't even go back to get my shirt. I just grabbed my keys out of my pocket and ran to my car, driving after Chretion, who was walking down the street. When I got even with him, I rolled down my window and called out.

"Chretion, get in the car."

"Killian, just let me deal with this on my own. I do this all the time."

"Do what all the time? Drown your suicidal thoughts with alcohol and pills? You think I'm an idiot? I am not letting you get drunk and go and do something stupid. Now get in the car."

"No, Kil, I don't want to be your burden anymore. You always put my needs before your own and it isn't healthy."

"No, it isn't, but neither is drinking away your problems every night."

"You're right, it isn't. But it's the only way I know how to deal with things."

"You can learn to deal with things differently. For example, talk to me. I am you rbest friend. Whatever's bothering you, you can talk to me about it. Don't keep it all bottled up. It's going to kill you."

"I can't!" he yelled. "I cannot be a burden anymore. All I ever do is hold you back."

"Chresh, get in the car." I said. "Seriously, we need to talk this out. You aren't a burden. I do this stuff because I care about you and because I want you safe. Just come back to my place and we'll talk about all this shit. Don't do something you'll regret later."

"I don't need a fucking lecture, Killian. I'm not a child."

"Really? Because you're acting like one."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, suddenly stopping, causing me to jerk the car to a stop.

"You're being ridiculous and stubborn. Just get int he car and stop running from your problems."

"I'm not." he said, crossing his arms. "I'm dealing with them the only way I know how."

"Just because it's the only way you know how doesn't mean it's the best way to deal with your problems. Why won't you just talk to me?" I got out of the car and went to grab his wrist, but he jerked it away.

"I told you. I need to start taking care of myself. I can't keep treating you lie my backup plan. You're too special to me."

"Chretion-"

"Stop! Just stop!" he suddenly yelled. "I don't need your help or your lectures and I certainly don't need you treating me like a child. Just let. me. BE!"

I reeled back as if he'd just slapped me in the face. "Fine. Fine, if you don't need me, then I won't bother you anymore. Go drink your problems away, I don't care anymore. But don't be surprised if I don't show up to help you pick up the pieces."

I got back into the car and slammed the door, taking the car out of park and getting ready to drive away.

"Kil, come on. I didn't mean it. I was just angry."

"No. I am not sitting here and listening to your excuses. Goodbye, Chretion."

And with that, I drove away, not looking back.

Fuck him. if he doesn't need me, then I don't need him either.

I wish that were true.