Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight

"Fine." Chretion said. "I'll go."

I stood there shocked for a minute. 15 seconds ago, I thought I'd lost him forever and now here he is, saying he'll give it all up and go to rehab, for me.

I reached out and brought him inside into a tight hug. He leaned his head into my neck and hugged back.

"You won't regret this." I whispered into his ear.

"I know." he said. "That's why I came back. I can't do it alone. Not just the rehab part, but everything. I need you in my life, Kil."

We stayed there, just hugging silently, holding each other close and never wanting to let go. I was so happy. He was going to rehab. He was going to get better.

"I'm glad you picked me." I whispered into his ear.

"How could I not?"

***

"'New Beginnings'? Seriously?"

I glared at Chretion, reminding him, as I'd been telling him over and over today, that he needs to have a positive attitude.

"I'm not being negative." he said. "It's just... the name is so cliché."

"It doesn't matter what it's called if it's going to help you."

"It's still a stupid name." Chretion mumbled, pouting.

"Look, we're just visiting. If you like it, we'll move you in tonight. If not, we'll find somewhere else. I don't want you stuck somewhere terrible."

"All of them will be terrible." he said. "None of them allow drugs or alcohol."

"Well, yeah. It's rehab. Supplying you with your fix isn't exactly going to help you get better, is it?"

He sighed and took my hand in his as we walked up to the automatic doors.

"You're right. I'm being difficult. This is going to get me off the drugs and then you can stop having to be my mother."

We approached the front desk and I cleared my throat to catch the attention of the young woman behind the desk.

"Hello!" she said, brightly. "My name is Michelle. Are you here to visit someone?"

"No, actually, we're hoping to take a look around."

"Oh, are you looking to check in?"

"Yes. Well, not me personally. I called a bit earlier. My name is Killian."

"Ah, yes, I remember now." she said. "And you must be Chretion."

"Yeah, that's me." Chresh said, a half-smile gracing his lips.

"Well, if you'll follow me, I can give you a short tour."

We followed Michelle around the first floor and grounds of the rehab center. It was all really nice and there was a pool outside, which was good for Chretion, because he used to love to swim. Still does, when he isn't too drunk or high to function.

Chretion seemed to be warming up to the idea of rehab. He wasn't looking like someone had just informed him he had a terminal illness, at least.

"Chretion, this is Jack." Michelle said, gesturing towards a boy who'd been sitting and talking animatedly with another boy. They both look to be about our age and they were both smiling up at Chretion and I. "And this is Elliot. They've been here about a month and are about to be allowed to leave. Why don't you talk to them about what the process is like?"

Chretion nodded and Jack and Elliot shook his hand, and then started asking him questions about what he wanted to know about life at New Beginnings.

"So, are you his boyfriend?" Michelle asked as we stood back and let the others talk.

I looked over at her and blushed. "No, we're just, um... really good friends."

"Uh huh." she said. "Well, I'm glad you're such a positive influence on him. Most people that come here don't have anyone who cared enough until it was too late."

"I couldn't let it get that far." I said. "It wouldn't just be him that got hurt."

"You really love him, don't you?" she said, looking at me with a sympathetic face. "I know how it is. My husband used to be addicted to practically every drug under the sun. We were just best friends back then, but I took him here and they helped him. I was with him the whole time, visiting whenever I could... And we fell in love. That's why I came to work here. It helped him so much, I just want to help other people."

"Do you think Chretion will be okay?" I asked quietly.

"Honey, with someone who cares about him as much as you do? He'll be just fine."

***

3 hours later we were back at New Beginnings, this time with a huge duffel bag full of clothes and a suitcase with Chretion's personal stuff, ready to check him in.

Michelle was with us again in the back office, getting all the paperwork figured out.

"Now, since Chretion is over 18, he can check himself into rehab, but his parents should probably know."

"They do." Chretion said. "I called them when we were on the way here."

"Excellent." she said. "Well, I guess now it's time for the ground rules. First of all, we're going to look through your luggage, just to make sure you aren't sneaking anything in. Once that's all done, you'll get your luggage back and be able to move into your room. You'll be assigned a counselor, who you'll meet with once a day, but is always available if you need them."

"Sounds good." Chretion said.

"When are visiting hours?" I asked, smiling over at Chretion.

"Well, after the first week, you are welcome between 10 am and 10 pm for no more than 4 hours at a time."

Oh, right. The first week. Chretion is not going to be happy about this.

"What about the first week?" he asked.

"The first week is often the most difficult time, so we do not allow visitors during that time to allow our patients to be able to get clean without having to depend on another person."

"What?" Chretion asked. "So Killian won't be able to visit until a week after I move in?"

"That's correct." Michelle said.

Chretion looked over at me, looking completely and utterly destroyed, like the only thing he had to live for was suddenly gone.

"You can do this." I said, resting a hand on his knee.

"We'll help you as much as possible." Michelle said. "If you're ready, we can bring Chretion's stuff up to his room and then, I'm afraid you'll have to say goodbye."

I grabbed Chretion's hand reassuringly and pulled him along with me up to what would soon be his room. It was just a normal looking bedroom, nothing too special about it, but not bad.

"You can decorate the room however you'd like, except paint and wall paper."

Chretion looked over at me and grinned. "Thank you." he said to Michelle.

"Not a problem. I'll leave you two to say goodbye."

Immediately after the door shut, Chretion wrapped me up in a huge hug.

I've never seen him look so... vulnerable before. It was like he thought that this week without me would destroy him.

"You can do this, Chretion." I whispered before kissing the top of his head and squeezing him tightly. "You're amazing, and strong and you can get through this."

"I thought I was doing this to keep you in my life, not have you taken away for a week." he said. I could just tell by his voice that he was pouting.

"Just think. One week and then I'll be with you for as long as you'll have me."

"Promise you'll come visit me the first day you're able to?" he asked.

"I'll be here at 10 am on Monday, waiting for them to let me in."

"Okay." he laughed out, pulling back a bit. "Thank you. For caring what happens to me, I mean."

I smiled slightly and hugged him again. "You don't need to thank me for that."

"What am I gonna do without you?"

"You'll be fine." I said. "I'll see you in a week."

"See you then." he said, smiling at me.

I put a hand on his cheek and smiled back, kissing his forehead before turning to leave.

"Wait." he said, stopping me before I got out the door. "Here."

I turned to see him holding his good luck bracelet out to me. I'd gotten him the bracelet on a class field trip to the aquarium in 3rd grade. He saw it on a rack that said it was a good luck bracelet and fell in love with it. He'd already spent all the money he'd spent the money his parents had given him on candy when we stopped at a convenience store at lunch. So I bought it for him. And he'd worn it every day since.

"Really?" I asked. "I'd think you'd be wanting good luck right about now."

"Yeah, really." he said. "I want you to have something to remind you of me."

"I'll be thinking of you anyway. You know that."

"I know, just... take it. I want you to have it. At least for this week."

"Thank you." I said, knowing how much it meant for him to give this to me.

"Just hurry up and go so this week can get started. The more I sleep through it the easier it'll be."

"All right." I laughed. "But it's two in the afternoon."

"Since when have I been one to keep a normal sleep schedule?"

"True." I said. I pulled him in for one last hug. "I'll see you soon. Stay strong, Chresh. You can do this."

He smiled and pecked my cheek softly, surprising me and making me smile. "See you."

I turned and walked out of the room, still smiling.

He kissed me. Well, not really, but still.

Life is beginning to look up.