Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight

Dear Chretion,

Surprise!

I know, I know. You hate me for knowing that you'd have to be in solitary confinement for a week and not telling you. But I hope this makes up for it.

I know this week will be tough for you and it's for the first time, I won't be there to help you through it. So I thought I'd write you a letter for every day we can't see each other. And when I said that there's one for every day, I mean it. Seriously. Otherwise, this idea will completely fail. I know you, Chretion, and I know that it'll kill you not to read all of them right now, but I'm asking you to do this for me. Okay?

All right, now that that's out of the way, I guess what I really want to say is that I'm sorry I can't be there with you. I know that you're doing this for me and now I can't even be there with you.

But I promise this is a good thing.

You might be doing this for me, but you have to be able to do it on your own. I won't always be there to pick you up when you fall, as much as I'd like to be. You need to be able to do this for yourself and on your own.

It won't be so bad. You'll see, this week will fly by.

Okay. I'm not going to do that. You can see right through that kind of fake reassurance shit right away. This week will suck and you know that already. I just wish I could be there with you, hold you together when you feel like falling apart.

But I can't.

You're my best friend, Chresh. Seriously, and I can't stand the thought of you hurting. I wish I could just take all the pain for you and could just get clean without all the withdrawals. From what I hear, they can be pretty nasty.

Yeah, I did my research. Call me a nerd all you want, but I want to know what you'll be going through so I can help you through it.

I know it doesn't seem like it, but this letter does have a point.

Each letter is going to discuss one thing that I think makes you an amazing person and best friend. Maybe by reading about why I like you, you'll learn to love yourself enough to want to give up the drugs for you, not just for me.

So here it goes.

Reason number 1: You know just how to cheer me up.

Whenever I'm upset about something, you know exactly what to do to make it better. Whether it be treating me to Taco Bell or McDonalds, or taking me to the park and pushing me on the swings like we used to when we were younger, you know exactly what I need to cheer me up.
Whenever you're upset, I would do anything to make you smile, and when you try so hard to cheer me up, it makes me feel like it's the same for you. Like you'd do anything you could make me happy.

It means the world to me that you care so much about my happiness. You have no idea.
I'm going to let you go now. You're probably having to do a lot of stuff you don't want to right now, but trust me- it'll be worth it. You'll go through hell and when you get out, it'll be like you're living again.

I'll be there in 7 days to help you through this.

See you then,

Killian.

PS- Don't do anything stupid.