Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight

Watching Killian leave almost felt as bad as watching him leave seven days ago, the pain only pacified by the reassurance that he'd be back tomorrow. 

Casey appears at my side out of nowhere and nudges my shoulder. "How'd it go? Was it great? Did you confess your love for each other? Did you kiss? I bet you kissed. Was it hot? I bet you got it on right here on this couch didn't you? I bet-"

"Casey, shut up." I laugh. "You would lose every single one of those bets. And, no, I didn't confess my love for him."

"Ahaaaa!" He jumps up and points at me accusingly. "So you admit it! You're in love with him!" 

I look around and make sure nobody is watching us before grabbing his wrist and yanking him back down next to me. "Yes, fine, I admit it. I love Kil. Now shut up before someone hears you."

"I knew it." He shrugs. 

"So, why make such a big deal about it?" I demand curiously.

"It's the meds." He dismisses. "Hey, you wanna watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? My sister brought me my DVD set yesterday."

And the rest of the afternoon is spent just like that, Casey's legs propped up in my lap with indifference, a certain ease to our friendship that reminds me so much of my best friend. I try my hardest to forget that he's not here but that little hole will always be throbbing in my chest whenever Killian isn't by my side.

To be completely honest, the night feels a little empty without a new letter to open but the promise of getting to see Kil tomorrow makes me so excited that I hardly notice. I feel like a little kid who's been told Santa Clause will come every night from now on. 



The second breakfast is over, Jonan escorts me and Casey to the med room to see Roger. "Alright, I'm gonna have you take your anti-anxiety mess early today Chresh."

"Wait, why?" I ask, taken aback.

"Just trying something new." 

"But why?" 

"Because I just think it's a good idea." Jonan answers. "I noticed that your anxiety picked up yesterday when Killian was here."

"No it didn't." I defend just a little too quickly.

"Just humor me." He insists.

Casey tugs on the sleeve of my shirt and rolls his eyes. "Take them and let's go." 

So I do. Because not only do I have to get ready for Killian's visit but I have to make sure Casey looks good too. I probably shouldn't care about what Kil thinks about my friends but I really do. I don't know how I'd feel if my best friend didn't like my new friend but I imagine that it would fucking suck. 

"Casey, what the hell are you wearing?" I demand as he meets me in the common room, a mere fifteen minutes before Killian is due to arrive. 

He stands in front of me in a pair of Jean cutoffs and a purple tank top. Casey is my height but is the size of Killian who, while healthy for his age, is still skinnier than almost everyone I know. 

Casey looks down at himself and shrugs. "Uh, clothes?" 

"No. Go change." I push him back towards the stairs quickly, following close behind.

"Why? I think I look fine." He says.

"Yeah, you do but not fine enough for Kil. You have to look perfect."

"Oh." He wrinkles his nose in disgust. "Is he one of 'Those People'."

"No." I snap. "I just- I need you to make a good first impression." 

Casey studies my face before nodding. "Okay, if it really means that much to you. How about a polo? Better?"

"No, it'll look like you're trying too hard. How about your MCR shirt? He loves them." 

"I dunno-"

"Put it on! I'll meet you in the common room!" I call over my shoulder, rushing back downstairs.

Jonan walks into the room the same time I do and smiles, motioning me to follow. I oblige all too eagerly as he leads me down the hallway to the guy I love my best friend. 

I beam when I see Killian again, butterflies coming to life in my stomach when he steps into my arms. I won't ever get tired of holding him. I wrap an arm around his shoulders, chancing the intimacy barrier. Kil assures me that it's okay by wrapping an arm around my waist and smiling up at me.

I drop a kiss on top of his head before I have a chance to catch myself and smile when he blushes. "What was that for?"

"Nothing." I shrug, leading him over to my favorite couch where Casey is sitting, tapping his fingers against his leg. He stands when he sees us, eyes widening. 

I take this as my cue for introduction and reluctantly pull away from Killian. "Casey, this is my best friend, Killian. Kil, Casey."

I notice that Killian's eyes are just a tad bit wider too and I wonder why my friends seem to be surprised by each other. Casey answers my question when he pulls me just a little bit closer and leans in to murmur something in my ear. 

"He is fucking sexy. I see why you love him." He teases.

I blush and shove him back down on the couch, sitting next to him and pulling Kil with me. He grabs my hand possessively and links our fingers. I don't mind in the slightest and scoot even closer to him, but I can't help but wonder what's going on in his head.