Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight

It felt so good to be with Killian again. I don't care if he was here yesterday or the day before that, the feeling doesn't go away. The stomach twisting, butterflies in your fingertips, kangaroo in your heart, heart in your throat feeling. 

The fact that I can have my lifelong friend and my new friend together is even better. I don't know what I'd do if they didn't get along. I love Killian with everything I have but Casey makes life here easier. Since I can't have Kil I'll settle for the second best thing. If Kil didn't like Casey I don't know what I'd do. I'd honestly do anything to make him happy though. All he has to do is ask.

"Dude, here's no way in hell that Superman is better than Spiderman." I argue to Casey, who just made the outrageous statement that Superman is the supreme hero.

Casey scoffs and turns on the couch to face me better. "He's a fucking spider. Who died! Superman is invincible!"

"Uhm, what about kryptonite? Yeah. Don't start that shit with me. Plus, Peter Parker was actually human. Hence his death. Superman is a fucking alien. He hardly counts." I argue. 

Casey let's out a frustrated sigh and turns to Killian. "What do you think?" 

Kil lifts his head from my shoulder and continues to play with my fingers. "Spiderman. Definitely." 

I smirk at the brunette and cuddle closer to Killian as he lays his head back down. I drop a kiss to his head before I have a chance to stop myself.

It's been really hard to control my feelings toward him. It's beginning to show more and more and I'm starting not to care. Killian has been receiving it really well and maybe even throwing some affection my way too. But what do I know?

As Kil pointed out, I'm not the best when it comes to emotions. I think it might just be better to let things to go as they are before making any rash decisions that could put what we have in jeopardy.

I turn my attention back to Casey. "You didn't expect my best friend to turn on me, did you?"

He shrugs. "I was hoping he'd be the sensible one of you two."

"Oh, he is." I insist. "Don't confuse my good looks for intelligence. Hell, how the fuck do you think I landed here?"

"Hey," Killian squeezes my hand and smiles up at me. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You're doing really good."

The butterflies spring into overdrive and I fight my natural instinct to kiss him for the thousandth time today. 

"Yeah," Casey pipes in, grabbing my attention. "You're coming along way better than everyone. There must be someone who-"

I cut him off by sending an elbow into his ribs. He let's out a grunt of pain before poking my side in the one place he knows is my weak point. I squirm away from him but he's having none of that. Instead, he lunges a me, tackling me onto Kil's lap and ticking my sides with reckless abandon. 

Before long I'm gasping for air and writhing in attempt to escape. Killian shoves him off me, a scowl set firmly on his lips. "What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you see that he can't breathe?"

Casey backs off and I lay across Kil's lap, trying to catch my breath. "It's fine, Killian."

"No, Chresh, he took it too far." He snaps. 

Casey stands up with a confused expression in his face. "Um, I'm sorry. I- um, I'll just go. I have stuff to do. I'll see you later."

He disappears somewhere and I look up at him. "Kil, what's wrong?"

He brushes his fingers through my hair and sighs. "Nothing." 

"Bullshit." I call, sitting up from his lap but still sitting pretty close. "What was that all about?"

"You couldn't breathe, I saw it on your face."

"Yeah, but how many times have you done that to me? It's just innocent fun." I shrug. 

He flushes a shade of pink that I find positively adorable. "I know but you bruise easy. I didn't want you to get hurt." 

I sigh and roll my eyes. I know he's lying and he knows I know he's lying. "Tell me what's wrong. You've been really upset today."

"No I haven't." He argues indignantly. I give him a look and he slumps in defeat. "It's my problem. I just- I can't add to everything you're going through."

"I have meds to help me with that. Let me be your meds. Let me help you." I nudge him playfully.

He smiles to himself and shakes his head slowly. "No, I've been, uh, dealing with this one for a while. Maybe later though. Hopefully."

He muttered the last part but I hear him clearly. I just wish he'd talk to me. Sometimes I want to be the one to take care of him instead of the other way around. If I only knew what it was though.