Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight

I can't believe that, that bitch!

She's never cared for Chretion as she should as his mother and she just kicked him out of his own home, all because he prefers guys to girls. Isn't a mother's love supposed to be unconditional?

I just hope Chretion doesn't let this get to him. He's been doing so well. I don't want him to lose all his progress just because his mother is a pretentious bitch.

I saw Jonan over Chretion's shoulder looking worried and I gave him a thumbs up, letting him know I've got this one. He smiled, mouthed "good luck" and turned back into his office.

I tightened my arms around Chretion and turned to kiss his cheek before pulling back, but kept my arms around him. I opened my mouth to speak, but Chretion cut me off.

"I'm okay. I've been wanting out of that house for a long time now, and I've always known that she was a shit mother. I'm just so fucking angry about what she said about you. What right does she have to insult you? You've cared for me more than she has for a long time now."

"It's okay." I said, trying to ignore the feeling in my chest when he defended me. "She's just a close-minded bitch. I've experienced my fair share of them in my time. Don't worry about me."

"No, it isn't okay. Just because it happens a lot doesn’t mean that it’s right.”

“Chretion.” I said, smiling. “You’re amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better friend. But I don’t need protecting, even though it’s nice to know you care enough to defend my honor.”

I laughed at Chretion’s proud expression, realizing I’d just made his day.

Then something from what he’d said to his mother suddenly clicked.

“Chretion…” I said, well aware that this could be a terrible idea. “What did you say before? About me?”

“What do you mean?” he said, looking adorably confused.

“Just now, when you were defending me to your mother.”

“Oh.” he said, his cheeks reddening. He looked down at his feet and turned away from me, taking his arms from around me.

“Chresh…” I said, trying not to get my hopes up.

“Not here.” he said, turning quickly and taking my hand, still not looking at me as he pulled me towards Jonan’s office, knocking quickly before throwing the door open.

“Jonan?” he called out.

“Yeah, Chretion?” Jonan asked, looking up from the paperwork on his desk.

“Can Killian and I go into one of the counseling rooms to talk? I need to… tell him some things that I don’t necessarily want to share with the entire common room.”

Jonan looked conflicted, but seemed to give in, knowing Chretion was having an emotional day. “Sure, just… Don't do anything that could get me in trouble. Or you, for that matter.”

“Thanks, Joey!” Chretion said, excitedly.

“And Chresh?” Jonan called before Chresh could pull me out of the room.

“Yeah?”

“Good luck.” he said, winking. What did Jonan know that I didn’t? Did he know what Chretion was about to tell me? Could it possibly be what I hope it is?

Chretion tightened his hold on my hand, turning to smile at me before pulling me down the hall and into a small, empty room, closing the door behind us.

“Chresh.”

“Shh, Kil. Come sit down with me and I’ll explain.” he said, smiling at me sweetly and leading me to the couch.

I sat facing him and saw a sort of embarrassed hesitation in his eyes.

“Chresh, what is it you said? I think I heard correctly, but I don’t want to get my hopes up over nothing.”

Chretion took a deep breath, looked at our interlocked hands and smiled slightly to himself before looking straight into my eyes and squeezing my hand gently. “I said something along the lines of ‘he’s sweet, and smart, and funny, and’” He broke off and looked away.

“And what?” I said, putting a hand on his cheek and making him look at me.

“’And fucking hot.’” he said, his cheeks looking like they could spontaneously combust.

“That’s what I thought you said.” I said, smiling widely and running my thumb across his cheek. “Did you mean it?”

“Kill you should know… I mean, you deserve to know… God, I had a whole plan for when I was going to tell you, but it all just seems silly now, so I’ll just come out and say it.”

“Please do.” I said, my heart rate picking up with the suspense. He looks so cute when he’s nervous.

“I love you.” he said, simply. “And not just in a I-love-you-like-a-brother kind of way. I’m in love with you and have been for some time now. You’re the one thing in my life I don’t think I could ever live without. I mean, do you understand how hard it’s been to have you back and to be able to see you again, without the drugs or alcohol in the way, but not be with!you? The moment you stepped into the center that first day, I just wanted to grab you and kiss you breathless. But I couldn’t, because you’re my friend, my best friend.”

“And how do you think I’ve felt?” I said. “Jesus, Chresh, are you blind? At least you’ve only had to deal with controlling these urges since you’ve been in here. Imagine having to do that for years. Ever since I hit puberty, practically, I’ve wanted to take you to the nearest warm, horizontal place and show you how much I want you. I’ve had to control myself when you get cuddly after a night of drinking. I’ve had to remind myself that you don’t feel for me like that and to do anything would be taking advantage. Fuck, Chresh… you have no idea how hard it’s been.”

Chretion was sitting there with his mouth hanging open in shock. I giggled at how ridiculous he looked and that seemed to snap him out of it.

“Killian, what are you saying?” he said.

“I’m saying that I love you, too, you idiot. Have done for years.”

“You love me?” he said, his eyes still wide with surprise, as if he couldn’t quite believe what was coming out of my mouth.

“I did just say that.” I said. “I love you, Chresh, and now I know you feel the same, I’ll be damned if I’m letting you go.”

It seemed to finally click in his mind and he smiled wider that I’ve seen him do in a long time. His eyes were warm and loving as he looked at me as if I’d just told him Christmas was now every day of the year. I was about to tell him so when he suddenly lunged forward and attached his lips hungrily to mine.

My eyes widened in shock before they slipped closed and I started kissing back, wrapping my arms around his neck to play with the small strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

The kiss was like none I’d ever experienced. It was gentle, loving and slow, and yet insistent, passionate and forceful. I could feel myself starting to need air, but I ignored the feeling, deciding this kiss was much more important than air. There was nothing more important at that moment than kissing Chretion like I’d been dying to for years.

When we finally separated, I looked at Chretion and decided that there was nothing more beautiful than he was at that moment. He still had his eyes closed and he was panting slightly, his lips and cheeks a bright red. He looked happy and peaceful and like someone who’d just been thoroughly kissed, which I guess he had been, and I felt an overwhelming sense of pride and joy at being the one to make him look like that.

“You can open your eyes, now, love.” I said, laughing.

“I’m afraid I’ll open my eyes and this will all have just been a dream.”

“Well, if this is a dream, I hope you never wake up.” I said and kissed him again.