Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight
Break this tired old routine, and this time don't make me leave
Chretion was doing incredibly well, according to Jonan. Apparently, he’d never seen a more willing candidate; and that means he’ll be out as soon as possible. It’s only taken him 3 weeks to break the habit and now he’s just getting used to living life as normally as possible in a rehab center. Chretion didn’t know it, but Jonan was gradually decreasing the dosage of Chretion’s anxiety meds, trying to see if he could handle living without them. So far, Chretion hasn’t seemed to notice the difference, which is good sign.
Now, al that’s left to be done is plan for the future, which, to me, is looking pretty good.
One thing I am concerned about is how Chretion will be able to handle dorm life. Don’t get me wrong- I trust him completely. I just worry about him going straight from rehab into such a tempting environment. I don’t want him to be stressed or get frustrated with everything around him.
I couldn’t think of what to do, though. If he wants to be in the dorms like every other normal college student, then I don’t want to take that away from him. I don’t want to make him think I don’t trust him either, because I do, I just don’t want him to have to deal with all of that so soon.
“You look like you’re thinking pretty hard over there.”
I turned from where I was sitting on the couch, staring into space, seeing my mom standing in the doorway.
“Yeah.” I said. “Just thinking about the future.”
“Wow.” she said, coming over to sit next to me. “That’s pretty heavy for a summer afternoon. What’s troubling you?”
“Well, Chretion’s going to Tufts, which is great, because we’ll both be in Boston, but not so much because I’m worried about how dorm life will affect him.”
“Oh, so you’re worried about temptation.”
“Well, not really.” I said. “I mean, I trust him to be able to say no, but I just don’t want him to have to be surrounded by it all the time. All the resisting will just make him stressed out, and I don’t want that to happen. He should have as trouble-free freshman year as possible.”
“So, you want him to be able to be close to school and to you, but far from the college trend of binge drinking and other… questionable activities?”
“Yeah.” I said. “He’s got enough to worry about without having to deal with this, too. His family just kicked him out of his home; he’s lucky he had a full ride at Tufts, or else he might not be able to go to college at all.”
Mom sat on the couch, not looking at me, or really anything, just thinking through the options. She seemed to come up with a few solutions, disregard them, and keep thinking.
After a while of this, she spoke up. “Well, it seems to me that the best thing to do would be to get an apartment for the two of you to share.”
“You mean ask him to move in with me.” I said, looking at her like she was crazy. “We’ve only been going out for a month. Isn’t that a little bit early to be moving in together?”
“Killy, you and I both know it’s not the same for you two. You’ve known each other forever.” she said. “But, if you really think that you two aren’t ready to take that step, just ask him to move in with you as a friend, just to be you roommate. Tell him you’ll have separate rooms and you’re not asking anything of him. It’s not really a commitment as much as it is Chretion doing you a favor. Boston rent isn’t cheap.”
“I know, but… what if he’s not ready to make that step? I mean, I'm ready to, and I want to ask him to move in with me as my boyfriend, but what if he says no?”
“Then you still have him as your boyfriend, and as your best friend, and you just move in as roommates. You said yourself he’s got enough to worry about. Let him take this at his own pace.”
I thought over the options. It really was the best solution. “Well, that would keep him away from having to deal with temptation all the time. And it’d be amazing for me as well…” I said, starting to warm up to the idea.
“Killian, think about it. There really isn’t a way you could lose. Honestly. You either gain a roommate or you and Chretion take a big step in your relationship and hopefully grow even closer.”
“You’re right.” I sighed. “Well… will you help me find a place?”
As my mom squealed and hugged me, spouting stuff about how her little boy was growing up, I realized that things could get back to normal. They really could.
Now, al that’s left to be done is plan for the future, which, to me, is looking pretty good.
One thing I am concerned about is how Chretion will be able to handle dorm life. Don’t get me wrong- I trust him completely. I just worry about him going straight from rehab into such a tempting environment. I don’t want him to be stressed or get frustrated with everything around him.
I couldn’t think of what to do, though. If he wants to be in the dorms like every other normal college student, then I don’t want to take that away from him. I don’t want to make him think I don’t trust him either, because I do, I just don’t want him to have to deal with all of that so soon.
“You look like you’re thinking pretty hard over there.”
I turned from where I was sitting on the couch, staring into space, seeing my mom standing in the doorway.
“Yeah.” I said. “Just thinking about the future.”
“Wow.” she said, coming over to sit next to me. “That’s pretty heavy for a summer afternoon. What’s troubling you?”
“Well, Chretion’s going to Tufts, which is great, because we’ll both be in Boston, but not so much because I’m worried about how dorm life will affect him.”
“Oh, so you’re worried about temptation.”
“Well, not really.” I said. “I mean, I trust him to be able to say no, but I just don’t want him to have to be surrounded by it all the time. All the resisting will just make him stressed out, and I don’t want that to happen. He should have as trouble-free freshman year as possible.”
“So, you want him to be able to be close to school and to you, but far from the college trend of binge drinking and other… questionable activities?”
“Yeah.” I said. “He’s got enough to worry about without having to deal with this, too. His family just kicked him out of his home; he’s lucky he had a full ride at Tufts, or else he might not be able to go to college at all.”
Mom sat on the couch, not looking at me, or really anything, just thinking through the options. She seemed to come up with a few solutions, disregard them, and keep thinking.
After a while of this, she spoke up. “Well, it seems to me that the best thing to do would be to get an apartment for the two of you to share.”
“You mean ask him to move in with me.” I said, looking at her like she was crazy. “We’ve only been going out for a month. Isn’t that a little bit early to be moving in together?”
“Killy, you and I both know it’s not the same for you two. You’ve known each other forever.” she said. “But, if you really think that you two aren’t ready to take that step, just ask him to move in with you as a friend, just to be you roommate. Tell him you’ll have separate rooms and you’re not asking anything of him. It’s not really a commitment as much as it is Chretion doing you a favor. Boston rent isn’t cheap.”
“I know, but… what if he’s not ready to make that step? I mean, I'm ready to, and I want to ask him to move in with me as my boyfriend, but what if he says no?”
“Then you still have him as your boyfriend, and as your best friend, and you just move in as roommates. You said yourself he’s got enough to worry about. Let him take this at his own pace.”
I thought over the options. It really was the best solution. “Well, that would keep him away from having to deal with temptation all the time. And it’d be amazing for me as well…” I said, starting to warm up to the idea.
“Killian, think about it. There really isn’t a way you could lose. Honestly. You either gain a roommate or you and Chretion take a big step in your relationship and hopefully grow even closer.”
“You’re right.” I sighed. “Well… will you help me find a place?”
As my mom squealed and hugged me, spouting stuff about how her little boy was growing up, I realized that things could get back to normal. They really could.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hahah, this might be a little rocky, since I just got back into writing for every chapter I update... We aren't used to that, what with all the prewriting we normally do, so I apologize if this is shitty...I've got a Remus Lupin/Sirius Black story up on fanfiction.net, so if you wanna check that out, click here and let me know if you want the rest of it on here as well. I was thinking about it, but I don't know if anyone really wants it on here.
Thanks to all of you guys who commented:
IntentToStartAFire
Emochick920
miss.sobriety (x2)
Skwahdala
hatsu-kouen2143
Jeska
matthuee.
and to the rest of you for subscribing!
<3 Casey
PS- Look how many new commenters we have!