Don't Fall Apart On Me Tonight

It didn't take us long to finish the mountain of Taco Bell and when we did Killian looked like he was about to puke. 

I lean over the table and poke his stomach which he's got propped up at an awkward angle. He whines at me and slaps my hand away. "Chreeeeeeetion, you're gonna make me sick." 

"No, I'm not." I object. "That was all you. I'm just trying to press it all in so people don't think I got you pregnant." 

His face flushes slightly before he shakes his head at me. "If food babies were legit babies, you would have indeed gotten me pregnant Mr. I-don't- want-a-lecture." 

I groan and run a hand over my face. "Let it go, Kil. Not only has the lecture been given but the food has been consumed. It. Is. Finished. Now, let's go home so I can kick your ass at Mario Kart before the party." 

His face looses all color and I fear that he's actually going to throw up but he shakes his head at me in disbelief instead. "You're going out again tonight?" 

"Well, yeah. Why not?" I shrug, standing to throw away our trash. 

"Why not? Let's see, well, the hangover you had this morning is a good reason. The fact that you would currently fail a drug test would be another." He argues, voice level raising higher with every word. 

I silence him quickly, annoyance setting in. Why does he always have to do this? "Killian, calm down. It's not that big of a deal. Can you stop being such a little bitch for like, two fucking minutes? I get that you're worried but I'm fine."

He glares at me before standing up and storming out of the restaurant. I instantly feel bad because as soon as the words are formed I know that they're not true. He gets as far as the door before I catch his arm and spin him back to face me. 

"Fuck you, Chretion. I'm just looking out for you! Can't you see that?" Killian asks, tears swimming in his eyes. 

I pull him out of the door to escape prying eyes and listening ears. "Yes, Kil, I see that. It's just-I'm a grown man-" 

"You just turned eighteen last month." He argues.

"Exactly. A grown man. I can make my own decisions and....it makes me feel good. I haven't had that feeling in a long time."

There's a hurt expression in Killian's eyes and I try my damnedest to figure out which words were wrong. He shakes his head once again. "What can I say to convince you to stay home?" 

"Nothing." I say simply.

"Fine," He says, defeated. "What time do we have to be there?" 

|~|*|~|

Tonight my intention isn't to get laid, like it normally is. Why? Well, I promised Killian I wouldn't and it's the least I can do considering the amount of shit I've given him to deal with today. 

I'd like to keep that promise yet who knows what'll happen when I shoot up? I sure as hell don't.

We walk into the party not knowing what to expect. This type of party varies depending on the dealer and the drug but as soon as you know those two things, it's easy to adjust. I notice three things: q-tips, spoons and needles. 

From this I deduce that the drug of the night will be Blow. A full out grin breaks across my face as I realize just how much fun I'll be having tonight. 

I grab the dealer from the crowd and pull him upstairs into an empty room in order to make the transaction. He hands me a small baggie full of the white powder before making me suck him off as payment. 

Honestly, it's a small price to pay, especially if his shit is as good as I've heard it is.

The guy who's name I've yet to learn after all these months hands me a lighter and a clean needle. At least I think it's clean. I can't be bothered to worry about that now. 

He watches as I slowly melt the powder into liquid and wait for it to cool before pouring it into the syringe. I dig the needle into my arm with swift precision and feel the effects of the drug almost immediately. 

My heart rate speeds up and I can't help but bounce out of the room. Dealer Man stops me before I get too far and takes the needle from my hand before letting me go again. 

My body takes control and it feels as if I'm watching the Chretion show from somewhere far, far away. I know that in the morning I won't remember anything I've done and that's enough to ensure that I don't care about what happens.