Half Broken

Wind rushed through my thick brown hair and my head fell back behind me. "Higher James!"

"If that's what you want, Ellie." I could hear the grin in my brother;s voice as he pushed me from behind, causing my swing to fly through the air. We knew 16 was too old to play on swings, but we did it anyway.

I squealed causing him to begin laughing. " You jerk!" I yelled playfully as I swung toward the clouds. James stepped in front of my swing as I went up and my eyes widened. "James! Move!" My brother just stood there as I propelled toward him at full speed. I closed my eyes, waiting for the worst. But it never came.

All of a sudden I felt myself stop, but only for a second before I felt gravity pull down on me. My scream echoed through the Autumn air and my eyes stayed shut tight. After the feeling of falling ceased, I finally became silent. My hands clenched whatever was under me and I refused to release my death grip.

"Ellie, you can open your eyes." I could hear the smirk in James's tone and my eyes snapped open to see him under me, his hair a mess from our crash landing.

"Am I alive?" I questioned softly. I looked down to see my fists holding onto my brother's T-shirt. I slowly let go and let my brown eyes meet with his sea green ones. He just stared back. Eventually it became a contest.

My eyes stayed locked on James's and after a while, began to water. Knowing I was about to lose I lifted one eyebrow, causing Jame's to snort and blink. "I win!" I exclaimed, jumping up.

"Whatever. You cheater.' My brother mumbled as I helped him up. I just smiled and we began walking home.

I looked around me, taking in my surroundings. I've been doing this a lot since James left me on Friday. I remember him telling me one day, 'Always look around you Ellie, there's so much to see. Observe everything while you have the chance because one day it might not be there. The only thing you will have left of it will be here.' My brother pointed to my heart.

James had always been so wise. Sometimes I felt like he wasn't my twin, but my older sibling who knew everything. I really do miss him. It's been five days and I'm finally beginning to let myself think of him.

I pulled my hands from the chain of the swings and looked down at them. Why do I do this to myself? I pulled up the sleeves of my jacket and examined my wrists, covered with healing wounds. Tears sprang from my eyes and I carefully climbed from my swing, beginning to head home.

I fell into my brother's arms the minute he came into my room. "Ellie what did you do to your hair?" He said, playing with my hair as he comforted me.

"Everyone keeps calling me Barbie at school. I just couldn't take it. They keep telling me I should be on the cheer squad and don't listen when I refuse. I don't want to be a cheerleader! I don't want to be called Barbie. I wan't to be called Elizabeth! They started calling me chicken for not joining and you know what? They were right. I am a chicken. I'm a freaking wimp! Every time I try to ignore something I crack I can't do anything right!"

"Ellie, look at me." My brother grabbed my face and made me look into his eyes. " I hate to see you like this. You're not terrible. You do so many things that people are amazed by. You're a wonderful piano player, you can read a book faster than anyone I know, and your the first girl I've seen knock someone out in one punch. You have your flaws but you know what? Nobody is perfect Ellie. Don't try to make yourself perfect.Promise me you won't ever think bad of yourself again. Promise you'll remember that as long as I live, I'll always love you, blonde or brunette."

"I promise." I said softly with a sniffle.

That was the last time I talked to the normal James before he disappeared.

I'm so sorry.