Status: New story. How do you like it?
Half Broken
Nightmares
"James don't!" I screamed as I saw what my brother was about to do. He was sitting on his bed, tears falling down his scared face as he held out father's gun to his head. His hands were shaking violently and he was just about to pull the trigger, just about to end his life. I knew I had to get that gun from him...even if it killed me. In an attempt to stop him without setting him off, I walked forward cautiously as if he was a small broken animal that had been abused without mercy.
"Come any closer and I'll do it," He managed to choke out. More tears fell to his already stained cheeks and he began clenching and unclenching his fist, allowing blood to drop from the wounds he'd made with his nails. "I;m serious." He whispered shakily, looking every but my face.
"James don't do this. Why are you doing this? You're supposed to be a protective, strong brother that never snaps no matter what happens. if you do this, who's going to protect me? Who's going to hang out with me at the park and finish my sentences? Who am I doing to stay up and laugh with all night about nothing? Huh? Why would you do this to yourself? To me? To our family? Why?" I screamed in frustration when my vision blurred but i stood my ground. I had to be strong.
"You think I want to do this? I don't! I fucking have to Ellie! I killed Aaron, it was my fault. How am I supposed to live? You can't take someones life and not get punished for it! It's not fair..." My brother screamed and I could see that his knuckles were white from how tight he held the gun. I knew I had to keep trying,
"So you're going to punish the people you love? Mom and dad will be devastated! They already heave money to worry about, they don't need a dead son; You're being selfish. Think about Aaron! He wouldn't want you to do this because it's fair. He would be so mad at you if he could see you! Think of how many people love you and how much you will hurt them. Life isn't fair James, and you can't fix that!" Tears started flowing from my eyes and my voice rose with every word. I had finally lost my cool. "Just get over it! I know you loved him but you can't kill yourself! You need to move on, you've been blaming yourself for three weeks. You haven't been yourself for almost a whole month! How do you think everyone around you feels? I've been so worried and I'm not the only one. You can't do this, it was an accident! The driver hit you. Go kill him for all I care, just don't kill yourself for something you didn't do!" My hands balled into fists and I tried so hard not to move but I couldn't help it. I ran at my brother, throwing my arms around him and sobbing into his shoulder. "Please James."
James's arms went around me limply and his body shook so hard with sobs that someone would think both of us had hypothermia. I tightened my grip on him and just sat there a few seconds before I realized he was still holding the gun. "James," I whispered. "Give me the gun."
My twins hook his head against my shoulder and when I tried to pull away, his limp arms became a restraining, iron grip. Thinking that he'd finally given up and calmed down, I relaxed in his arms with a sigh. I felt his ms go limp again as there was shuffling noise behind me and then a few seconds later they were back on my shoulder. "All better?" I asked softly, hugging my twin.
"Just remember, I'll always love you Ellie." That was it. Before I could think of why he said that so strangely,, he was gone. A loud bang sounded through the room as blood splattered across the navy blue curtains in the window. I screamed like I had been the one shot and my eyes snapped shut, not wanting to believe what had just happened. I opened my eyes and tears flooded them at the sight in front of me.
"Fuck! I hate you!" I screamed, clutching my limp brother's body. I didn't care that I was getting soaked in blood. I just couldn't let go physically or mentally. And I still can't.
I sat up straight in my bed, my hear racing like a horse. Why do I keep seeing this? Make it stop! Tears fell from my eyes and I slowly get dressed for school, not making any noise. I wasn't going to look for my parent's sympathy anymore. They're too caught up in their own worlds of depression to care or worry about me. Nothing matters anymore. Everything important to me is gone. All I can focus on is getting through the days.
I made my way to the kitchen grabbing an apple, as I walked out of the door repeating the old routine in my head. Bye mom, bye dad. Bye kids, be safe and come home, we love you. After doing this, I left for school.
"Come any closer and I'll do it," He managed to choke out. More tears fell to his already stained cheeks and he began clenching and unclenching his fist, allowing blood to drop from the wounds he'd made with his nails. "I;m serious." He whispered shakily, looking every but my face.
"James don't do this. Why are you doing this? You're supposed to be a protective, strong brother that never snaps no matter what happens. if you do this, who's going to protect me? Who's going to hang out with me at the park and finish my sentences? Who am I doing to stay up and laugh with all night about nothing? Huh? Why would you do this to yourself? To me? To our family? Why?" I screamed in frustration when my vision blurred but i stood my ground. I had to be strong.
"You think I want to do this? I don't! I fucking have to Ellie! I killed Aaron, it was my fault. How am I supposed to live? You can't take someones life and not get punished for it! It's not fair..." My brother screamed and I could see that his knuckles were white from how tight he held the gun. I knew I had to keep trying,
"So you're going to punish the people you love? Mom and dad will be devastated! They already heave money to worry about, they don't need a dead son; You're being selfish. Think about Aaron! He wouldn't want you to do this because it's fair. He would be so mad at you if he could see you! Think of how many people love you and how much you will hurt them. Life isn't fair James, and you can't fix that!" Tears started flowing from my eyes and my voice rose with every word. I had finally lost my cool. "Just get over it! I know you loved him but you can't kill yourself! You need to move on, you've been blaming yourself for three weeks. You haven't been yourself for almost a whole month! How do you think everyone around you feels? I've been so worried and I'm not the only one. You can't do this, it was an accident! The driver hit you. Go kill him for all I care, just don't kill yourself for something you didn't do!" My hands balled into fists and I tried so hard not to move but I couldn't help it. I ran at my brother, throwing my arms around him and sobbing into his shoulder. "Please James."
James's arms went around me limply and his body shook so hard with sobs that someone would think both of us had hypothermia. I tightened my grip on him and just sat there a few seconds before I realized he was still holding the gun. "James," I whispered. "Give me the gun."
My twins hook his head against my shoulder and when I tried to pull away, his limp arms became a restraining, iron grip. Thinking that he'd finally given up and calmed down, I relaxed in his arms with a sigh. I felt his ms go limp again as there was shuffling noise behind me and then a few seconds later they were back on my shoulder. "All better?" I asked softly, hugging my twin.
"Just remember, I'll always love you Ellie." That was it. Before I could think of why he said that so strangely,, he was gone. A loud bang sounded through the room as blood splattered across the navy blue curtains in the window. I screamed like I had been the one shot and my eyes snapped shut, not wanting to believe what had just happened. I opened my eyes and tears flooded them at the sight in front of me.
"Fuck! I hate you!" I screamed, clutching my limp brother's body. I didn't care that I was getting soaked in blood. I just couldn't let go physically or mentally. And I still can't.
I sat up straight in my bed, my hear racing like a horse. Why do I keep seeing this? Make it stop! Tears fell from my eyes and I slowly get dressed for school, not making any noise. I wasn't going to look for my parent's sympathy anymore. They're too caught up in their own worlds of depression to care or worry about me. Nothing matters anymore. Everything important to me is gone. All I can focus on is getting through the days.
I made my way to the kitchen grabbing an apple, as I walked out of the door repeating the old routine in my head. Bye mom, bye dad. Bye kids, be safe and come home, we love you. After doing this, I left for school.
♠ ♠ ♠
Meow