When Hope Begins to Fade

I watched Maddy as she watched some cartoon. I think she knew that I was upset when both girls went to Jimmy first. If they were my kids I was going to spoil them since I haven’t been in their life for six years. It wasn’t my fault though since their mother never told me. I’m not even sure who their mother is. I glanced over to Ali and Jimmy. Ali was watching the cartoon like Maddy was. Jimmy was talking to Johnny. I knew that they were probably Jimmy’s kids since they acted somewhat like him. I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair. Maddy glanced up at me.

“What’s wrong?” Maddy asked.

“Nothing.” I told her. It wasn’t like she’d understand anyway.

Maddy kept staring at me for a few more seconds before turning her attention back to the cartoon. I was getting bored of sitting but stayed where I was anyway. It wasn’t like there was much to do now since it started raining outside. I was starting to wonder if the girls did anything but watch cartoons. Since they got here that’s all they really wanted to do. I glanced over to Brian and noticed that he wasn’t glaring at either girl anymore. Michelle wasn’t by him either. I looked around the room to see that Matt and Val were also not in the room. I was wondering where they had went. I finally decided to get up. I told Maddy that I would be right back as I placed her on the chair. She just smiled an adorable smile before watching the television. I grabbed my cigarettes off the table and went outside in the rain. I went over to my car and got in. I left the door open so that the smoke would go out. I lit my cigarette and began smoking it. I watched as rain drops raced down the windshield. After about five minutes of being in the car I went back inside. I went into the living room and found that no one was now in there. I went into the kitchen and found Jimmy, Johnny and the girls eating sandwiches. I joined them at the table after fixing my own sandwich. Maddy was the first to speak to me.

“You said you would be right back!” Maddy exclaimed.

“I am back aren’t I?”

“Well now you are.” she replied.

We continued eating as Maddy talked to Johnny and Jimmy. Ali sat there quietly as she ate. She was really quiet and never talked much. I decided to talk to her.

“You don’t talk much do you?” I asked her.

She just shook her head no and took another bite of her sandwich.

“Why not?” I asked.

This time she shrugged her shoulders.

“Ali doesn’t really talk to anyone but me. She’s not use to you yet.” Maddy spoke.

“Are you ever going to talk to me? Or anyone besides Maddy?”

Ali looked down at the table them back up at me. This time she answered.

“Probably.”

“Well that’s a first.” Johnny said.

Ali blushed and kept eating her sandwich. I smiled at her when she looked over at me.

After lunch Jimmy and I played the Wii with the girls. They had never played before so we kind of had to teach them. Maddy had said that their mom didn’t buy them hardly anything. We were playing a carnival game and Maddy and Ali both quickly picked up how to play. Jimmy beat each of us though. Val came into the room and watched for a while before Maddy asked her if she wanted to play. At first she said no but Jimmy insisted that she did. Jimmy stayed for a while but then left the room. Maddy got bored of the game and asked what other games we had. I went through all the Wii games and she picked Guitar Hero. I asked her what instrument she wanted to play and she said guitar. Ali wanted to play guitar also. So Maddy was playing guitar and Ali bass. Val didn’t want to play but watched. I played the drums since drums and singing were the only choices left. Maddy and Ali once again quickly picked up on how to play the guitar for the Wii. Of course I sucked at drums since I usually played guitar. Val was smiling once we finished a song. I tried to get Val to sing but she didn’t want to. We played ten more songs before we had everyone including Brian and Michelle in the room. Each person thought they were good at playing. Maddy loved playing Guitar Hero but Ali soon got bored of it. Ali went and sat down by Val as I took guitar this time. Jimmy played drums and Matt was singing. Jimmy was going through songs to pick and stopped on one of ours. We began playing it. Half way through the song and Maddy was smiling wide. Once the song over she began jumping up and down and smiling.

“This song again!” she said.

“Why?” I asked her curiously.

“I love this song. Mommy use to play this song a lot. She said it was her favorite.” Maddy told me as she smiled bigger.

“Do you know who sings that song?” Matt asked her.

Maddy shook her head no.

“Really now?” Matt asked.

Maddy thought for a moment before shaking her head no. Matt began singing it. First Maddy was confused then she smiled.

“It’s you!” she exclaimed. Matt smiled at her.

“Yup. It’s our band.”

I looked over at Ali since she had been quiet the whole time. I realized why. She had fallen asleep.

A few minutes later and we were going through songs on a different Guitar Hero game. Michelle and Brian had left the room. Val was holding Ali now since she had woke up due to Maddy’s yelling. Matt was still singing, Jimmy drumming, and me playing guitar. Maddy didn’t want to play drums or sing only guitar. We played Guitar Hero games the rest of the day. The only time we didn’t was when someone had to go to the bathroom or when we ate dinner. It was soon bedtime for the girls but only Ali wanted to go to bed. Maddy insisted on staying up and playing Guitar Hero with us. Val had told her no and that it was bedtime. After minutes of arguing Maddy finally gave in. I took her to her room and put her next to an already sleeping Ali. Maddy smiled at me.

“Night Zacky. Love you.” Maddy said.

“Night Maddy. Love you too.” I told her as I smiled.

I closed the door and stood there for a moment. It was the first time Maddy said ‘I love you’ to anyone besides Ali. I was happy to be the first and was now hoping that they were my kids.