Without Doubt

Kari Lehtonen

I tossed my jersey into the bin behind me, as several of my lagging teammates creeped into the locker room. We had just come off of a regulation win against Chicago, but you wouldn’t know it if you looked at the team. Sluggish, whining, and complaining. Adam was practically passed out cold in Holly’s stall, forcing her to stand awkwardly in his to get changed.

I sat down on the bench, trying to re-lace my skates, while watching my teammate. Already taking her shower, she had a pair of shorts and the team Stars Hockey shirt on, and was attempting to pull a sock on one foot, balancing on the other. “Kari.”

I looked to my right, to see Andrew, our back-up goalie, looking at me funny. He glanced back to Holly, before shifting his focus back on me, a smile plastered on his increasingly-annoying face. You let one person on the team see something they can hold above you, despite you being taller than then, and they’ll never let it go. “Are you really going after Luich, man? You know she’s not going to go for you. She’s said it before, she won’t date a soul on this team.”

“Leave it alone, Andrew. I’m not interested in her.” He nudged my arm playfully, before standing up and heading for the showers. I set the skate in my bag, and snatched the other one up, a bad mood already setting in. Sneaking a peak at the female Star, I couldn’t help but wonder if what Raycroft said was true. Had she ever said that?

“We have practice at 8. Do not be late.” Coach Crawford barked over the now-bombarding media that flanked every direction in front of us. I was glad it was Brenden, both Jamies, Brad, and Trevor, because I probably wouldn’t have survived the suffocation the reporters put us under.

“Adam, wait!” I snapped my head up, to see the former-Blackhawk maul Holly into Benn, disrupting his interview, before they tumbled the other direction into the hallway leading to the tunnel. Their laughter filled the room, making Brenden groan and shake his head.

~

Next thing I knew, the locker room was nearly empty, and Adam had yet to return with Holly. “Get some rest, Kari. Hard practice tomorrow, so warn Holly and Adam.” I nodded to Brenden, who watched me just sit in my stall, before making his exit.

Decided on going to get them, and then just leaving, I walked into the hallway, only to freeze at the low murmur of voices. I leaned to my right, and stepped carefully down the hall, stopping before the final turn that led to the ice.

“I’m just so sick of going home alone. I want someone for me, who I can love and care for. I realize that that isn’t your thing, and you probably don’t get it, but I hate going home alone. I turn on the light, hoping, wishing for someone to be sitting there, waiting for me to come home to them. Whether that’s selfish of me or not, so be it.”

I shifted uncomfortably, the eavesdropping wracking my nerves. That didn’t stop me from listening to the conversation between my teammates about their personal lives.

“Holly, sweetheart, it’s not selfish of you to want that.” I felt my chest lurch, feeling as if a 2 ton weight had been placed in my abdomen. Why couldn’t I be the one comforting her? “Give it time, and I know you will find someone. I know it was rough with Sean, but maybe you don’t have to look very far.”

“I don’t want to date another hockey player. They have a bitch in every city, and don’t say they don’t, Adam Burish, because I’ve seen you, played with you, and room with you.” I could only imagine Bur’s face that this moment. He was proud of his actions every time, until he got called out on them. Still, the fact that she practically said straight up that she didn’t want a hockey player hurt. It hurt deep, deeper than it should.

I should have stepped away from the corner at that point, but Holly Luich was the one I desired, something that I wanted, someone I needed. I knew she only saw me as a friend, which was something that I would obviously have to live with.

I could remember Adam telling us what happened with Sean, so we didn’t bother Holly about it. He said she’d tell us eventually, even though she never did. I’d be happy knowing she was trying to forget about the whole thing, to be perfectly honest. Just the mention of his name angered me in ways I did not know I could be angered in.

Everything during the Rangers game, when Brad had to literally fight against me until the last second, holding my body away from ripping Avery off of her, and killing him, surmounted to everything. Ever since that day in October, we had become friends, Holly and I. Brad knew, and he, of course, told Brenden and Jamie, and ever since, my attachment had grown.

“Holly, I’m not saying sleep with every guy you know, but maybe give one a chance here or there. I know you don’t care for the relationship idea too much with one of us, but I promise you, once you go hockey-boy, you never go back.” Oh my God, did he really just say that?

I heard a soft smack of flesh against flesh, before she erupting into giggles. “Even if I did, he doesn’t like me back.” Adam’s laughter cutout quickly.

“Is he on our team?” He barely got the sentence out, before she was quickly countering him.

“I mean, of course not. That’d be crazy, right?”

“You are a LIYAH, Miss Luich! Come on, tell me who he is! I bet you anything its Bennie Boy!”

“Heck no! Jesus, fine, come here!” I could almost imagine her gripping his collar, and whispering into his ear who it was, only for him to distrupt my thoughts from his obnoxious laughter.

“Oh my God, are you serious? You don’t stand a chance in hell!” She remained quiet. Wrong thing to say to a girl, Bur. “Holly, I didn’t mean it like that! Goddammit, I’m sorry, I just mean that..”

“No, it’s alright, Adam. I know that it’s impossible. Just,” She paused, sending nervous butterflies into my stomach. The bad kind, mind you. “I wish it wasn’t. I mean, it’s clear as day, even Brenden talked to me about it, but then he just doesn’t even see it.” I backed away from the private conversation, gripping the keys in my pocket, searching for the nearest exit. I should have never gotten my hopes up.

Holly Luich

Tossing my sweat-soaked jersey into the laundry bin, hanging my equipment up, and pushing my skates back into the guards, I could finally leave the StarCenter and make the twenty minute drive to South Dallas.

I totally should have accepted Adam’s offer to move in with him. Pulling into the driveway of my apartment complex, I parked in a regionally vacant spot, and got out. I stuck my hand into the pickup bed, wrenching out my equipment bag, and tossing it on my back, ready to climb the nightmare of four flights.

Setting my items in the doorway, I quickly locked the door back, before bounding down the steps much faster than I had taken them going the reverse direction. Jogging towards the office that held my mailbox, only a few doors down, my trip came to an end.

Gripping the cool metal door handle that still reflected the unnaturally cool weather Texas was experiencing, I pulled the door open to the even cooler blast of air conditioning. “Ah, Holly, nice to see you up and about. Vicious game last night, eh?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at Mr. Harrington, the owner of the complex behind the desk. He loved hockey and the Stars, despite being from Montreal. “It was rough, but we pushed through. Hopefully we’ll be able to clinch the cup this year.”

“Hopefully so. Carey called, and he asked for you to call him back.” I nodded, heading towards my box on the wall. Carey Price is actually Mr. Harrington’s nephew, how came to visit frequently. He was a great guy, despite not being able to see him very often. “How are the baby Stars?”

I grinned, ignoring my mail for the moment as I thought about my old team. We had made it all the way to the Calder finals, with Jamie Benn, only to lose to the Hershey Bears. Damn Braden Holtby and his dashing good looks. Totally kidding, it was only somewhat distracting, but by the end of game 1, he was on my bad side. “They are doing fantastic! Eric’s hoping to get them to finals again, which I’m sure they can do.”

“Good to hear, sweetie.” He nodded, smile still on his face. I turned back to the metal box, onto to find it empty. Locking it back up, I looked up to see a mischievous grin on his face. “You got something special in the mail today, Miss Luich.”

Humming in response, I nodded absentmindedly, as he rushed into the door behind him, which was reserved for items not fitting in mail boxes. Moments later, Devon Harrington came out of the room, holding a narrow vase full of lavender, baby pink, and crème-coloured roses. There was a note placed between the buds. “If these are from Carey again, Mr. Harrington..”

He cut me off with a roar of laughter. “These are not from my nephew. He knows when he cannot win. Though if you’d like to reconsider..” He teased, wiggling his eyebrows at the mention of his nephew and I.

I giggled, carefully taking the vase and tucking it into my arms. “Thank you Mr. Harrington. Have a good day.”

~

I looked at the vase, and the unopened letter in my hands. The roses were still fresh, having only been delivered moments after I had gotten there, according to my landlord when I called and harassed him about who sent them.

Flipping the card over, I looked for the millionth time at the Dallas House Of Flowers script, and the small, black embellishment below, showing the numbers of the Dallas location. Inhaling slowly, I turned the card back over, and opened it.

Take a chance. You never know what might happen

Fucking Adam Burish, no doubt. I knew I should have never confided in that man. It was handwritten, however, and looked nothing like Adam’s chicken scratch excuse of handwriting. I opened my phone back up, dialing the not-so-familiar number of the florist, and jumped at the sudden pick-up of an elderly woman. “Dallas House Of Flowers, Part of the FD Family of Florists, this is Dianna speaking, how may I help you?”

“Yes ma’am, I received flowers and a card from someone at your business. I was wondering if you could tell me the person who ordered them.” I heard clicking in the background.

“Your address, Miss?” I rattled off the apartment complex address and my name, only to be met with more clicking.

“Yes, the delivery was requested last night to be completed at eleven thirty this morning at the location you provided. A credit card was used, however, on the order form, the person requested for their information to be kept private. I’m sorry, but I cannot give you that information.” She sighed, as confusion twisted my stomach into knots.

“That’s alright. Thank you very much.” She responded dismally, before I snapped the phone shut. Who the hell is going to send me flowers, and not tell me who they are?

I looked back at the note, and reread it. Adam couldn’t write like that, much less write anything remotely close to being that heart-wrenching. No one was around last night, when I talked to him, but there was no way..

Setting the vase on the counter where the sunlight could hit the glass, diffracting colours over the room softly, I trudged into my room, to tape the note to my wall. This was confusing.