Rabidity

Severus now sat in the one place his wished he didn’t, in the Headmaster’s office. The office of his old, and dear friend. Severus couldn’t help but feel a cold chill up his back every time he sat behind the desk, knowing this place should never be his. Even though he knew Dumbledore wouldn’t still be alive after all this time – he still felt his long time friend deserved more dignity than he had.

While Severus tried not to think of Albus he let himself lean back in the leather upholstered chair and start to daydream. Adrienne always quickly found a way into his thoughts. There wasn’t a moment he didn’t spare to think about her safety, comfort, or well-being.

He had tried to keep his distance since they had become intimate, granted it had been so difficult for him to leave and see her in pain. But his duty was here, and the further he was from her, the better.

Now time passed slowly, and days felt like weeks, and somehow he had made it through, one after the next. The Carrows tended to keep him on his toes; always there to administer punishments and detention while keeping the Dark Lord informed of any information about Potter. Severus hoped that Potter would never find his way to Hogwarts, but he also knew that was inevitable, like many things in his life.

Tonight however was a full moon, and it was the only time that Severus lied to find a way to sneak down to visit Adrienne. He would instruct Narcissa on how to complete a proper sleeping spell as to keep her from any pain that the full moon usually caused. And then after a late hour, Severus would slip in through the fireplace and stay by her bedside.

This full moon was especially bright, leaving little room for any man-made light. He could see her pale skin perfectly in the lull of the moonlight and even though he hated to look at it, he could see the small outline of a rounder stomach. Severus sat on the end of her bed, reaching out to perhaps… touch the spot where the tender child was still growing. But instead he stopped himself and chose to cradle her soft hand while she slept. Adrienne did not stir.

Narcissa however, did. She swept out of the small closet in Adrienne room holding towels and a pair of leather shoes.

“Things are better now, they’re better off. You’ve been gone. And he, hasn’t touched her since the baby.”

“Of course she’s better off.” He snapped.

“She misses you.” Narcissa said slyly.

“She shouldn’t.” he retorted.

“Well she longs for you, even though she shouldn’t. I can see it in her eyes.”

“Narcissa, if… I had a favor to ask of you…”

“I would owe you one I suppose.”

“Depending on the outcome of this war… I would like to take her away – somewhere safe, with or without the child.”

“Because he fate is almost certainly death.” Narcissa stated, everyone knew this.

“That is… the rumor.” He said softly.

“I think, I would be willing to help you with that.” Narcissa admitted, even though she wouldn’t admit that her feelings for the girl had grown exponentially. She was like a daughter in some ways. Narcissa had always wished for a blonde baby girl, but although she was happy with her only son, Draco. She would still pick out the robes she would buy if she had a girl as well. Now she found herself each day making sure the girl, along with the child had plenty of food. And Narcissa knew that she needed o be careful what she showed the girl, she was sure to give her what she could.

“Thank you.” He said gratefully.

“It’s good you care for her, she needs someone… you need someone, Severus.” Narcissa added before completely shutting the door leaving Severus with Adrienne’s softly slumbering body.

He knew that somewhere inside him what he felt for this girl was an intense feeling of love. And even though it was the scariest, and saddest feeling for him – he let it consume him on these nights. There was no one to judge him, no one to question him. He could be alone for just a few hours with his thoughts of longing and admiration. Tonight was no different, he could feel that narcissa meant it when she said Adrienne missed him… that she wanted him here with her.

Severus wished that he could give her things, return her feelings publically. He wanted to protect her, and the only way he could do that was to silently lock up his feelings and pretend they didn’t exists. But sights and sounds were different now that he knew her, and he would never stop doing what he could to protect her.

Severus ended up staying longer than he planned and decided to make a stop on the way back to Hogwarts. He kissed the top of her head for a long moment, wishing he could smell her freshly washed hair the rest of the morning. But with his immense self control, he left, and Adrienne began to stir only minutes later.
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With a few months behind her, Adrienne was now able to being to accept what was happening to her. She learned that her place was silent, that she must care for her child at all costs – which made her expect that when this was all over, she would disappear.

Now that a new school year had begun, Severus was no longer able to spend time with her like he had during the summer. Adrienne didn’t realize it would affect her so much as it did until she would find herself crying to sleep hoping someone was watching over her. Narcissa was the only person to really talk to her anymore – the men in the Malfoy household tended to hold a very cold demeanor, one that didn’t ask for friendly conversation.

So while she was alone, while she was left to think. She found that her brain would flood with thoughts of her professor and his well-being. It wasn’t until her belly started to get rounder that she realized everything was real. For the longest time she had tried to convince herself… but she couldn’t any more.

She started her day off with a healthy stroll through the changing gardens. The mountains around her were the soft color of orange and she couldn’t help but think this was her favorite season. She sat for a while upon the same large rock where she had disappeared with Severus several months ago. It made her think of him, he was probably doing things he didn’t enjoy… paperwork, administrative duties… not potions, not even teaching. She wondered if he was happy back at Hogwarts, she wondered if he thought of her at all.

With frustration in her head she walked back to the manor, and grabbed a small lunch to take back to her room. Upon arriving she instantly saw a pile of books laying atop her bed bound with a silk green ribbon. They were a collection of Bevarti Potion books. One was brand new, recently published, and another was a wizarding classic that many potion scholars enjoyed to read. And the last was the smallest, but perhaps her favorite of the three: ”rare magical ingredients, and how to find them.” Although he had a pretty good guess at who had sent them, her assumptions were only confirmed when she saw a light scribbling in the corner of the first page. ’for your incredibly bored brain.’

Adrienne smiled while pulling the book to her nose. This meant that Severus most certainly did think of her while he was away. She was undoubtedly bored, and without him, she was extremely sensitive. She wished every now and then that Severus would find her and steal her away into the night where they would never be found again. But Adrienne cared for Narcissa, and her family. Even if she didn’t know them that well, Narcissa showed her kindness, and Adrienne couldn’t help but feel like she had a mother again.

There were several things that Adrienne had never seen coming in her life, and perhaps it had all came upon her for a reason now. She didn’t feel so sad nowadays, but she felt worry, and she was often confused when Narcissa would instruct her on common pregnancy aliments. Adrienne wasn’t ready to be a mother, of course now that she thought about it – she wasn’t ready to die either. And although her love interest was obscure – she couldn’t imagine caring for anyone other that Severus. In the dark of the night he stole her away, which resulted in saving her life. And time and time again he sat by her bedside ensuring her safety while she slept. She hoped that even if things didn’t work out for her that her child would end up in the capable hands of Severus… someone who would raise a good, and intelligent child. Whatever she would do – Adrienne vowed to herself that this infant would not grow up by the hand of Lord Voldemort.