Rabidity

Adrienne woke up the next morning. She now felt slightly worse than she did yesterday. She started the day with painstaking nausea that wouldn’t seem to leave her. She tossed and turned until Narcissa brought her a breakfast that Adrienne wouldn’t touch. Today was Adrienne’s birthday, and she was sure that no one knew that fact but her. Why would they? The only one who did know had been her mother, and birthdays with her mother weren’t extravagant either. So why should that have made her feel worse? She remembered some birthdays; her mother would bake her pumpkin bread if she felt up to it. Then Adrienne would spend the evening reading and eating by the fire.

But now she could only sit and reminisce.

She must’ve seemed pathetic to so many. A schoolgirl… pregnant, and alone. She tired to tell herself that she didn’t need anyone to look out for her – all her life she had grown up with a depressed mother, and Adrienne had learned to deal on her own. But she had become so accustomed to Severus being here, protecting her, and now that she was sure he would’ve return, she couldn’t help but cry.

Adrienne tried to remember when she had that hard outer shell. She was able to keep anyone out – but it had grown soft of these past few months. She had spent time learning and loving – letting things in, letting people in. She could no longer ice her feelings or turn them away. For the first time in a long time she felt true pain. Her hands were cold, when they had always been so warm. She wrapped another sweater around her shoulders as she paced in her bedroom.

“You’re restless. You need to rest.” Narcissa said.

“I cannot.” Adrienne said.

“Whatever happened with him, you need to put it aside, you have things to take care of.”

“What!” Adrienne snapped, “This child he doesn’t even know about? Or take care of my will when they kill me? Which is it? What am I preparing for?”

All this time Narcissa had been caring for a sweet young girl, and for the first time since Adrienne had been here, Narcissa recognized a woman, a mother, someone who wished to protect their child.

“I do not know what you mean.” Narcissa hissed. “They will not kill you.”

“Of course he will! I’m useless to him other than this child he thinks is his. What am I good for now?”

“He chose you for a reason. You were chosen for this.”

“Only this.” Adrienne said. “He only wants her face. He doesn’t want me, need me, he only wants what is his, and in the end, I’m dead weight. In his eyes, I’m someone that stands between him and his child.”

Narcissa was silent, her lips were pursed, and of course Adrienne was right.

“Then we won’t let them.” Narcissa said. “We’ll claim you ours, we’ll hide you away, we’ll think of something.”

Adrienne looked at the woman before her, only now recognizing that the care she was showing was that of a mothers. Adrienne’s eyes became filled with tears as Narcissa’s hands held hers, pulling Adrienne against her chest she whispered: “It will all end soon.” Adrienne looked at her, seeing that in her eye’s Narcissa held fear, fear for what was to come.

At least if it ended, so would the pain.

“If something happened to me… would you look after the child?” Adrienne asked trying not to cry.

“I would see that Severus-“

Adrienne was shaking her head, “We both know the dangers of neither of us making it through, and he still doesn’t know, so he hates the child.”

“But if… the Dark Lord is defeated you can tell him.”

“Severus is gone, I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again Narcissa.”

“These last few months you’ve gone weeks waiting to see him, this time is no different.”

Tears slid down Adrienne’s cheeks. “No.” Adrienne said. “He hates that I care for my child, because he thinks it’s… it’s not his.”

“You didn’t tell him, did you?”

“No. But I wanted to, Narcissa, I refused to run away with him because he wanted to leave the child behind. He left so angry…”

“But if it’s all okay, don’t you see? Then you can explain everything once the Dark Lord is gone.”

“If I’m not here to explain Narcissa, that is your job. And everything may not turn out okay. Our fate rests in a young man, who no one can even find.”

Narcissa smoothed Adrienne’s hair while she sat, contemplating her fate.

“I’ll bring you some tea. And…” she paused to wipe away the only tear she had shed, “And we’ll deal with the future when that comes, but for now, you need not worry.”
______________________________________

Severus’s fists met his desk with an incredible force. Amycus had brought him several Gryffindor students, whom he believes to be associating with Mr. Potter. Normally these punishment sessions went a lot calmer, but Severus’s frustration with last nights event had left him in an incredibly bad mood.

He knew that these third years would know nothing of Potter’s whereabouts and reprimanded Amycus for wasting his time. He dismissed them rudely, and Amycus promptly pushed them out, and ordering brutal detention in the process for being no help to the situation.

And as soon as Severus was alone with his thought he couldn’t seem to drink enough Firewhisky to calm his shaking hands. He had kept his distance so well at first, he had never meant to let someone get close to him, not after the hurt he had experienced in the past.

It had taken so much courage from him to ask her to come away with him. They had already risked their lives together but what she was to him had never been made clear. He knew that confusion would be obvious for anyone in their position, but for the time being they were just fine with the happiness they found from each others company. But with a war growing closer every day Severus had to make his intentions clear, he wanted to take Adrienne away, somewhere far enough that the outcome of the war wouldn’t matter, and there they could live in peace.

But her blasted purpose had to be for an heir. He couldn’t stand to think that something could be born again from the Riddle family line. And perhaps if the child was any other wizard’s, he might’ve been able to agree to her terms. But with Tom Riddle’s child alive in the world, he knew that it was all-possible for another war to start, all over again.

Why he had let himself fall for her, he had no idea. He remembered his surprise when she had first hugged him, almost a year ago, from being so happy that she could properly do magic. His mind wandered to the first time they kissed, and how forbidden it had been, but it all lead to them being together – and Severus couldn’t remember a time when he was happier.

He was only able to stumble into his chambers after he had tried to drink his sorrows away. He fell onto his bed and fell asleep with all his clothes on, before he could drink a dreamless sleep potion.

But he was only awoken a few hours later by Amycus Carrow himself, informing him of the dreadful news that Harry Potter had been spotted in Hogsmead.