Rabidity

She settled he sleeping girl on the window seat, lining pillows on the edge before she knelt before Severus. She touched his face it was hot and feverish. He was unconscious, and perhaps not far from death. A vial rolled out from underneath his arm, she sniffed it – it had contained the same ingredients from the cauldron in the kitchen.

“Severus, can you hear me?” she asked, “Come back Severus, please come back.” She could see scars across his neck that had yet to fade, and several on his arms. She wondered what pain he had gone though because of her. She wondered if he suffered that night.

She ran into the kitchen and fumbled through drawers, she could do potions without magic, potions she was good at. She found a Bezoar that was the inadequate size she would need to fix the poison he had administered to himself. She took what essence from it she could and added it to a bit of Horklump juice before she began to heat them gently in an empty cauldron.

While she waited for her antidote to simmer she tried to scoop him into a more easily accessible position. She placed a pillow at his neck and straightened his legs. He was too heavy for her to lift onto the sofa, let alone upstairs.

All she could do was look at his solemn face. His face had a soft scruff growing on his cheeks and chin, his body looked weak, and tired. She wondered if Kieburn had ever gotten in touch with him, she wondered if he even knew he had a daughter. She checked on the potion once more before she began to nurse the tiny infant, who didn’t even have a name yet. She wanted to wait and talk to Severus. She didn’t know if he’d want anything to do with her, but she hoped seeing her tiny face would convince him.

She could tell that his breathing became more and more shallow as time passed. Almost as if the potion put him in a meditative state while his body slowly slipped out of this life. She tried not to cry, or become worried. If she couldn’t concentrate on saving his life, what good was she?

She left her fussy daughter to return to the kitchen to draw a vial of the antidote, green in color, rancid in smell. But they always told her the more pungent the smell the stronger it was against poisons. She knelt next to him again and tilted back his head to let the liquid fall down his throat, she watched his reflex swallow, and then she waited. She picked up the now wailing child and rocked her arms. Adrienne noted the pile of mail atop a table, letters from her, the Malfoy’s, professor McGonagall, the Daily Prophet, and the Ministry. He had avoided everything… for what? To mourn her? She wondered.

Adrienne managed to lull her daughter back into sleep. Now she could wait as his side and watch what happened. She hated how hexes and spells acted so quickly while poison took its time to wind through veins and do its work. It wasn’t fair to wait.

Adrienne kept hoping that a breath might pull in the oxygen around him. But none came; she could only keep his head in her lap and plead.

Adrienne remembered the day she found her mother. The woman had cared for Adrienne for nearly seventeen years before she gave up. It seemed once Adrienne was able to take care of herself her mother no longer had an obligation to stay.

With Adrienne’s father long gone, and her mother never nearly there; she had learned to cope quite well with the absence of love. But she remembered how much it had hurt inside to be left all alone. Being abandoned was the worst thing she’d ever felt – and if she had to experience it again she had no way out.

Remembering her mother was what finally broke Adrienne. She began to cry so much that she didn’t notice his eyes open. She felt his hand wrap around her elbow, and the other cup the hand that was on his face. He looked up at her, confused, but happy.

Now she cried even harder. Out of pure joy.

“It worked. I’m with you now.” She heard him say.

“No.” she shook her head. “You’re here, I’m with you now.”

He sat up, feeling a bit of nausea. She helped him cope with the uneasy feeling in his stomach by rubbing his back. He could smell her hair falling over his face, that lingering scent that he had missed so much.

He watched his hands shake as he placed them around her, only hoping it wasn’t a dream or some rare form of subconscious.

But he could touch her, feel her, smell her, hold her, see her, hear her…

He felt like he could lose his sanity.

“But we’re dead.” He said softly. Thinking this was surreal.

Then he heard the soft fussing of a baby. And he didn’t know what to think. But he tasted the bitterness of the Horklump juice on his tongue, the familiar film of a bezoar. And then all reality came back to him at once.

His turmoil, his loss, his attempt at death.

But he no longer felt the pain from before; he couldn’t for she had fixed it. She was really here, this floor was his floor at Spinner’s End it wasn’t imaginary, he was here still breathing. He felt Adrienne slip from his grasp, and he tried to hold on, hoping she wouldn’t wisp away into thin air. But she fiddled with the fussy bundle on the couch, and brought back to him a tired child, one tired of being awoken.

She still had tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face, one he adored. The child wined again and stretched once more before falling back asleep now that they were both silent. His hands still shook when she placed the child in his hands.

He saw the thick black hair, the long eyelashes, the tiny hands, all wound up in a purple blanket with silk ribbons. He couldn’t even bring words to his lips, he only managed to stifle: “the name?”

“She doesn’t have one.” Adrienne told him. “I needed you for that.”

Severus almost lost his breath. She needed a name, his name. She had needed him, of course through all of this he should’ve been there.

“I… I thought you were dead!” he said, his voice cracking. “I didn’t think you had survived.”

“Kieburn saved my life, I was hoping… he had gotten the chance to tell you before he-“

“-he died.” Severus finished, “unfortunately no. But Narcissa… she watched you-“

“She was there, but not for Kieburn’s part. She doesn’t even know.”

“This… this is my daughter?” he asked, pausing between each word.

Adrienne began to cry again, but with a grin still on her face, she nodded. “She has your eyes.”

Severus could only hold still as the child wriggled in her sleep. He watched as her face scrunched up in distaste, and then returned to a calm sleeping face. He was still sitting on his living room floor, unmovable. Next to him was the girl he thought he’d lost, but for the second time in his life, she had saved him.
________________________________________________________________

Eleven years later

On September 1st 2009, Severus Snape awoke to a screaming little girl. Her excitement radiated from her toes all the way to the tips of her long jet-black hair. Weeks ago Eliah Snape had received her letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Severus placed her under his arm as he carried her down the hall. The girl was still giggling from her fathers incessant tickling and teasing.

“You’re not going to get sorted into any house wearing your pajamas, do you understand?” Severus told her.

She looked at him wide-eyed for a moment, there wasn’t anything more in the world that worried her that being sorted, and Severus knew that, so he used it to his advantage, “So go on!” he said, “get dressed!”

He loved the way her feet pitter-patted down the hallway.

He shuffled his way down stairs to see a table full of breakfast. He watched Adrienne struggle to open the tea tin, hold her wand, and a second screaming bundle.

“Why didn’t you wake me earlier?” he asked.

“I figured I’d let Eliah have that pleasure.” She said smiling, Severus took the tin from her and gently lifted the lid, and for that he traded her the child.

“I left you a vial of your-“

“Yes my dear, I found it this morning.” Adrienne said kissing him quickly on the lips before she ran out of the kitchen.

“I could’ve helped you know.” He said calling out from the kitchen while trying to sooth his newborn son.

“I know you could darling,” she said coming back in the kitchen, she looked like she’d forgotten something.

“Sit down and eat with me, you’ve packed, and re-packed her suitcase. And I’ve double checked you.” He told her, “she’ll be just fine.”

Adrienne took a deep breath and sighed, “Of course she will. After all you’ll be there.”

“Ugh.” He grumbled. “Don’t remind me.” He said. Severus had made a few trips to Hogwarts over the summer as possible. He hated not waking up next to his wife, every morning, but she had convinced him he was good at teaching, and the best at potions, even if his tests were insufferable. So he did, he supported his family with a well-paying job.

They had left Spinner’s End some time ago, both not wanting to deal with the sad decay of the town, or the bleak memories. Now they resided in another small town not far from London.

Severus enjoyed the rest of his breakfast with a calm child in one arm. He mindlessly reminded her of small things she needed to remember until he returned. He did that all through King’s Cross station up until Adrienne hushed him with a soft kiss. Eliah was no longer excited, she just stood there, looking at the train.

“I change my mind, can I go with you instead?” she asked.

“I thought you wanted to take the train baby girl?” Adrienne asked.

“Well I did, but… I just want to go with Daddy.” she said taking his hand.

“Eliah, don’t you want to start making friends? The train is the best way to do that.”

“But what if… what if no one talks to me, or even likes me?”

“Well I am their teacher, and so help me, if anyone is mean to you – they’ll have detention for the whole year.” Snape said in his darkest voice.

Eliah pondered for a moment before she became excited again, Severus saw to that her luggage was loaded before hugging her tightly.

“Ever since you came to me Eliah, I’ve never been more happy.” He said.

“I know Dad.” She said trying to act all grown up, “You promise I’ll see you tonight, at the ceremony?”

“I would never miss it.” He said, “Now hug your mother, and get on that train.” Eliah hugged her mother and gave her baby brother a small kiss before she skipped off onto the train.

“You going to watch out for boys and bullies right?” Adrienne asked him.

“Boys? And Eliah? That’s not going to happen.” Severus said crossing his arms.

Adrienne nudged him with her elbow while they both waved at Eliah from the platform. Adrienne had begun to cry again before Severus spoke.

“Thank you, for Eliah, and for Sarin.” He said while peaking at the small infant in her arms.

“And for returning from the dead?” she asked.

“Yes. Thank you.” He said he looked at her and smiled for a long time, long enough to make her blush. “don’t forget I love you.” He said while kissing her forehead.

“I love you too.” She mumbled back into his chest.