I'm More Than Just a Cupcake Lover

Pat stormed back to the dressing room, tears threatening to spill over the edge. How could Garrett do that to him? He had never felt so humiliated and rejected in his entire life than when Garrett told him he hated him and pushed him away. It was all caught on the stupid buzznet camera in that stupid buzznet interview.

Pat sunk into the couch and placed his head in his hands, trying not to let anyone see his tears. Garrett; it was his fault that he was now crying. Pat heard the door open and a flood of random voices and conversations rushed to his ears. He felt a familiar hand on his shoulder and snapping his head up, his tears fell.

Garrett’s horrified expression met Pat’s teary gaze and Garrett felt his heart drop to his stomach. What hurt more was the anger that soon overtook Pat’s stare. Shoving his hand off of his shoulder, Garrett could only watch as Pat stormed off out of the dressing room. Garrett stood, feet glued to the floor, confused and a little hurt by what Pat had done. He had never seen the drummer so distressed or upset before and it hurt that Pat didn’t want to talk to him about it.

“You hurt him you know.” He turned to find Kennedy sitting in another chair in the dressing room.

Confusion spilled over his face, Garrett spoke. “How?”

Kennedy rolled his eyes. “Dude you rejected him. Any form of rejection hurts and then telling him you hated him? Pat’s upset, I think you should go talk to him.”

“It was just a joke.” Garrett tried to comprehend how he had hurt one of his best friends.

“I know that and you know that.” Kennedy began. “But do you think Pat knows that?”

Garrett felt horrible and after thanking Kennedy, he ran off in search of Pat.

---

Pat lay in his bunk on the bus, facing the wall and in a slight fetal position. Garrett’s words echoed through his head.

I hate you, more than anything.

At the time, he tried to smile along with it, knowing that when Kennedy said it, it was just a joke. But to hear it come from the one person he truly cared about, that shattered Pat entirely.

A noise from the front of the bus startled him and when he heard Garrett calling his name, Pat tried to make himself even smaller in his bunk.

“Pat? Pat! Come on man, I know you’re in here.”

The truth was Garrett didn’t know if Pat really was on the bus. He had been saying that every where he looked, trying to catch the drummer out. The bus was the last resort and Garrett was getting kind of desperate. He checked the obvious front lounge and slowly moved his way to the back.

“Come on Pat,” Garrett repeated. “Please? I need to talk to you.”

Hearing the desperation in his voice, Pat decided to give into him; Garrett did funny things to Pat’s better judgement skills. He shuffled around in his bunk, hoping to not only get a little more comfortable but for Garrett to just come to him. It didn’t take long for Garrett to find him. He felt the bassist pull the curtain away and heard him sigh in relief.

“Can we talk?” He heard Garrett asked.

Pat simply shrugged his shoulders in reply. Garrett knew he deserved this, it was probably humiliating for Pat. He knew how the older boy felt about him, it was kind of hard to miss. Sure, they had shared the occasional kiss here and there but it was all in the moment. He never meant for Pat to get hurt.

Sighing he pulled himself into the small bunk with Pat. He wrapped his arms around him and kept a firm hold when he struggled. When Pat finally gave up on squirming he sighed and let himself enjoy the hold for a while.

“I’m sorry for what I said back there. You know I was kidding right?” He murmured into Pat’s neck.

Shrugging again Pat made no attempt to hide the fact that it still hurt. He squirmed a little and this time Garrett didn’t make an attempt to hold on. Instead, he let the elder move even closer to the wall and watched as he didn’t even face him.

“Please say something Pat. Give me something to work with.” Garrett begged.

“You should go.” Pat spoke with a soft voice that quivered a little. “Rachel’s going to be here soon and she’ll probably throw another fit if you’re not there to meet her.”

Garrett’s eyes widened in disbelief. Here he was, trying to apologise and make things better and Pat was simply brushing it off. He wasn’t having it.

“She can wait,” he began. “This can’t.”

“I can wait. Your girlfriend can’t. Go and spend time with her, she misses you more than I do.” With those words said Pat turned to face Garrett.

Garrett held in a gasp at the sight of Pat; eyes red and puffy, cheeks blotched and a quivering lip. He felt him press his hands to his chest giving a gentle shove and whispering a ‘go’ as he did so. Garrett noticed the pleading look in his eyes, begging for him to just go and leave him be. Big, brown eyes, misty with tears that fell silently confronted Garrett, forced him to make a choice; his best friend or his girlfriend.

Pat needed to move on and pushing Garrett away was the first step. He needed to come to terms with the fact that Garrett was his straight, best friend who had a girlfriend. He didn’t need to make Garrett feel guilty or anything like that. He just needed to push him far away enough to make it seem like they were still friends.

“Garrett just please go, meet your girlfriend.” He breathed, his eyed cast downwards.

Garrett didn’t want to leave, not yet. He lifted the elder’s chin up and pierced his soul with his gaze. Garrett pressed his lips to Pat’s with a sheer forced that almost stunned the poor boy. Pat gasped in surprise and fought the urge to kiss back.

Pulling away Garrett spoke. “Let me have this. If you really want me to leave, I need to know what I’m leaving behind.”

Pressing his lips to the drummer’s again, Garrett hoped against hope that Pat would kiss back. And he did. A tentative, soft kiss that was small but meant so much. Garrett licked hesitantly at the seam of Pat’s lips and slowly pushed his tongue through when he was granted permission. The kiss was slow and languid, both trying to savour the moment for as long as possible; a dance that seemed to go on and on and that neither wanted to stop.

Garrett pulled away to press a small and lasting kiss to Pat’s hair, whispering another promise that he knew that he would never fulfill.

And so, Garrett left the bus to meet his girlfriend at the front of the venue... leaving a heartbroken Pat in his wake and guilty, unsettling thoughts in his mind.