I Want to Love and Back

Erin and I went to get coffee. I can't stop thinking about Cameron. It's different this year, we're different.
"So, E. How'd that thing with Kenny go?" I asked Erin.
"Uhhhhh. He's--he's nice and sweet and cute...he asked me out after we uhh..." she trailed off and blushed.
"I still don't know how you two can have really quiet sex in a bus with everyone asleep..." I chuckled.
"Eh. Magic" she said sarcastically. "How're you and John?" she asked.
"Eh. Not so magical." I sighed.
"What? Why?"
Then I told her everything about me and John and told her what happened with me and Cam awhile ago.
"Jerk. Well, I still think Cameron is the one..." she stated.
"I don't even know how we feel about each other yet..." I said as we headed back to the hotel. Erin stayed at the lobby cause Kenny was there. I ran to the elevator that was about to close, bringing Cam's and my coffee. There he was. His lanky body leaning against the elevator wall. My hands were full so I have no choice but to ask him to press the button. "John, can you press the button please?" I asked not meeting his eyes. "Yeah. What floor?" he asked. "Sixth. We're on the same floor, Cornelius." I rolled my eyes.
"Need any help?" he asked after he pressed the button.
"Gee, no thanks." I glared at him.

"Woah. Feisty." he chuckled. How can he act normal ugh. What the fuck is wrong with him.
"Stop it, John. You're giving me a headache." I groaned.
"Okay, I'll stop if you let me help you." I did. We walked to our room. He stopped at the door.
"See you in the club, yeah?" he smirked.
"Maybe.. Thanks by the way." I smiled.
"Yeah." he smiled back widely.
What the hell am I going to do with this boy?
~~~~~~~
After the show everyone went straight to the club while I went back to the hotel to change. I put on a red tank top, shorts, tights and my Vans then walked to the club.
When I walked in, my mouth dropped. John was dancing with a long-legged, tall, high heeled, gorgeous girl. Or should I say woman... I felt so furious I thought smoke was coming out from my ears. I mean, he could have just told me that the kiss meant nothing and he just wanted to play games with me. I was really starting to like him. Like really like him. Then there was Cameron… UGGGGH.
I sat beside Cam.
"Someone looks angry." he smirked. I nodded towards John. Cam glanced at them. "He's a dick. I told you." he stuck out his tongue.
"What are you, a ten year old?" I asked, annoyed and ordered two shots of tequila.
"Are you sure you wanna get drunk tonight, Sydney?" Cam asked as I drank my first shot. I took my second shot.
"I just need to unwind, Cam. Plus, why aren't you drinking?" I asked.
"I had two bottles of beer already." he sighed and continued to look worried.
"Tsk, you look so cute when you're worried." I giggled. Okay, I was officially drunk. Cam shook his head and chuckled. I ordered two more shots.
"Two shots and you're already drunk. Four? You're going to puke your guts out." Cam exclaimed as I took my third one. "
"Don't be such a cock block, Hurley." I giggled. and drank my fourth shot.
"I think you had enough, Syd." he warned, seriously.
"Aw, just one more pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeee?" I begged.
"I love you to death Syd. But if you order one more I swear I will wrestle you." he warned and shook his head.
"I love you too, you know." I smirked.
"You're clearly drunk, Sydney." he chuckled
“What if I'm not, Cameron? What if?"
“Yeah. What if…”
“I think I need air.” I said and started to stand up. I stumbled and almost fell when Cam grabbed me by the arm.
“Come on. I’ll come with you.” He said with a worried look.

“Okay.” Then we headed outside. I was so embarrassed because I stumbled as I walked. Cam just kept laughing at me. Our laughter stopped as we saw something that made my stomach drop.
John was kissing that girl he was dancing with. She was pressed against the wall by him, his hands all over her and her thigh wrapped around his waist. Cam stared at them.
“Let’s go, Sydney.” He said through clenched teeth and grabbed my shoulders.
“I don’t feel so good, Cam.” I said, my voice weak and hoarse.
“Who would? That asshole better know what’s coming for him.” he said angrily.

We arrived at the hotel and rushed to our room. I ran straight to the bathroom and puked my guts out. My shirt was soaked. Cam crouched beside me and started rubbing my back.
“Remove your blouse and put this on.” he offered me his tank top. I removed my blouse, not really caring that Cam was there. I mean he already saw me naked right? I was about to grab the top from him til’ I puked again. Cam rubbed my back and held my hair up. “Don’t think about it too much.” he said soothingly. I started to cry. Cam held me against him even though I smelled of alcohol and vomit. I buried my face in his chest. After my half-naked breakdown, I told Cam I needed to shower. He went out of the bathroom and said “I’ll be here if you need anything, okay?”
I couldn’t believe what John did tonight. He was a complete dick. He shouldn’t have led me on. I liked him enough that it hurt. I felt so stupid and naïve. I felt like I only want to eat ice cream for the rest of my life. I put on Cam’s tank top and my shorts when I was dry. I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy from crying and my cheeks were redder because of the alcohol. I tried to smile. Great, I look like a retard or a pedophile. I went out of the bathroom and saw Cam stand up.
“Are you okay now?” he said with concern.
“I-I guess.” I sat on our bed and he sat beside me. After a moment of awkward silence, he cupped my face with his hands. I stared into his brown, wonderful eyes. “He doesn’t deserve you.” He said softly. Then he was leaning in. His lips were suddenly on mine. It seemed wrong at first, but it just felt so right. I gave into the kiss and kissed him back. Kissing Cameron is one of the best feelings in the world. It just felt so good. As if you won’t regret it…ever. Our kiss got hungrier, my hand playing with his thick hair. I can feel his hands all around me. I missed kissing Cam. That morning when he told me he didn’t want anything to be at risk in our friendship and it would be for the best that we act like nothing happened the previous night left me broken. I fell for him. I fell for him hard. And I guess I just don’t want John like I want Cameron.
We pulled away with smiles on our faces. “I missed kissing you…” I smirked.
“I missed it too…” he grinned.
We laid down on our bed. We faced each other.
“Sorry for the tears.” I smiled weakly and added “Thanks Cam” I touched his cheek.”
“Anything. Anytime.” He grinned.
As we began to fall asleep, I said “I still want you, Cam.”
“I’ve always wanted you, Sydney.” He replied.