Somewhere I Belong

The world spun around me, I heard voices, chattering, yelling, screaming. I saw faces, glowing with excitement, eyes sparkling like stars. For one moment, it was real. I was there. In that moment, I was living at last.

Then the lights went out.

I felt a rush spread across my whole body, my heart racing, my fingertips tingling. And in that moment, everything stopped. The world stopped turning, time stopped ticking on and on, my heart stopped beating.

Only when I heard a voice I knew all too well did my world come back to life again, as everything sped up, becoming faster and faster until I felt as if my head would explode, yet it still kept going, racing on and on and on....

Until the curtains fell down, exposing a stage piled up with band equipment, speakers and strange lights of some sort, not to mention six men.

Not just any men.

My heroes.

I felt like I was going to pass out, like I was going to drop dead right there and then.

But I didn’t.

I felt too alive to die right now.

All of a sudden, I realised what I wanted in life. I didn’t want to go home, after this magical evening, and end my life for good. I wanted to live. I wanted to do something with my life, make a difference. In ten years time, I’d be the one standing up there on that stage, singing my heart out.

I didn’t want to die, I never had done. I just felt like I couldn’t cope, I felt like there was no other way. Things were getting worse and worse, and I couldn’t cope any more. I just wanted to be able to see my boys, right there, in front of me, then I could die happy.

But that’s not going to happen now.

Because I’m not going to die.

I couldn’t believe how blind I’d been.

Before tonight, I’d always felt like a freak, like no one understood me. People thought I wasn’t as good as them just because I was different. I’d be walking down a corridor at school and hear yells of, “Fucking emo freak!” and “Go kill yourself, loser.”

But I wasn’t there anymore. I was here. The only place I’d ever belonged.

I’m somewhere I belong now.

I didn’t have to die. I didn’t have to disappear. I could make it through.

I could be someone.

I could do something.

I could make my boys proud.