Love Like This

The awkwardness of her social skills was evenly matched with the way she dressed. In short, she looked like a nerd, but no one could blame her for being who she is. There were times when she’d be so talkative it was easy to forget just how shy she really was. Even the most common of human interaction could intimidate her and she was weary around those people. With boys, this was only intensified. She’d stutter and her hands would sweat as her face flushed. She was constantly embarrassing her.
He was confident and his entire being showed it. He was one of those boys. One who wore skinny jeans and v-necks; he played in a bad. His persona was exuberant and she liked to watch him in secret, taking note of what he was like while being painfully aware he would never notice her.

Charis wore her hair up more than down; braids and ponytails were a constant, really. She walked through hallways unobtrusively, her head down and books clutched closely to her chest. He was the opposite, quite ostentatious, talking and making eye contact with everyone. Not Charis though; it seemed she was invisible to him. Until they collided.

“Whoa,” John said, “you okay?”

Charis’ face flushed brightly as she stammered to apologize. It seemed as though everyone was staring at them – at her. John bent down, starting to pick up her books as she stood there, high embarrassed.

“Not your fault,” John said, shrugging. He handed her the books. “Here.”

“Thanks,” she muttered.

John grinned and Charis almost melted. His smile was goofy but infectious. “My name’s John.”

“Charis,” she whispered.

For the rest of the day, she was in shock and when someone said her name, she smiled because she could hear him saying it. John had said it almost as if it were a secret – soft and delicately, handling it with care. It was just supposed to be a crush, harmless but it seemed dangerous. John certainly wasn’t a dangerous boy but he was reckless. He drank, he smoked, and God, he was a musician. A smart musician she countered. He was graduating this year, though he was really just a junior, like her. That alone made her crush justifiable, though his eyes gave her the same heart-stopping feeling.

Charis had younger siblings while John had an older one. While she knew what it was like to watch over someone, he knew what it was like to be watched over. Stephen Gomez was a senior. He was they shyer of the two brothers, more observant, but more hostile. He had seen the hallway collision and laughed as he saw Charis’ pink face, but sobered up when he saw the look on John’s face; infatuation. John could be careless with girls and the ones he dealt with were at least capable of handling that. With Charis, he wasn’t so sure. Stephen didn’t know much about her other than he shared a few classes with her; she was shy but smart. A deadly combination if you were to ask Stephen.

“John!”

“Hey, Stephen,” John greeted his brother.

“I saw you run into Charis today.”

“Yeah, I,” John paused, “Wait, do you know her?”

Stephen shrugged.”I have some classes with her.”

“Oh, she’s a senior then?”

“No, a junior, just really smart. I saw the way you looked at her.”

“Yeah? So? Do you like her or something?”

“Or something,” Stephen said dryly. “She’s different than the others.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that she’s different. She’s not like the other girls you’ve been with. She could get hurt easy, y’know.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” John said softly.

Charis wasn’t a complete loner like Stephen thought. She had friends, or at least a friend. Macy Green was also smart, but not as scholastic as Charis. Macy was more outgoing – or at least, wouldn’t get nervous as soon as someone so much as paused near her. As far as friends could go, they were the best. Macy even knew about Charis’ crush on John, and Charis made a point to keep that private.

Since the run in, Charis had been thinking of John more and more; it seemed as though he was going back to his usual self, which meant she didn’t make it on his radar. It wasn’t as if Charis thought she and he had an instant connection, but after being noticed by him, she surely did not want to be ignored.

He had an affinity for music; Charis had known this for a long while, knew his band and when they were playing a show. She’d heard the band’s music but she had yet to see them play. To see him play, where she could ogle him easily would be fun. She wanted to go, but it seemed too odd, but was more so, was when she was actually going to the show.
It was peculiar, thinking that she would be going to the show, to see John play in his band for the first time. But then, it was normal, because Macy wanted to go. She wanted to go and have a "real concert experience," and somehow convinced Charis to go along. Charis was sure it had more to do with Macy wanting to somehow get Charis and John together. She knew his friends. She knew his brother. She knew the words and the music. She even knew the venue that the band was playing at. What she didn't know was if she would have the courage to talk to John if he ran into her again.

Charis wanted to run in to him. She wanted to be bold and brave; courageous enough to simply be able to have a conversation without her hands becoming clammy or his face becoming flushed. The simple effects of what John could do to her were horrendous. Macy could talk to boys; Charis was envious of this skill. She knew that if she did run in to him, however, she would clam up; muttering and stammering instead of speaking like a normal human being.

John was backstage fiddling with his guitar strap, a simple twist in the back infuriating him. Beside the younger boy was the singer, the blond and peppy Brian Dales. He was practicing scales, singing even more obnoxiously than he would be on stage.

“Brian, shut the fuck up,” John groaned.

“What’s up with you?”

Stephen grinned. “I heard this chick convince John’s crush to come tonight. He’s nervous.”

“Crush?” Josh Montgomery said, coming into the room. “Who has a crush?”

“John,” Jess, who had been sitting on the couch, piped up. “Who is she?”

“No one you know,” John muttered.

“Snappy.”

“It’s this junior girl, Charis something or other,” Stephen quipped. “Super smart?”

“Brown hair? Kind of red, though?” Josh asked. “Always wearing it up?”

“That would be her,” Stephen confirmed.

“Do we really have to talk about this?” John asked.

“Is it embarrassing you?” Brian countered.

“A bit, yeah.”

“Then of course we do.”

John had never been so nervous to play a show before. The Summer Set was gaining a good fandom, they had their regulars and a few stragglers who were almost totally there just for the headliners, but afterwards, they had formed a good opinion about the young high school band. He fumbled with the pick, his movements too rough as he looked out in the crowd, looking for the girl he had only had one encounter with. When he saw her, John smiled, more to himself than to her, though. He tried to pull it together; he didn’t want her to perceive him as a sloppy musician. He was serious about the music; he didn’t want anyone to ever think less of his aspiration.

Charis was in the back of the venue. It was small and she could see, so she didn’t see the point of pushing through a crowd to get closer. Not when these were kids she went to school with but didn’t really know. That would be embarrassing. Macy stayed close, but left eventually “to get drinks” and had yet to come back. Charis watched with a smile as at first John seemed nervous, and then, as he spent more time on stage, his movements became quick and easy, as if he had done it a million times before. Perhaps he had.

Sweat was pouring off of him, hitting against the stage, his guitar, and various other parts of his body. His shirt was sticking to him and Charis watched with fascination. He didn’t seem bothered by it at all. His hair was sticking in different directions and his tongue was out of his mouth, he was deep in concentration. This was his zone and seeing him in it made him all the more appealing to Charis; sexy even.

As the show came to an end, the fans crowded out and Charis was left in the building, looking for Macy, who was her ride home. When she didn’t see her friend anywhere, Charis began to panic. Then she heard the clear of a throat from behind her and slowly turned around. John was standing there, his left hand brushing up against the nape of his neck as he regarded Charis.

“Looking for someone?”

“Um,” Charis said quietly. “My friend Macy, she’s my ride home and I can’t find her.”

“I,” John said slowly, “I can give you a ride, if you want.”

Inside, Charis was screaming, her heart was doing flips, her stomach acrobats. She was excited but nervous. Finally, she choked out, “Okay.”

John grinned at her, flashing his teeth and he licked his lips slowly, but Charis tried not to dwell on what she wanted to do after he did that. He grabbed her hand slowly, leading her back through a door.

“I just have to tell my brother I’m leaving,” he explained. “He can get a ride home with someone else.”

Charis just nodded, choosing also, to stay outside of the room while John took care of what he needed to do. When John came back out again, he smiled, softer this time, and Charis returned it.

“Where do you live?”

“Hummingbird Lane,” Charis said.

“I live near there,” John said. “Off of Grant and 6th.”

Charis nodded again, climbing in the passenger seat of the car. For a boy’s car, it was relatively neat. There weren’t junk piles or anything like that in it. It surprised her because of John’s personality, she would have thought his car, and although places in his life, would be chaotic and messy.

“Did you enjoy the show?” John asked.

“Yeah,” Charis said quietly. “Your set was really good.”

“Thanks,” he was quiet as he turned down her street. “Which house?”

“The green one, right here.” Charis pointed and he stopped in front of it.

“I’m glad you came tonight,”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” John said awkwardly. “I didn’t know you knew about the band.”

“Everyone does,” Charis said. “Why did you like the fact that I came?”

While surprisingly her face didn’t change its color, John’s turned beet red. “Well, I, uh, I think you’re really cute and I’ve been trying to talk to you but I haven’t really seen you in awhile.”

Now, Charis’ face turned pink. She turned to look out the window and at her home. The living room light was still on but the curtains were drawn. She knew that her father was probably up waiting for her, needing to know she was safe before he could sleep.

“I should,” she said slowly, “I should probably go.”

John caught her hand as she leaned over to open the door. “Let me walk you to the door.”

The front steps were just a few feet away really, but Charis agreed. This was nerve-wracking, getting such attention, and from John no less. They stood on the steps and he awkwardly held her hand as she rested her other on the door knob. Quick as lightning, before he could hesitate any longer, John leaned in and kissed her. Charis almost jumped in surprise, but before she could deepen the kiss or pull away, John was already backing up.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted.

“Sorry?”

“I didn’t even ask,” John groaned. “Are you angry?”

Charis smiled softly. “No, I’m not angry, John.”

He looked relieved. “I’m glad, because I’d really like to get to know you, Charis.”

“I’d like to get to know you, too, John,” Charis said, opening the door. She turned back to him, saying, “I’ll see you on Monday.”

And as she closed her house door, her mouth twitched, turning itself into a grin so wide it could have quite literally reached her ears. She had closed one door on him but she opened up another for him, so he could weasel his way into her life. It had surprised her how the night had turned out. She was surprised at how she let things happen. But she wasn’t angry, in fact, she was elated, because she finally had John’s attention, and that is really all she wanted.