Diary of a Disordered

I admitted to Allan that I wish I was skinnier. He told me I was perfect and asked why. I don’t know how to explain it. I love wacthing the numbers drop, feeling my stomach get flatter. I love being light-headed from hunger. I like being able to say my size 0 jeans are baggy. I want to be fragile and delicate. I love the feel of my bones. I love guys being able to pick me up without struggling. I want to be tinier, maybe somebody will care about me.