Diary of a Disordered

I told Brook i hated my body. It makes me want to cry, I want to be thin. I just feel so fat and ugly... and wrong. I wish I hadn't ended up like this. I hate being so uncomfortable with my body, knowing no matter how much I work and try it will never be good enough, and I hate not being happy and free to live without thinking about it every minute of every day. And I honestly don't think I'll stop until I'm in the hospital; Would that be so bad? I just feel so pathetic every time I eat.