Diary of a Disordered

My friend Brecken told me about this 'trainer'. He pretty much tells her how to act and what eat, say, and wear or he'll punish her. Anyways she told me about it because he won't let her talk to any of her ana friends that are larger than her, but I'm not. She said he might even be willing to train me. He makes her call him Lord, and he treats her how he believes she deserves to be treated. She can't argue or disappoint him, so all of this caught me.

She sent me a few conversations. He calls her names and makes her feel worthless, but he's teaching her control, which will hopefully make her happy in the long run. Hopefully I can please him too. It's kind of strange though. We have no idea who he is or if what he says it the truth, but Brecken sent adult pictures to him. It's actually really scary, and hopefully he won't think I'm worth his time. Agh, I already want to please him, and he's a complete stranger?

My ribs, stomach and back really hurt today.
I didn't eat breakfast, and binged twice, and I went for an hour long walk. I don't feel so horrible about my fat 97.

I'm dreading break. I'll have to eat so much! And I won't be able to purge everything. TOmorrow I'll have to eat enchiladas and keep them down most likely. First time in 12 days. Ugh, I seriously want to cry just thinking about eating. 3 weeks. That's 42 meals I'll be forced to eat! I'm going to work out a lot, I'll still get fat, though :/